Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Accountability and Sponsorship

Recently I posted how my emotions can be like Texas weather. Peaceful and calm at times , scattered , fearful and frantic at others. This morning was especially frantic with some thundering anger thrown in for good measure.

My wife, daughter and I have been staying with my parents for two months, for security while I recover from my upcoming surgery. I make good money from residual income that is based on commision. In other words... I get paid when my clients pay their premium. So when one or more clients are late paying their bill (which is entirely common) my checks can go from high to low. I supplement this occasional shortfall by selling another product that pays commision immediately. However, being down for my surgery prevents me from doing this. So, long story short, living with the folks makes it safe. We have the same tensions any family has when they live together but ours is magnified because we work together. Lately there have been quite a few shortfalls for the whole agency. This affects my wife's security gland. Which in turn make my tension levels rise and fall quicker than a blog traffic meter. My wife expresses her worries to me quite often, and thats ok, but the frustration I feel of not being able to do anything about it right now causes Sheer Chaos. I am a believer who struggles with addiction and codependency. Chaos and I do not get along.
Needless to say I erupted this morning like Mount St. Helens. I was going to ditch the surgery. I was going to go back to working as hard as I could to alleviate the money problems. To hell with everything. I was going to take care the situation so I didn't have to hear about it any more. The last thing I wanted was to be flat on my back and totally helpless to "fix" it.

My first phone call ended in leaving a message. The second my accountability partner, Corey picked up on the first ring. He could tell right away I was not in a good place. He got both barrels, I unloaded it all. He didn't say anything. He let me get it all out from start to finish. Then gave me practical advice on what to do. I have known Corey for three years. He knew what to call me on and how to help. It is a relationship we never planned on having. God placed both of us in each others path. By the time we were through I had a new confidence I hadn't felt in weeks. Why?

Men have a hard time reaching out when we have a problem. We don't want to seem weak nor do we like asking for help. I usually counseled with our church pastor, but he had recently resigned. So I did it the old fashioned way... I isolated, and when I'm by myself I am in pretty poor company. I had been bottling up my frustrations for weeks.

Ecclesiastes tells us about the advantages of companionship.
"Two people can accomplish more than twice as much as one; they get a better return for their labor. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But people who are alone when they fall are in real trouble. And on a cold night, two under the same blanket can gain warmth from each other. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken". Ecclesiastes 4, 9-12

I thank God for connecting me with Corey and others in CR. (Celebrate Recovery)

The Road to Recovery can be long and twisty
But thank God we don't have to go it alone.



Mandylea said...

I am so glad that you have someone like Corey to call on who can give you that kick in the hiney when you need it. It is great to have friends like that...I have them too. Keep on keeping on and you will come out ahead of the game. There is a great little book out there that you should get.."I Knew You Could". It is based on The Little Engine That Could and can be found in the children's section. You need to get a copy. :)

BTW...thanks for your comments and encouragement on my site.


Redeemed said...

The comments on your site really hit me. I've been in a really bad place for the last few days and it's been a real chore to try to fight my way out of it. I, too, have those friends that can pat me on the back and kick me in the butt at the same time. I didn't get the devotional done on my blog site yesterday. I usually try to do it on Tuesdays, but this funk has thrown me for a loop. Today has been better. My finances are terrible and I don't know what I am going to do. I haven't made my car payment this month (due the 5th) and my dad is the cosigner, so I'm just waiting for the shoe to fall on that issue. My children live with their dad because he can afford to give them all of the things that teenagers need and want. I don't see them very much and it kills me, but I know that I can't possibly be what they need right now. Thanks for your site and thanks for posting to mine.


Jack Mercer said...

Hi Larry!

Just wanted to pop in and thank you for your comments at The Bereans (www.bereans.wordpress.com)

I understand where you are coming from when you said that it seems like it is open season on Christians. But even when we suffer reproach we can say "In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." 1 Thessalonians 5:18

I run two blogs (well actually 4) one a political one (www.newssnipet.blogspot.com) and the Berean site.

Will look forward to your comments. Also, have read some of your content. Would you mind us adding you to our "Blogging Friends" page?

Take care and God bless,


Helen Losse said...

Hi Larry,

Sorry if I came on too strong on The Bereans blog. I didn't intend to upset you. You are, after all, my brother. Christians don't have to agree about everything, but we are saved by the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ.

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