Sunday, July 30, 2006

Home is Where the Heart is


Holy Cow! This is it! Home sweet Home! We are finally moved in. We are finally growing roots! Deep roots I hope. My father was telling me, "I hope we don't have to do this again." I said, hopefully not for twenty years at least.

I am so happy, Lisa is too. This is almost like a dream. God has blessed us immensely. I cannot help but think that he will use this home for some type of outreach. I mean, it's just too sweet. The way we fell into it was just amazing! When first offered my wife and I were just overwhelmed. We turned it down several times but it kept coming back. I really feel we are in the right place. We need to make sure we use it for His purpose.

I need help. I want a plaque on the front and back door that has the verse "As for me and my house we will serve the Lord." Any Ideas on where to something like that?

Talk again to you soon


Larry

Friday, July 28, 2006

In Transition

Hey there, Just thought I would let y'all know that to day and tomorrow is moving day. It may be tough to post. I hope your weekend is blessed, I will be posting when I can.

I wanted to leave this link. It offers the best definition I have read regarding what is going on in the middle east. You can read it here.


Larry

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

I Survived!

Two years in a row! I have managed to survive. Two years in a row!
As I have said before, I am surrounded by girls. Seven in all. Even our pets are female!

Saturday was my daughter's Ninth birthday party. The Second one I have survived! What makes these last two parties so dangerous you ask?

Last year we continued on with my wife's tradition of having a slumber party each year for Lexie's birthday. My wife Lisa, (who really should plan parties for a living) always has tons of games planned to keep the girls occupied. On Lex's eighth birthday she invited twelve girls to stay over for her party. Lisa cooked up tons of games. Girlie games. Tie the ribbons to the flip-flops, pinata, princess wands etc. Now usually I am the police, the man who keeps the kids from getting too obnoxius and getting into things they shouldn't. IE, staying out of mom and dads bedroom, keeping the peace, and pulling the rope on the pinata. Last year this changed.

My wife invented a new game, based on the hit series American Idol. The contest was judged on two parts, dancing and singing. Other than that Lisa really didn't have it figured out. She was going to play it by ear that fateful Saturday night. Little did I know my bystander days were over forever.

My stepdaughter, Tara, was nine months pregnant with her now one year old daughter Madelyn Brook Juliano. Maddie decided Saturday night was her big coming out party!.

So, guess where my wife went? Guess who was now in charge of 12 girls ages six to ten? You got it, ME!! DUN DUN DAAAA! (pretend it's dramatic music)

Yes thats right me. I go from bystander, protecter of the bedroom to, The man! I must say, everything went off quite well. We played all the games my wife had created. Mall scavenger hunt, princess, team flip-flop ribbon putter onner etc. Only one hitch, I had no idea how to do the American Idol contest. Lex, was upset. Of course we had had soo much fun doing everything else. One thing was missing and it was all she could focus on. I had to think of someway to make it right. And Quickly.

Between you and I, a legend was born that night. A hero and character so profound the land of birthday celebrations will never, ever, be the same. American Idol did go on that night and it was a smashing success. We even had a host. Alas Ryan Secrest couldn't make it. So we had to make do with his goofy english brother.

Corky









Yes, Ryan's mentally challenged lounge singing English brother, Mr. Corky arrived to save the day. Corky hosted birthday American Idol. Last year 12 girls competed and only one was crowned. Corky saved the day!

This year was a bit different. With the move to the new house, and us being a bit dislocated we couldn't have as many girls, we had only six but Mr. Corky made it just as fun.

And yes, I did survive to tell the tale.







Till Next Year.


Corky
(oops)

Larry



Monday, July 24, 2006

Moving Week

Gotta tell you guys, I am moving this week! Hoorayy! Back to the real world. Staying with the folks has been safe harbor since my surgery but it is time to go. We signed our papers on our house today and had a paint party tonight. My posting may be a bit spotty the rest of the week. I will try and post as much as I can, but truth be told I'm so busy I can't see straight. Work and getting the house ready is consuming enormous amounts of time. Bear with me I will post as much as I can.

I just want to mention how wonderful my life is. Not from material things but, from my blessings from Christ. I have so many people helping me. I could never have imagined this four years ago.

Not only that, but all of you who have prayed for my recovery.

Thanks will never be enough.


Larry

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Tired Again?

You know, I just can't figure out why I am so tired all the time when I blog. Oh yeah! It's usually late whenever I do it. Here we are at midnight again! I have noticed that I slip the most when I am tired. My prayer life shrinks, my behavior gets courser (language) and my thought slip.

