Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Christmas Break!

I have to say,

My butt has been kicked. I have no idea how I made it through this last semester at school, and at life in general.

It has been tough to say the least. I passed all of my classes, wooo hooo!

Financially it has been tight and my internet access has been sporadic. But there is light at the end of the tunnel!

My family and I are moving to the campus! Bills will be much cheaper, grades will go up, and driving time will be nil.

Thanks for all of your prayers, I could not have done it without them.

I will be back to posting at least once a week.

Blessings and Grace to all!


Monday, September 29, 2008

Prayer Needed

I know I have not posted for a while.

Things have been crazy.

I have been working 40 to 50 hours a week and trying to maintain sixteen hours at school, plus taking care of my family. The stress has become unbelievable.

To top it off we have been struggling financially. It seems if its not one thing its another. Mechanical issues with our vehicles, and now our landlord is not renewing our lease. So we will have to move sometime in the next thirty days.


Please pray for our family; for peace, for patience, direction. And for a breakthrough financially.

I know its all going to work out, but gosh its hard.

We feel trapped between the waves and the rocks.


Thursday, August 21, 2008

Back to Campus!

I cannot believe it is that time again. Back to the campus I go for year two of school.

Next week I'll be back to learning. Last year by the Grace of God and some awesome professors I made it through Algebra, and English; luckily I didn't have to diagram any sentences. (whew!)
This year I have new challenges.
Elementary Greek (reading the bible in the raw)
Intro to Philosophy
Current Issues in Youth Ministry
Physical Science
Pretty cool huh?
I am excited about each class. Monday I have to drive over and pick up my books.
Keep me in your prayers

Please also pray for some of my coworkers: All are lost and need hope.
Lisa, Joe, Gina, Matt, and Nathanial.
May the Grace of God be with you all.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

An Opportunity Down the Drain

I was listening to the radio on the way to work this afternoon and I heard a story about a woman counselor who was fired for not taking on a woman who was struggling in a same sex relationship. The full story is here.

The controversy is starting to boil.

My thoughts on the matter went something like this. Wow, this woman really missed an opportunity to be a witness and show the love of Jesus to this person she refused to counsel.

Jesus came to save the world not, to condemn it.
What would have happened if Jesus had turned the woman at the well away?


Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Jekyll and Hyde Christian

Why is it that after a spiritual high there is a spiritual low? Great behavior followed by bad attitudes and a serious lack of patience and understanding?

Is this me? or is it everybody?

If its just me, I get it. I tend to be a nest of radical reversals. Bi-polar anyone?

Sunday my wife and I went to a new church a co-worker attends.

It was awesome!

For the first time in a year or more I felt the true blessing of the spirit. I couldn't decide whether to laugh, cry or sing, so I managed a mishmash of gutteral, goofy grins, and semi-tears. Despite the conflicting emotions it was an awesome feeling.

My wife and daughter walked out chattering like magpies about how wonderful it was. Excited, for once to get involved in a church.

Everthing was about praising God. From the opening music to the offering it was all about the Lord.

It was not about which deacon's turn it was to pray that week, or the youth pastor having time to give the announcements.

It was awesome!

So what happens next? I get to work and promptly start chewing a guys butt for not doing what he was supposed to be doing.

And not in a constructively positive way. Granted the guy was annoying, running his mouth, whiniing, and being a jerk. But I could have totally handled it much better. There were several choice words I could have left off saying.

Oooo I'll celebrate the blessing I received in church by being an ass.

Nice one


Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Beauty and Prayer

The last few months or so I have been stumbling into friends from High school, either through Facebook or email updates.
Its awsome in a way but strange too. Some of my old friends I spent 12 years with from Kindygarten on.

The great thing about it is that I can pass on stuggles that need prayer.
Heres one, from Tom Hudson. Please keep his family in your hearts, minds, and prayers. I am posting his email unedited. This is for Baby Sarah Felicity.
I am sorry to be so late in announcing the birth of our precious baby. On May 14th our little Sarah Felicity was born at full term.

She was only 4 lbs 5 oz and 18 in long. She is a very sweet little girl little Sarah has a condition called Trisomy 18 which is a terminal condition. Only 5-10% of babies born with this genetic condition will live to see their first birthday.
By the grace of our dear Lord and the love and care of her family, Sarah is surprising everyone by how well she is doing. I am writing this because Sarah needs our prayers.

In particular, Lena asks for prayers that our little baby will nurse or be strong enough to feed from a bottle on her own. If Sarah is given a feeding tube, the hope is that it will be temporary. The feeding tubes will sometimes cause fatal infections in these infants, so nursing would be a really huge blessing.

