Tuesday, May 29, 2007

New Day

Is the sun shining? Do I see light at the end of the tunnel? Am I jumping the gun?

I am always hesitant to get too excited about tomorrow. Have to make sure I'm not on a slide.
It isn't very fun to tell folks how great I am feeling then, next day can't get off the floor. Ah the bipolar hula!

Anyways, work is going good again for right now. I am getting my excercise like a good boy, and am getting better about my eating habits. Seems almost like old times before the wreck.

It's amazing what you can do with focus!
Right now.


Monday, May 28, 2007

Back on the Bike

Do you feel the winds of change?
Soon this weight will fall away
And take you to a place
Only found through these winds of change

What a good weekend. I have been back on my bike twice. Day one, 4o minute or so ride. Day two an hour. I almost ate it today on the wet trails. It is tradition here that it always rains Memorial day weekend. This one was no exception.

Of course I did the obligitory Memorial Day guy thing. Watched two hours of the series Band of Brothers. I had never seen the last two episodes. Fantastic, I never cease to be in awe of the people who serve in uniform for our country. I watch our guys over in Iraq and Afganistan on the Military Channel and feel like a complete pansy. Incredible what they do.

Anyways, the above lyric is from a song that gives me hope when I'm down. I try to listen to it once a day.
I'm starting a new side-bar of what I am listening to. Just wanted to share some of the tunes that have given me a boost.

Trust me,

There have been a lot


Sunday, May 27, 2007

Finally, The Awards Are Out!

Last month Shirley Buxton presented me with The Thinking Blogger Award. It was the first blog award I have recieved from my peers, and coming from her was a true honor. So today, finally, I am awarding five blogs that really make me think.

1. Three Kid Circus. I love the name of Jenny's blog. I have tons of kids in my house and I love her stories. The post that really got me was "Bad to the Bone" I was laughing hysterically. When I was a kid we weren't allowed to say "butt" either, we had to say bottom or even worse, fanny. (is it any wonder I have issues?)

2. A LifeTime on the Ride: Mandy has been one of my blogging buddies since I started. This past year has been a huge growing experience for her, and I have enjoyed and found strength in her writing. She has gone from severe depression to running freaking marathons!

3. The Soiled Chamois: This one is a bit different. Jason is an endurance mountain biker. Half the time I am not sure what he is talking about but, (bike terminology) he is totally driven to what he does. Jason writes about it with humor and flair.

4. Acute Politics: Teflon Don does an awesome job writing on his experiences in Iraq. It is almost like you are there with him. We need to honor him and all our serving men and women in uniform past and present for Memorial Day. Actually they should be honored everyday for their sacrifice.

5. Blah Blah Blog: Linda (aka Lou) not only has a great sense of humor but is a great humanitarian as well. She is a nurse who spends her summers on mission trips. Make sure you check out her emergency roomisms.

So all of y'all check-em out. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.


Tuesday, May 22, 2007


Ecclesiastes 3-11

God has planted eternity in the human heart.

How do we fathom this? God has planted eternity in our hearts. It means that each of us, no matter where we are from. No matter what our culture, He has done this for all of human-kind.

Paul tells us in Romans that people instinctively know about God. He has placed this knowledge in our hearts as well.

In my life I denied this for years. Things were wrong, and I could never quite put my finger on what it was. My lifestyle was fueled by the weekend. The never ending I owed it to myself whether I deserved it or not. Then Monday morning "welcome back to reality."

Self medication with a prescription of lies and fears with a dose of as needed, leaves you lost in the world. This place we live in with it's decieving beauty is empty without God. We can see what he has created but, without him it is hollow, nothing. We see without seeing. We know but don't. Going through the motions.

I knew my life was wrong. A disaster, with a gulf of no hope. Hope is like sight. You don't know what's missing until you recieve it. The last time I visited the eye doctor he changed my contacts. I tried the new lenses and "wow!" I can see!

I had no idea my lack of hope until I had it.

In Christ I'll have it for eternity.


Sunday, May 20, 2007

The Journey

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. An ant builds a mound one grain of sand at a time. Faith as small as a mustard seed can move a mountain.

Jesus is a lamp to our feet, a light unto our path. A light at our feet means we can only see what is right ahead of us. Single steps, single steps. The kiss principle, keep it simple stupid.

Sometimes something so small is the way to go. I don't have to slay the dragon all at once, I'll just hack away and pray for progress. My thought processes seem to be getting back to normal. My focus is much better.

Right now.
I hate to go more than that because I don't know what tomorrow holds. I pray for strength and the peace that passes all understanding. I also pray that I will totally accept the Grace and the supernatural love that God has for me. I do but, my brain has a hard time encompassing it.

Hey, I journaled three days in a row...

Pray for George, that he will come to know Christ and accept His Grace.


Tuesday, May 15, 2007


Up, down. Up down. You know it is really cool that I finally know what I'm dealing with in my Life. I recognize the cycles of mania and depression.

Stuff makes sense now. Changes will have to be made. Commission sales may not be the best thing for me anymore.

What to do? I have been praying for The Lord to open another door for me. Stability would be a good thing.

I am coming to a crossroads. Which way do I go?

God will tell me. If I shut up and listen.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Love Part II

I recently finished reading Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller What a fantastic Read! I got so much out of it.

You can read stuff and something clicks that blows your mind. A new way of looking at things.

Here is something that really changed my thinking from reading the book. I am totally relating to what spoke to me as I read. These are not quotes from the book. If it smooshes with it consider it a paraphrase.

You have to completely accept God's Supernatural Love.

I am the greatest in the world at talking down to myself. When I say a bad word. Have lustful thoughts, let my eyes wander, or watch something I shouldn't, I feel guilty to the point of paralyzation. Like Jim Carrey in the movie Liar Liar. You know, the bathroom scene. "Excuse me! Do you mind! I'm Kickin' my own ass!"