It is so hard for me to go to bed. Since my return, my days are so jammed that I have to wait till it's late to get the "me-time" stuff done. Thats ok though, if my days are busy it means business is good and I am making a living. One of my blogging friends was writing of the opposite today, learning how to relax, her post is here.

I have been doing well each day staying focused on Jesus. Each night I pray that he empty my cup when I go to bed. This way I start empty each morning. And of course, my morning prayer is for Him to fill it. I stay concious of my Father throughout the day. This has been working well for me. My weeks have been fruitful. It's the days I stray when I struggle. I pray I can maintain this pattern. I have to remember, consistency.

I will leave you with a poem from another one of my blog friends. It is called Telescope Eyes. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. In fact, I'm going to ask Helen if I can print it and frame it. I liked it so much.


Till Tomorrow!


Larry


Thursday, July 20, 2006

Warm Springs Church

I will be totally honest, I could not think of a single thing to blog about this evening. So I decided to choose one of my favorite pictures and write about it.

This is a fantastic old church my wife and I saw when we visited Warm Springs, Georgia We had been staying at Callaway Gardens, and one of our day trips was to Warm Springs.

Warm Springs of course was the home of Franklin D Roosevelt. He stayed there to bathe in the mineral waters the town was famous for. Roosevelt suffered from polio. People came here from all over the United States to get relief from the crippling disease.


Enjoy the picture.

I am hoping for no more writers block tomorrow.


Blessings!


Larry Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Consistency


I am pooped. It has been a long day.
My family owns a small insurance agency here in Humble, Texas, in the Houston area. Dad has been in the business for over thirty years. Me? A drop in the bucket but getting better. I have been working for dad almost four years. I manage all of our group major medical accounts. I am also responsible for bringing in new clients. I go out and try to bring home at least two new applications (insurance policies) a day. That is my goal. It is more complicated than that but I can't get more detailed without mentioning the companies I represent. (legal issues and stuff) Suffice it to say I sell great products that really help folks.

Before the surgery I had a problem with consistency. I get a base salary plus commision, and each new policy I sell gives me some up front cash and additional monthly income. Pre-surgery I would hustle and sell a bunch at a time, then slack off. Bunch at a time, slack off. On agan then off again etc. Paying the bills was as inconsistant as the commission checks. This is not good. It gets you behind. It also activates my wife's security gland. For those of you not familiar with this part of the female anatomy, it is right beside her heart. It goes spastic when money gets tight and the bills are late.

So part of the new me back at work is consistency. I want to make my wife feel secure and happy. I also love our new house we are moving into. I don't want to feel overwhelmed. I don't want to have to worry about moolah! Period. Plus God wants me to manage my gifts better.

Anyway, I'm not sure where I was going with this. I started this post to whine about how tired I am tonight. Ha! See? I can't even whine anymore without making a point about something.

Thank God for my Life. It is so cool. I can't wait to see whats next.


Larry

Monday, July 17, 2006

Direct Amends Wherever Possible

Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. Matthew 5, 24-25

Let me tell you what I have been stressing about. Then let me tell you how God physically reminded me that there is no escape from the right path.
I have posted before about my struggles with making amends in Stuck in Slow Motion.
Today God made a serious breakthrough in my recovery. I had no choice. I was completely out of the loop. I have seen God work changes in others almost immediately but I have never personally experienced a burning bush until today.

I will break this down exactly as it happened.

The last two weeks have been difficult at Celebrate Recovery. I have had a real issue with another member on our leadership team that has still not been resolved. It has to do with this person's commitment to being honest and sincere in our small group and being honest in general. I have been reluctant to confront this person because of my own co-dependency. So today I am thinking I have to handle this. I cannot let this go on. I leave a message for this person and it hits me. How can I be down on this person for their recovery when I have been stalled on my ninth step. The ninth step for those of you who don't know is this.

We made direct amends to such people when ever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

I admit it. I have been a total coward on this step. There are two primary people whom I need to ask forgiveness from. These things occured over four years ago before I went into recovery. One involves betrayal of a best friend and mentor. The other I took complete advantage of while renting their home.

About six months ago I noticed Sam (names have been changed of course.) in a parking lot of the building I attend corporate sales meetings at. I like to have died. Sam was my former boss and best friend I had betrayed in the depths of my addiction. I was talking on my cell phone, I walked on by hoping he didn't run up and smack me. I don't know whether or not he saw me but I was relieved there was no confrontation. I saw Sam a few more times after that. In the parking lot and clever fellow that I am, deduced he was officing out of the building. I even did some detective work and figured out which office was his. From that moment forward I knew was going to have to approach him and ask for his forgiveness. I avoided it like the plague but it continued to be a burden on my heart.