Sarah is absolutely adorable, and Lena’s care for her has been remarkable. Along with caring for our 6 children Lena has been going through these last few months on very little sleep and needs prayers, her strength has been remarkable. This is a link to a youtube video about a baby boy with Trisomy 18.

Please ask anyone you know for prayers as this is an incurable disorder and we are praying for a miracle.

God Bless,
Tom Hudson

Please put the Hudson family on all of your prayerlists.


Monday, August 4, 2008

Back in the Fold

It has been a long year since my move up here to Tyler.

A blessed year with school but also a year in the wilderness.

I went from being completely grounded with Celebrate Recovery, church, and a plethora of family and friends, to wandering in the forest without a compass.

Tonight, I found my new CR home and it feels great.

I haven't posted much because there has been no inspiration. This is a blog on my recovery right?

How can I write if there hasn't been much recovery?

I haven't gone backwards but I haven't moved forward either.

Heres to the future.


Thursday, July 10, 2008

3 AM Conviction

recently I have been plagued by a new phenomenon, insomnia. Work is going well but I don't usually get home till midnight. By the time I wind down enough to go to bed its two in the morning.

No biggie, I take a nap before I go to work and I feel fine.

Simple, except that lately I crawl in bed, doze for a bit, and then I am wide awake.

Sermons start rattling around in my head like a deranged pinball bouncing off of colorful lights. Ping ping, I toss, ping ping, I turn. ARRRGH!

It has occurred to me over the last few days that this is the only time My ADHD brain is still enough to know God.

So, I am guessing I need an outlet, and since I have no pulpit as yet, this blog will have to suffice. I have been negligent in posting because to be honest, I have not been inspired. Well, it seems I now have inspiration in spades.

After tonight I will begin posting the three am chronicles, Whatever Is rattling around in my head that keeps me awake will now be post fodder for my blog.

I'm thinking along the lines of Field of Dreams If I post it, readers will come, and the message he wants out there will be read.

I am under no illusions that all of my best posts were inspired by God, and that for the last several months or so I have not been listening very well.

So welcome to Hallelujahs, 3 am Chronicles or messages or whatever catchy title I can come up with.


Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Alone In the Dark

i had new person comment on one of my posts the other day about being back in the real word.

It was reassuring. I may be back in the real world but God is with me too.

As I bounced over to her blog, Supernatural Christian, I read the following post Called "Be Assured". In it she speaks of her sensitivity to evil in the world, and other people.

She is an awesome writer and a bit trippy.

Anyway I digress.

Tonight at work I snuck out to get a break from the hustle and bustle of closing the restaurant.
To be honest, I had to have a smoke. (Just keeping it real, yes I still struggle with the nicotine fiend.)

So I am sitting out there, and one of the guys comes out and pulls his car up close to where I am sitting. Now I am tired, my feet are hurting like a hammer whose seen to much action, and this jumps out after turning his stereo up loud so I can here the song that has been running in his head all day.

This cat is a good guy at work, does his job, doesn't gripe too much and he's an admitted bi-sexual. He's got that underground disco/techno lifestyle going. and for those familiar with it, you will understand what I am talking about.

I spent a lot of time in my past drinking and drugging in all kinds of bars: gay, straight, country, etc. Each one has their own subculture, of druggies and drunks.

So all of a sudden this trashy song starts blaring, thump, thump, thump. Bass and high-hat tripping right along. This guys starts lip-synching the lyrics to impress me with this song.

To be honest, I have heard worse, and at one time in my life I probably would have thought the song hilarious. However, all of a sudden my blood ran cold with fear and anxiety.

In my mind I started praying for the Spirit of the Lord, and it came to me that I needed to get myself back inside.

So I told the guy, I gotta get back and finish cleaning up, and rather abruptly went back inside.

On the drive home I thought about what had happened, and I thought about Given55's blogpost.

There was an evil presence floating around that moment, that second, this guy pulled up and cranked out his music.

It really freaked me out. I struggle with my own garbage and sin every day. But thank God I have the Holy Spirit inside, protecting me, admonishing me, saving me.

This guy didn't have that, he had something else, and in that moment I felt it.

Pray for this guy who I'll call Joe. (generic enough?)


Thursday, May 29, 2008

Blast From the Past

You know, they say the past will always catch up with you. What goes around comes around.

They tell you to be careful what you put on the internet because it may, cost you job.

Little did I know a secret documentary I made in the late 80's with my best friend
Michael Wilson would one day find the light of day.

We took off of a journey of epic proportions. In search of the ultimate big-foot, Elvis Presley.

Did we find him?

You decide.


Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Welcome to the Real World

Oh, My, Gosh.
I am back in the real world.

It seems I have led quite the sheltered life these last few years. I have been so wrapped up in Church and Celebrate Recovery, School and working at a church that I have forgotten how twisted the world really is.

Now that school is out I am working at a popular Mexican food restaurant here in Tyler.

My first day on the job, and almost every word from my co-workers is a plethora of F-bombs and worse.
My trainer and several others are openly gay. Tales of drinking bouts and sexual conquests seem to be the topic of conversation almost all of the time.
I cannot help but be reminded of my old life before coming back to Jesus. I also have to be careful, because when I get tired my old language, and way of thinking seem to bubble to the surface.
This is how Paul must have felt around the Corinthians.
It is ok though. When asked by the Pharisees why he was hanging around the dregs of society, Jesus told them that the healthy don't need a doctor, the sick do.
I have to figure out how to be a witness.

What a slippery slope eh?
I have been really studying how to be in the world but not of it.

I remember how empty my life was when I lived like there was no tomorrow.

I can't help but think the same for my co-workers.
Please pray for God to open doors for me to share.
And to keep me safe.


Friday, April 25, 2008

Miracles Do Happen!

I have to give thanks to Jesus!

I finished my math yesterday!


I have a few papers to write, and take one more final.

My first year of school will be finished!

I could not have done it without Him!

Praise to my Lord and Savior!

Thank God!

More coming soon.


Saturday, April 19, 2008


How do we show love today?

What does it mean to love?

Is it giving a man on the corner with a sign ten-dollars? Is it saying prayers with your child before bedtime?

Could it be a teacher going way above and behond the call of duty to help their student?

Of course the answer is all of the above.

My math professor's name is Dr. Judy Taylor. She teaches my college algebra class.

Patience of a saint this woman.

We speak of Job's patience and how he suffered however, he never had to teach older students how to factor.

She's the only reason I haven't.

Love you Dr. Judy

Thursday, April 17, 2008

White Knuckle Rafting

I have a confession to make.

I have really blown it this year.

Between school, life, and my own recalcitrant nature, I have completely let my recovery fall by the wayside like a hitch-hiker dissapating in the rearview mirror.

Lack of program + not being a part of something greater than myself has left me bailing water from a cardboard boat in the middle of some giant rapids.

My reaction to life in most cases is panic. And I have found myself hiding from me and my God in an attempt to somehow make it right. Of course this does nothing but worsen the problem.

Life is hidden with rocky shoals and I have done nothing less than chunked my paddle overboard. My knuckles seem to be permanently white.

I have finally recognized this and am taking steps (get it "steps") to rectify where I have gone wrong.

Anyone have a tow-rope?

I know who does.


Friday, April 4, 2008

Go Speed Go

If I close my eyes for a moment I can stir a childhood memory.

Spinning music, an opening song and Speed Racer racing around the track in the venerable Mach Five. Other racers try to take him out but only succeed in flipping themselves over the guard rail and into oblivion.

Speed contended with such enemies as the car acrobatic team, the mammoth car made of gold, and some nasty arabs in the great desert race.
I remember every function and sound effect as if I were watching it right now.

How cool is this? They made it into a movie. Here is a link to the trailer.

This is going to be a good summer to eat a lot of popcorn I think.
Not only do we have the Speed Racer movie to look forward to but: Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull, Forbidden City, starring Jackie Chan and Jet Li: Batman-The Dark Knight, Ironman, and last but not least the new Ben Stiller Movie Tropical Thunder.
Escapism seems to be the rule this summer. If we can afford to drive to the theatre.
Happy Viewing!

Monday, March 31, 2008


Oh, My, Gosh
Can there be any bigger pain in the butt than College Algebra?

If anybody would like a moniter with pencil stuck through it please let me know.

Ebay might take it as an oddity, maybe I could market t-shirt pictures of it.


When I get through this it will only be to God's Glory.

There is no way I am getting through this on my own.


Thursday, March 27, 2008

Spring Again

Oh man, what an awesome day. Seventy something degrees, the wind gusting to twenty miles per-hour, and crystal clear sunshine on a poofy cloud day.

I to want walk barefoot in the fresh grass, and just sit with the sun in my face.

I praise God for the life giving sunshine and the renewing of my spirit.

Each year there comes a time for me when when I realize, winter is over, Spring is here, and there is no more seasonal depression.

Winter gives me the blahs.

Like electroshock therapy, last year's traumas are magically wiped away. Fortunately. I get to retain most of my personality.


Tuesday, March 25, 2008


Sadly, I have been tackeled by a bad case of writers block lately. No amount of strain on my brain has allowed me to post anything.

