Thursday, May 11, 2006

Night Owl

Night owl again. For some reason I have the hardest time making myself go to bed at night. Its not that I can't sleep. I just don't want to. Since my teen-age years it has been the same. Push myself until my bleary eyes can't stand it anymore. I suppose being alone with my thoughts bothers me. During the day I always have to have something going. In the car I am always listening to talk radio or a cd I burned that morning. At night I am either reading or doing something with my laptop.
Meditation and quiet time with God is always hard for me. I pray but, shutting up and listening to him is tough. One of our Sunday school home work assignments was to pray alone for at least 30 minutes. I think I made it through 10. The motor never shuts off.
One of the ways I like to communicate with God is by singing praise songs in the car. There is always one song that seems to really touch the spirit. Today it was Complete by Parachute Band. They are a group out of New Zealand. I discovered them At Saddleback Chuch in California. They were perfoming for the Celebrate Recovery Conference. We bought all their CDs. You can listen to their music at

Here are the lyrics to Complete.

Words and Music by Andrew Ulugia
From the album “Amazing” by the Parachute Band

Here I am oh God
I bring this sacrifice
My open heart
I offer up my life
I look to You Lord
Your love that never ends
Restores me again

So, I lift my eyes to You Lord
In Your strength will I break through Lord
Touch me now, let Your love fall down on me
I know Your love dispels all my fears

Through the storm I will hold on Lord
And by faith I will walk on Lord
Then I’ll see beyond my calvary one day
And I will be complete in You

© 2001 Parachute Music, PO Box 108 223, Symonds St, Auckland, New Zealand
CCLI # 3282322
Well, I think my motor is finally running out of gas.
Till next time.


Mandylea said...

I love your previous post....I never really thought of my life as being like the weather, but your really hit the mark. I do not live my life on the road of recovery from addiction, but I do live with several mental disorders. I know that I could not get through the days if it were not for the grace of God, but I also know that there are times that I cannot "feel" His presence. I, too, read Redeemed's site and find it very helpful. Keep up the great work with the site, I know how theraputic they can be, as I have one myself that I really use as an online journal of sorts. I will be staying up to date with your site.


Redeemed said...

I can totally relate to the "motor running" thing. My mind is constantly working. My sixteen year old uses the term "veg out" for her down time. I can't "veg out"! Even as I type I am thinking of my next journal entry. The only time that I can slow down my mind is by listening to or playing my music. I love to sing and perform southern gospel music, it's my passion and God has blessed me with certain talents in that area. I have to use it just to re-center myself when my mind won't stop. I have bi-polar and some people say that it is mania, but it's not, I can tell the difference. Like you, I just don't WANT to go to sleep. There's just better things to do! With my addiction I have to keep busy but I take it to extremes. When I began my recovery, one of the first things said to me was that when you give something up you have to replace it with something else. It's taken two years but I think I have finally found the "something else". My spiritual blog site, my photography business, and my devotion to daily Bible study is filling that void in my life that was there for so long. I have also developed GREAT friendships that are healthy and help to keep me on track. God continues to bless my every day.

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