Flash back to today. This morning I was trying to decide how to confront my fellow Celebrate Recovery member on getting real and it hit me. How can I tell him to get real when I won't even finish my ninth step? I made up my mind. After my sales meeting this morning I would see Sam, ask him for forgiveness and then go and confront my friend.

I leave my meeting and then walk through the building to where Sam's office is and I chickened out. I could not make myself walk in the door. I took a breath and here comes the old feelings of worthlessness and shame. All of a sudden I needed to answer the call of nature. Head down I walked into the restroom. I used the facilities and slowly made for the building exit.

I open then door and walk into the bright lit Texas sky and guess who is coming up the walkway? Sam.

I had no escape. There was no way we could miss each other. The only way I could have gotten away would have been to jump the hedges. He was talking on his cell phone. I waited, smiling up at the sky. I knew this was all Christ's doing. He hung up and we shook hands. I looked him in the eye and right there asked him to forgive me for what I had done. He was a bit taken aback and said that it was all right. I said no, it wasn't all right what I did was wrong and please forgive me. He did. We made some inconsequential small talk, (nervousness) I gave him my card and we left it at that.

I kind of walked on air all the way back to my car. I knew what my Savior had done for me. Not just in arranging Sam and I to meet but His dying on the cross for my sins. I know now I had nothing to fear in taking this step. This has been another nail in the coffin for fear in my life. I'll invite y'all to the wake.



Larry


Sunday, July 16, 2006

There's No Place Like Home


I want to apologize. I have been completely slack in my posting. I have a lot going on. As I recently posted I am back at work full blast. Very tiring, I am no longer headed for the couch in the early afternoon. I go all day now.

Also my wife and I are also getting ready to move! Yea! We have been staying with my parents since my surgery. It has been a safe haven here but it is time to get back to the real word.

Our mortgage company found us our dream house. It is a huge home in a great neighborhood. Lots of trees, yards, and rooms. A little large for us but perfect. God has answered our prayers. I'll post pictures of it sometimes next week. This has been my other time killer, getting the house ready tomove in. We have been cleaning and painting. There is only so much I can do. I still can't lift more than five pounds and I still can't bend very well. (I'm really not supposed to bend at all.) Thank God lots of men at our church have offered to move us.

One true test of a pure friend is one who will help you move. This would be twice in six months guys from church have moved us. We are so blessed. I wanted to let all of you know, my posting may be sporadic for the next two weeks but once we are settled I will be back on schedule. We will always consider our home to be a house of the Lord. To be used as He sees fit. It will always be his.

It couldn't have happened without lots of prayer.



Larry

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Turning it over





I have mentioned in several posts about fear. The kind of fear that would paralyze me into inaction. Below are the top four.
  1. Fear of being judged
  2. Fear of rejection
  3. Fear of confrontation
  4. Fear of failure
Since the surgery my view of fear has gone from inaction, to utilizing my steps to deal with it. Pretty cool huh?

Easy? No. But I am getting there.

Today I was at one of my accounts. One of my more difficult ones. The owner is very forceful and aggressive. Good man, but for me extremely intimidating. I usually kind of sneak in, take care of my clients and sneak out. He's a very busy guy and views what I do as disruptive to his business. Anyway I go in. Make my manners to the office manager and head off to where I do my thing in the shop. I walk in the door and there he is, surrounded by five or six of his foremen right by the door I have to go through. My heart starts beating rapidly. Mask goes on, lips contort into a smile, hand goes up in a casual wave, he slightly tips his head at me and I make it into the break room. As I am setting up my stuff I can hear him really getting after his guys.

Evidently a client was really nagging him about getting an order filled more quickly. The owner was saying "You guys get this done so I can get this blankety blank blank blank, blankhead of my back". (paraphasing of course) He was really getting after it. Of couse in my mind, I am next. The guy he was talking about wasn't there, but I was. All I could think of was, I'm next and I'm about to be judged and humiliated in front of all these guys. Talk about ready to leave.

All this went through my mind in a nano-second.

Wait, wait I think. Romans 8-15 pops in my head. You did not recieve a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear but, you recieved the spirit of sonship. And by him cry Abba, Father.