This has been increasingly detrimental to my educational career. I have just been able to pull enough text out of my grey matter to get by.

Spring break was a great experience for me. I was able to go on my first mission trip. Nine of us set out from the LeTourneau campus for the red dust giant, canyon country of North-Western Arizona.

Our mission was to repair some plumbing for the bathrooms on the church propertyand to sand and revarnish twenty-one pews.

We were blessed to spend time with the Navajo. Each day we were up with the sun, as it would curiously peek its head up over the mesas.

The group I traveled with were a great bunch of people. All were 21 and under except for the faculty advisor who had me by six years. (I wasn't the oldest!)

I was struck by two things while gone.

Those who know me best understand that I am just a hyper guy; pretty much spastic.

The Navajo we met were so calm.

Arizona time is slow time. Church property is fast time. The church is one hour ahead. The state does not recognize daylight savings time, but the church does.

The culture of the Navajo is so simplistic. Everything is what it is. I don't think I can properly put it into words. They are a beautiful minded society.

The kids I traveled with were so awesome. They were smart, funny, and serious about their commitment to Jesus. There was a true light shining from each of them, untainted, or jaded yet by the world around them. I felt a joy as my personal cynicism melted while I was gone.

I found myself wanting to be untarnished by the world, and for a while, in that moment my childlike purity returned.

I'll never forget that.


Sunday, January 27, 2008


I've been thinking this morning.

I know, dangerous eh?

Some of you can smell the smoke coming from my ears.

My family and I are headed off to church today for the first time in a month two.

Before the gasps and the judgment, let me explain.

When my family and I came to the Tyler, Texas, area for me to start school I was on a high. I was Mr. Recovery, Mr. Church, Mr. on his way to become a pastor by going to University.

Did I act this way? Nope. In true passive aggressive fashion when I did not recieve the welcome I felt I deserved I backed off. Kept my toe in like the co-dependent I am and ran like a scared rabbit the first chance I got.

Throw in my bi-polar, self-esteem issues and I had effectively isolated myself like a smoker in California.

School and my Job were different. I had to be there everyday. The longer I have stayed the more friends I have made. (ugh, I didn't mean to rhyme.)

So we are off to church today.

With true broken humility.

I might even wear a tie.


PS. A few changes, I have created another blog, Nausea. I havn't felt right posting worldly stuff on Hallelujahs. News, politics, etc. Please check it out. Helen, I will be disapointed if you don't call me on my stuff over there, You can reach it here.

Fellow bloggers, if you would like a link posted on the new blog let me know. Since its orientation is different than Hallelujahs I wanted to ask first.

Love you guys


Friday, January 11, 2008

Israel 2008

I have been offered the opportunity of a lifetime! As many of you know I am studying Christian Ministry at LeTourneau University to become a pastor. My future goal is to follow where the Lord leads me, and reach out to the poor, marginalized, and addicted.

I have been offered a slot in a class called physical settings of the Bible, a ten day trip to Israel that counts for three hours of upper Bible credit, and will be a wonderful addition to my education. It will give me a better understanding of how great our God is by walking in His very footsteps.
As my Biblical Department head Dr. Scott Hummel told me “I hope you will be able to travel with me to Israel in May. It will revolutionize your understanding of the Bible, and it will be a trip of a lifetime.”

This will be no picnic joyride. Our group will be gone for ten days. From early
dawn until late night we will tour Galilee, Jerusalem, Beershiva, En Gedi, Gath, Capernaum, and many more places.
Dr. Hummel and our guide Mishi have promised “we will wear you out.” Journals and research paper progress must be turned in daily. In addition, each class member will be required to do an onsite presentation before the entire troup of students, guides, and professors (intimidating to say the least!)

I need your help.
Financial aid is helping to pay a portion of the cost but as a college student soon to be working another job, I am not making the money I used to. Please consider sponsoring me for this trip. The total cost is $3299, this includes airfare, travel in Israel, tips, hotels, three meals a day, and entrance fees.
I am seeking Sponsors who would be willing to contribute $100 to $200 dollars towards this wonderful educational experience of a lifetime, yet any amount will suffice.
The benefits are unimaginable and will contribute mightily to my call to ministry.

Please pray, to see, feel, and hear whether you are led to help out.
All funds must be received by January 28.
Checks should be made out to LeTourneau University with my name and Israel in the "for" section. Please note whether you would like your contribution to be tax-deductible. Please send checks to.

LETU/Larry Hicks
Po Box 7001 #1876
Longview, Texas 75607

Thank you for your consideration and may God bless you.

Snap Shots

Get Free Shots from Snap.com