Paul tell's us "While we were still sinners Christ died for us." Jesus knows how broken and twisted we are. That's why he did what he did. We were beyond the law. Now we are free!

Shame and guilt can torture us into believing, how could God love us? This is satan seperating us from the Sheperd. Good conviction is a tug, a desire to do better. If you hear, you suck, how could you do that, what is wrong with you, it is of the devil.

All you have to say to remember is, Jesus died for me!


Friday, May 11, 2007


I loved my morning devotional today.

I thought I would share it with you.


Loving Out The Fear

by Jon Walker

All of you should be of one mind, full of sympathy toward each other, loving one another with tender hearts and humble minds. (1 Peter 3:8 NLT)

God enables us to love the fear out of one another.
We drive fear from our families and friends by loving one another so supportively that every one feels safe inside the group (1 John 4:18). This safety allows us to bring our humanity into the open, including all our pain and joy, our ups and downs, our victories and defeats.

It means you give to others the same uncommon safety Christ gives you – to be real, to be sad, to be messed up and confused, yet to be loved.

God challenges us to create a Christ-community where we love like our lives depend upon it (1 Peter 1:22) and where we can each “live and move and have our being.” (Acts 17:28)
We’re to weep as one and celebrate as one, caring for each other equally (1 Corinthians 12:25-26)
as we comfort and confront, warm and warn, cherish and challenge within an atmosphere of supportive safety.

Loving the fear out of each other requires that we develop:

Tender hearts – We give support to each other because God gives us support, and we’re to encourage others with the encouragement we receive from him. (2 Corinthians 1:4)

In the New Testament, the word ‘support’ can literally mean “to increase one another’s potential.” (Romans 14:19 NJB) We strengthen one another by extending love, instead of fostering fear, and we do that by offering relationships that are safe and sympathetic.

Humble minds –True humility focuses on the worth of others. We understand our value in Christ, and we understand that God shapes each of us for a unique purpose.

Godly eyes – Loving the fear out of our family and friends – in fact, loving the fear out of the world – means we see others for what they can be, not for what they appear to be now. Jesus called Peter a rock when the fisherman was still acting on impulse (Matt. 16:18), and God called Gideon a mighty man of courage when he was hiding from the enemy among piles of grain. (Judges 6:11-12) God calls us to encourage and affirm each other (1 Thessalonians 5:11), seeing those around us in terms of their purpose and mission in life.

So what?
God enables us to love the fear out of one another. You can love the fear out of others, and you can allow the fear to be loved out of you.

We exhibit tender hearts when we say to one another:

It’s OK to have a bad day.·

It’s OK to be tired.·

It’s OK to admit your mistakes.·

It’s OK to say your marriage is failing.·

It’s OK to confess your addiction.· It’s OK to share you’re scared.·

It’s OK to want a day away from your toddler.·

It’s OK to grieve this loss.·

It’s OK to doubt, to be confused, to cry.

We exhibit humble minds when we say to one another:

It’s OK to be happy you got a new car.

It’s OK to celebrate that you got a huge raise.

It’s OK to joyfully tell us you lost 17 pounds.

It’s OK to say you won the sales competition.

It’s OK to shout “Hallelujah!” because God’s presence in your life is so good.

It’s OK to tell us these things because we will be as happy for you as if these blessings had come to us, and we will join you in hearty celebration.

© 2007 Jon Walker. All rights reserved.
Jon Walker is a pastor-advocate living in Southern California and the former pastor of communications at Saddleback Church.

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Tuesday, May 8, 2007


Ahh Spam! Is it fried? Baked with jelly on top? Or is it that annoying stuff that clogs your email no matter how many times you block?

What a great name for email adverts. Nobody really knows what or where the original Spam comes from and it is kinda hard to know where this email stuff comes from as well.

Don't get me wrong, I like spam. Fried and dipped in mustard. Baked with grape jelly on top... Hey, don't knock it till you have tried it. I also like chocolate cake and a glass of buttermilk with salt in it. Oops, I probably scared all my readers away with that one.

But this email spam is pretty annoying.

I only wish I could get that money from Abu Mbinki the poor widower who could be rich If I could just give him my banking info. Man if I could only collect half of the laptops and Ipods I'm offered I could open my own electronics store. How about opening a pharmacy? Dude, what about the stock tips? Busting the Dow wide open, man what a dream! Free theme park tickets, Motorola Razrs. Wow, spam offers so many incredible opportunities! I'm not even going into the dating ones or the natural male.... Ahh never mind.

I think I'll just stick with the one in the can.


P.S. I am working on my thinking blogger awards.

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Making Sense

Moments of clarity. The light bulb comes on. Something clicks, and suddenly you get it.
How does this happen? How do we get away from the foundational things Jesus has given us? Then suddenly we get it again?

I know what I have to do in my life, but dang it, I don't. I know what He wants from me, I fight.
The verse in the song Hold Me Jesus is so me.
"I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want than to take what You give that I need."

I am like grandpa's mule who needed a two by four to get him moving. The call is there but I will not pick up the phone. I will not listen to the messages either because I don't want to hear them. So they pile up.

Paul said it best.
"I know that nothing good lives in me. That is my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is right, but I cannot carry it out.

I don't want to be blinded to get it. I don't want to be swallowed by a fish either.
I better shut up and know He is God.

I want to thank Shirley Buxton for awarding me the Thinking Blogger Award. It means a lot coming from her. I admire her writing a great deal and for her to say I write beautifully was a wonderful compliment. Even more is her support and her prayers. So watch out fellow bloggers this award will be coming to five blogs that really make me go "hmmm." (I can't help being a cornball.)

The history behind this award can be found here.


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