My heartbeat returns to normal and the 12 steps come back to me.
  1. Realize I am powerless. I have no control over this man
  2. Remember that God is in control
  3. And then I turned it all over to God
I began to pray for the owner of this company. I prayed that he would not be driven by his own fears. That he would take time and enjoy the abundance God has gifted him with.

The meeting they were having broke up and I finished setting up my equipment. I realized I wasn't afraid anymore. I was at peace. Amazing huh? I went on to have a very successful day with the guys I was there to see.

It really does work if you work it.


Larry

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Update and Correction

Sorry folks, I made some errors in my post yesterday about the "Headbutt Heard Round the World." First off french guy's name is Zidane not Zildane. Second, Mazzerati was the guy who was headbutted, not Zidane's last name. Told y'all I don't know beans about soccer. Oh well.

I haven't been able to focus on blogging as much lately because I have been back at work full force. Not just a little but Eight to Five thirty every day. It is actually very exciting to be back. I still have moments where I feel drop dead exhausted but praise God I am making money again. I am in sales, I was concerned about being motivated enough to get back out there. So far I have met my daily goal that I set for myself.

I apologize for not getting around to all of my blogging friends recently. It has been hard to set aside the time. I am figuring it out my "blogging time" and will be back commenting soon. I did add to my blogroll over the weekend and plan to add more this Sunday.

I do want to thank all of you one more time for your prayers and support before my surgery and during my recovery. It meant a lot knowing you were there. I still have a long way to go on my road to recovery and with God's help and your prayers I will arrive safely.

Blessings!

Larry


Monday, July 10, 2006

World Cup Follies Part 2

I have seen this picture all day.
On the internet, the local paper and tv.
Seems like everywhere I turn, there it is.
Had no idea what it was about.

Evidently the guy on the left is some kind of soccer bad boy, Zildane Matteratti?. (hope I spelled it right.) Anyway, I was surfing Technorati tonight, and saw the picture again. So I clicked on it and was brought to this to this site. The title of the post was "The Headbutt Heard Round the World". The post included a video of the event which is in french.

I decided to share with you my analysis.

Dude on the right was talking a little trash to the dude on the left, Zildane. This makes him not so happy. They move up field like everything is just dandy. Zildane then sneakily but forcefully headbutts dude in the chest. LOL! no kidding. Smacks the guy right in the pecs with his head. He really laid this guy out. What cracked me up was the totally underhanded way he did it.

Watch the video, Zildane continues playing, everything is normal and then BAM! he lunges right into him. I'm not going going to stereo-type the french but I thought this was pretty lame.

Let me put this into context for you. Imagine a batter in a baseball game brushed back or hit by a pitch. He takes his base like normal, not charging the mound. He ends up on second base and then charges the pitcher from behind, knocking him to the ground. Be a good sport for crying out loud. If the guy said something about your mother or your country be up front about it. Defend your honor, don't be sneaky. This would be a bench clearing brawl at an Astros'/Cubs game.



It just goes to show, I know nothing about soccer. "Thats right Larry!" you say. "Can't appreciate it if you don't understand it." I just don't think thats true. I don't have a clue about hockey but I like watching it. Go figure.


Larry

Thursday, July 6, 2006

Christian Moments That Change Forever

I have been promising to write about a few epiphanies I have recently experienced. You know, those moments where your thinking changes forever?

I wrote a post in June titled Whats the Point? I wrote of several life changing events in my life. Among them, being born, becoming a christian, meeting my wife etc. I am pretty sure after this week I'm going to have to add a few.

First epiphany. For Fathers' Day I purchased a book by Paul Coughlin titled "No More Christian Nice Guy". I stumbled across this tome while searching for the Ideal Dad's day gift for my father. Our men's bible study group at church has been trying to figure out how to get more guys involved in our church. A very nice lady at our local christian bookstore was kind enought to point this book out to me. Bells ring! This clicks with what dad has been working on. Round peg, round hole, Happy Fathers Day.

A day or two goes by. I pick up the book and start reading it. You could have knocked me over with a brick. The Author and I have something in common. A life ruled by fear. Even though we have a lot of differences there were still many similarities. But the common denominator was fear. While recovering from my surgery I have had a lot of time to think. I believe God has used this time to wean me off of fear and this book was the icing on the cake. I understand the author's gut wrenching fear he experienced in childhood. The lack of worth. When you read about his experience, if you can relate at all, you will vividly understand. Paul brings it to life. I recomend any man struggling in life with this stuff to read this book.

