How in the heck do you get your writing/blogging juices flowing again? I have been writing here for almost six years and I have stalled out big time. Its not even like I have not had anything to blog about. Lets see, there is my accident and subsequent recovery. I graduated from LeTourneau U, worked at a county museum, and now manage a restaurant. My life is chock full of amazing anecdotes and funky surprises. I can't seem to get the writing bug back. Any suggestions?

Recovery Never Stops

Wow, how cool is this? I am blogging mobile. I have the Blogger app which allows me to write from my EVO  phone. awesome!

It has been a while since I have written and much has changed since I almost died in the accident. Now that I can blog by phone I can write about it, and I will.

I guess I will never really stop being in recovery in one way or another.

Ugh!

Larry

The Litter Box of Life

We used to have a cat. Her name was Fancy. I was begged into it by my then five year old Alexis, and my wife, Lisa. I thought of their happiness verses the inevietable duties that would follow. Cleaning the litter box. After careful consideration, (all it took was the desperate looks on their faces that would have melted the heart of the abomidable snowman) I relented, under one condition, they would be responsible for feeding her, and changing out the litterbox. A job that is disgusting, and as smelly as a porta-can at a five day Lollapalooza concert.

Eventually, it became a battle of wills as to who would clean out the litter box. It became, a competition to see who would give in first, my wife or me. Niether of us wanted anything to do with that box. In doing so it became an eyesore and the smell would knock a buzzard off an outhouse. The poor cat was doing all she could to cover up her mess. Eventually she would move outside her box and go on the carpet.

Before you cat-lovers start gasping in anger, I know some of you have been here before. Finally, one of us (usually me) would change it out.

With my background being recovery, it occurs to me that individually, our lives can be like a giant litterbox. We are all sinners, and I imagine that our sins are that foul smelling to God. We run through life filling up our litter box with sin and because of the stench we don't want to deal with it. So it continues to rise until it spills over into other peoples lives; spouses, sons and daughters, parents, and friends.

James 5:16, Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.

How smelly is your litterbox? What are you doing to clean it out? When life gets crazy and all bejiggidy are you taking a look at your part in it? Do you have someone you trust that you can confess your sins to?

Do you have a nice large hefty trash bag to drop your litter in that won't break, so you can get it to the big can in the garage with the snap tight lid? God has a dumpster big enough for the worst mess if you will let him have it.

As for Fancy, she turned out to be a long haired cat that began to wreak havok on my daughters asthma. We had to find her a new home.

Now the competition is over cleaning out the mini fish tank. Ooo, I sense another analogy here.

Nevermind, the last one was bad enough.

Larry

The Dry Place

Life is amazing, and so hard to figure out at times.
Grace is a mystery and hard to accept.

The last two years or so have been so interestingly hard. Like driving on a road in the desert and occasionally stopping at a rest area in an oasis. Its a nice break but once you have visited the bathroom and seen what the vending machines have to offer, it is time to move on to finish your journey.

When Lisa and I took the plunge and moved to East Texas so I could go to school, we had no Idea what was in store for us.

The desert can be beautiful for its scenery but hey, people get heatstroke.

Times have been hard, and I'm not talking about the current "economic crisis". It is difficult to make a living, raise a family, and take 16 hours full time at school. We have been in survival mode, and when you are in survival mode in the desert the only thing you worry about is getting to the next water hole.

However, God has been using this time to prune us. To strip off the things that weigh us down so we can run the race faster and with more endurance. And as a former pastor of mine once said, pruning hurts.

Lately things have been changing. We are now living on campus in a married student apartment. Rent is so cheap with all bills paid. I scaled back a bit on my hours at school, and I'm not having to work so much. God has clicked everthing into place like a budding engineer makes a Lincoln Log House.

I've been looking over my shoulder so long that its kind of freaking me out.

But thats a good thing

O' God you are my God,

Earnestly I seek you;

My soul thirsts for you,

my body longs for you,

in a dry and weary land

where there is no water.

Psalm 63-V1

It makes the rest stop so much sweeter.

Larry

So Long Self

Ahhh the sweet feelings of spiritual awaking. Flowers in the spring, fresh falling snow in the winter. Sunset on a summers eve. Recognizing your primary character defect?

Priceless.




I am a selfish person. There I have said it. I have admitted it to the world. The mask has fallen, scales have dropped from my eyes.

Since recovery started for me four and a half years ago I have known I was self-centered or else why would I have drank, used drugs, people and possesions? The exact depth of my selfish self- seeking self (Please allow myself to introduce my--self.) I never really understood until today.


From my hard partying days to my recovery, delusions of my own grandeur abounded.


I have always focused on the exterior, the symptoms, drugs and alchohol, lust.


Me me me, I'm a victim. Oh my gosh stuff just keeps falling into place.


If only mom and dad hadn't done this. If only my friend hadn't done that.


Sheesh, is there anything greater than the freedom of God leading you to self realization? Is there anything greater than Christ doing for us what we could not do for ourselves?


None of this would have been possible with out Jesus. None of this would have been possible without my doing a thorough inventory (step 4) and confessing to God and my sponsor the exact nature of my wrongs (step 5).

People choke on these two steps. They would rather run screaming from the room than face their wrongs. I certainly know I procrastinated for ever.

I say, God brought me to it when he knew I was ready.


See what I said, selfish


I leave you with the lyrics of one of the greatest recovery songs ever.

My song.

So Long Self - Mercy Me

Well if I come across a little bit distant.

It's just because I am. Things just seem to feel
a little bit differentYou understand. Believe it or not but life is not
apparently About me anyways But I have met the One who really is worthy So let
me say.

So long, self

Well, it's been fun, but I have found somebody else. So long, self There's just no room for two So you are gonna have to move So long, self Don't take this wrong but you are wrong for me, farewell Oh well, goodbye, don't cry So long, self.

Stop right there because I know what you're thinking.

But no we can't be friends And even though I know your heart is breaking This has to end And come to think of it the blame for all of this Simply falls on me For wanting something more in life than all of this Can't you see?

Don't feel so bad (don't feel so bad)

There'll be better days (there'll be better days)

Don't go away mad (but by all means)

Just go away, go away.

So long, self

Well, it's been fun, but I have found somebody else So long, self There's just no room for two So you are gonna have to move So long, self Don't take this wrong but you are wrong for me, farewell Oh well, goodbye, don't cry

So long Self

Larry

Life, Annoying Ain't It?

O my gosh, is there anything more frustrating than helping an add kid to do a book report? Especially when it is their first one and they have no idea how to put concepts together?

How about having one of your step kids move back in after they broke up with their boyfriend?

Even better! How about having your other daughter who is over nine months pregnant do nothing but gripe and moan!

Let's not forget the other five girls in the house whining, fighting, and making messes.

AAARRRGHHHH! Kumbaya anyone? Ohmm Ohhmmm Ohhmmmm, incense?.

Let us not forget my part in this. I have been calm, cool and collected right?

Whatever dude! I have added to this chaos by repeatedly going from zero to 60 in like a nano-second every 20 minutes or so. I'm as regular as old faithful.

Serenity prayer? Forget it. Call my sponser? too aggravated. Leave the house for a bit? Wife already did. (smart girl) So I'm Stuck.

Oh well, deep breath. Ahhhh, it'l do in a pinch. Thank God I don't do like I used to do. Smoke, drink, use drugs.

I am truly blessed that my worst days now are so much better than my best day was back then.

What is that love is patient verse?

Life is good.

Larry