Terrible odds isn't it. I was determined to be the one out of my ten.
I have seen them come and go. The wise, the noobs, the old and young. From felons and cops, to the indigent and wealthy. All have one thing in common, a struggle with addiction. A struggle with life's hurts, habits and hang-ups.
Why one and ten? Why such a refusal to surrender? How many times do we need our butts kicked? How many times do we need to lose our wives, families, jobs, homes, etc? How much guilt and shame do we need to heep on our bodies and souls? When do we stop adding to Christ's pain on the Cross? Must we twist the nails? Shove the crown down harder?
I have found my salvation in my Lord's Grace. Not, in a mindless desire to scrupulously avoid the subject of Jesus Christ in an N/A meeting. I was clean in N/A and A/A but my recovery didn't occur until I really surrendered to Christ's care and control. Once I did everything else came together. In the N/A home group I was a part of two years ago I don't recognize but three people. The ones I do? True program believers, but none I would especially say have any joy in their life. I firmly believe it is because they don't get the whole "god thing". (I am rolling my eyes at that one.) I hate it when they say that. It reeks of sarcasm.
Three and a half years ago we had nothing and and especially no hope. I want this recovery thing to be like a Christmas present. You want it all. You don't open a present a tear at a time. You don't throw it away before you open it. You rip it open and ooo and aww at the coolness of your gift.
I owe my life to God's Grace and Christ's death on the Cross. My position and my success is a direct result of my surrender to his will. I have to remember that. I can never lose sight of where I have been. I remember the shaking and baking the days after I entered rehab. I remember going to court to get three more days before the Sheriff showed up to move you out.
If you are out there and are struggling. If you want something more than the life you have. If you are tired of living in abject misery, there is another way. It's not the route of self, of nature, the doornob or some direction on a map. It is in the direct intervention of Christ's Love and Grace in our lives. We have to take action. We have to want to be saved. We have to surrender.
Write me if you want to know how.