People don't understand that most of what we struggle with is fear driven. Addiction, co-dependency, lying, pornography, alcoholism all are fear based. I want to share the verses he put in the book that got my attention. The ones I have been meditating on. Jeremiah 29:12 If you invoke Me and pray to Me. I will listen to you. We know this but do we really? We say it, we read it but do we know it. Roll it into John 16:33 "In this world you will have trouble. But Take Heart! I have overcome the world." Fear is starting to tremble now. We all know we have problems but Jesus is saying It's gonna happen, people are going to pick on you. Abuse you. Not treat you right. But look, It isn't anything I haven't experienced. I have conquered the Grave! I have overcome the world! I will take care of you! How awesome is that. Thank God for Paul Coughlin putting this together. I needed to see the context. In my mind I knew these things but not in my heart. The last verse will blow you away. Romans 8:15 "You did not recieve a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you recieved the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, Abba, Father."

Epiphany number two, I have also been reading Lee Strobel's "The Case For Faith," a book about the eight "heart barriers to faith". Examples, Since evil and suffering exist, a loving God Cannot, Evolution explains life so God isn't needed. Strobel is a former atheist and investigative reporter who uses his investigative skills to track down answers to tough questions we have regarding faith in God.

Stobel was interviewing Peter Kreeft a professor of philosophy at Boston College. I plan on reading much more of Kreeft's writings. What follows is the climax to the question of how can God exist if he allows suffering.

This is what blew me away. Strobel asks, "The answer, then, to suffering. Is not an answer at all."

Kreeft responds. "Correct, It's the answerer. It's Jesus Himself. It's not a bunch of words, it's the Word. It's not a tightly woven philosphical argument; it's a person. The person. The answer must be someone, not just something, because the issue involves someone--God, where are you? Jesus is there, sitting beside us in the lowest places of our lives, Are we broken? He was broken, like the bread, for us. Are we despised? He was despised and rejected of men. Do we cry out that we can't take any more? He was a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. Do people betray us? He was sold out himself. Are our tenderest relationships broken? He too loved and was rejected. Do people turn from us? They hid their faces from him as from a leper." "Does he descend into all of our hells? Yes, he does. From the depths of a Nazi death camp, Corrie ten Boom wrote: 'No matter how deep our darkness, he is deeper still.' He not only rose from the dead, he changed the meaning of death and therefore of all the little deaths--the sufferings that anticipate death and make up parts of it. He is gassed in Auschwitz, He is sneered at in Soweto. He is mocked in Northern Ireland. He is enslaved in the Sudan. He's the one we love to hate, yet to us he has chosen to return love. Every tear we shed becomes his tear. He may not wipe them away yet, but he will."

Is it any wonder I have been so tied up in deep thought? There are moments in your life that change your thinking forever. I think this week was one of them.


Larry





Wednesday, July 5, 2006

Day by Day


I must apologize, I have been a little out of whack the last couple of days. Lot on my mind. Today was my first full day back at work, I made it through the entire day and actually got something accomplished. I feel confident and satisfied for the first time in while. I am very tired.

I am playing hooky from choir practice to post tonight. Very light turn out tonight. We have three tenors and one of each bass, alto and soprano. I am just going to run their sound tonight. Oops, we have more coming in. Wow! more folks than usual.

I love my church. Atascocita's First Baptist Church. We are struggling right now. Our pastor recently resigned. He should have left a long time ago. If you are burned out you can only do harm to your congregation. I love him very much. He was there for me during some extremely difficult times in my life. I will refer to him as A. A was the person I processed my fifth step with. Whatever the reason for leaving, the way he left was very poor form.

One Sunday morning the elders announced to the congregation that A resigned and then read his resignation letter. Now, Just up an leaving is forgivable in a variety of jobs, fry cook, ditch digger, car salesman, waiter etc. What I mean by excusable is that you are easily replaced and you don't leave anyone in too much of a lurch, other than the person who has to pull a double shift. If you are a pastor and you just up and leave? Different story. People count on you. Not just for direction, moral support and counseling but like it or not you are sort of a father figure, hero, and anchor in peoples lives. I know he was for me. Now I know I'm not supposed to have expectations but, I did.

I miss A. He was my three am call. (I never would have called him that late, but he would have been there if I did.) He preached at my grandmother's funeral, baptized my daughter and counseled my wife and I. In the last three and a half years God placed him in my life to guide me through the early years of my recovery and my return to Christ. Brother A is a good man whom I will never forget. I felt abandoned by the way he left.

I forgive him
I pray God helps him find his way



Larry


Sunday, July 2, 2006

Worldcup Observations


Ok, I must preface this post. I know absolutly nothing about soccer, other than you don't use your hands. So I am commenting on this from a level of complete ignorance. My daughter will be playing soccer this summer in her very first attempt at team sports. I have nothing against the sport. I just don't understand it at all. Several reasons for this. I was born in 1969 and raised in Texas. Football rules the roost here. Of course I was too small for it when I started, I lasted one season. My sport was baseball. Soccer was something we would see on the Mexican UHF channels. Now there are just as many soccer goals as there are football uprights and baseball backstops in the local parks. Soccer moms seemed to be all the rage in the 90's. I remember Mia Hamm running around without a shirt on and now I am about to become a soccer dad. So lately I have actually been paying more attention to the game than I ever did before. It's like when you buy a new car and all of a sudden you notice there are thousands of the same kind of car you just bought. Sorry I am digressing.

I thought I would share a few of the World cup related things I have seen and thought of in the last few weeks.

It started with the hooligans. It seems that each country has a set of rabid followers. Sort of like our fans who paint their faces and bellies. The difference is that these guys line up at opposing pubs, drink beer all day and then proceed to beat the crap out of each other after the game along with the local cops. The German police force arrested about a hundred Polish Hooligans.

The next thing I remember drifting in and out of my conciousness was Iran verses Mexico. I was happy Iran was defeated. I only hope the team wasn't shot for losing. Shades of what Saddam did to his Olympic team when they came home empty handed.

This morning I was listening to National Public Radio on the way to church. They were reporting on Brazil's defeat to France. Evidently Brazil was devastated they didn't win the cup six years in a row. C'mon even the Steelers didn't win the superbowl that many times consecutively. I have a friend who from Brazil who works at our local Starbucks. It was my understanding she didn't get out of bed today in order to mourn. Anyway the reporter went on to describe how a "highly decorated" French (I don't remember his name) player deftly shredded the Brazillian defense. I didn't know European sports stars were awarded medals. Can you imagine Brett Favre given a bronze star for dodging a sack?

The next report they carried on NPR was one of those morning edition reports on a town in Africa. (I forget the country or the name of the city.) Anyway they were speaking about brown outs in the obviously poor city. In their usually descriptive manner they described the deep pot holes and lack of infrastructure. How the men would gather in the streets and watch the game on tv's powered by generators in local shops. Alas, they could only watch the game as the generators were so loud you could not here the commentary. To me the reporter seemed to think this was so charming, idyllic. One of the locals was saying how great it was to be able to watch the game, to forget the troubles of the day. Of course at this moment half a world away I turned off my car and walked into Starbucks. Thinking at the time "what's so noble about poverty." I planned to comment on how crappy it seemed that NPR was glamorizing how poor this country was.

It comes to me now. Just as I finished the previous line. Why do we let this happen? Why do we as a nation allow such poverty. As a christian I am told to help people in need. Jesus asks "Did you feed me when I was hungry? Did you clothe me when I was naked? So how do I accomplish this? I honestly don't know. Oh I can donate to the Red Cross, Salvation Army or any number of charitable organizations. I serve at my church but how do we fix it? I need to do a whole other post on this. I have so many things rolling around inside my head right now. I meant for this to be a light hearted post on an American's goofy thoughts on soccer. I will post this out tonight but not on this one.


Larry

Saturday, July 1, 2006

Fragmentation

Got my laptop back. Thought I lost it all. Pictures, music, all kinds of workfiles. A big chunk of my life. It is interesting how computers have become a bit like giant scrapbooks eh? Or maybe like that old closet in your house. You know, where your mom kept keepsakes, pictures and so on. The difference is a fire or flood would take out those memories. With a computer, a virus or a fragmented hard drive will do it. Now I have a choice I can back it up to keep it safe, but just like that closet you kinda forget it's there. Till something bad happens. Then you get that sick feeling. What was I thinking? Next time I get some extra cash? External hard drive. Let the backing up begin.

Thats the way I felt, before I came back to Jesus. Defragmented, lost. A big chunk of my life gone. I didn't know what hope was to know I didn't have any. Lost in a world of guilt and shame over my drug use. Not knowing or thinking how to stop the cycle. Luckily, like my laptop I didn't just stop. I didn't go to jail, hospital, or morg. A little voice told me it was time. God put the pieces back together. Not all at once but when He knew I was ready.


Larry

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