White Knuckle Rafting

I have a confession to make.

I have really blown it this year.

Between school, life, and my own recalcitrant nature, I have completely let my recovery fall by the wayside like a hitch-hiker dissapating in the rearview mirror.

Lack of program + not being a part of something greater than myself has left me bailing water from a cardboard boat in the middle of some giant rapids.

My reaction to life in most cases is panic. And I have found myself hiding from me and my God in an attempt to somehow make it right. Of course this does nothing but worsen the problem.

Life is hidden with rocky shoals and I have done nothing less than chunked my paddle overboard. My knuckles seem to be permanently white.

I have finally recognized this and am taking steps (get it "steps") to rectify where I have gone wrong.

Anyone have a tow-rope?

I know who does.

Larry

Incarnational Ministry

School is really incredible. I get to learn and be spritually fed at the same time. I have already learned new concepts in ministry that just boggle my mind.

Incarnational ministry is nothing new. I have had snippets of the concept, and in the back of my head had it rolling around but could never make it cohesive. It is still rambling around up there and always will be.

My thoughts so far on what I have learned. Incarnational ministry is what Jesus did. The word becoming flesh. Jesus basically went to the people, he met them where and how they lived.


This is what we should be practicing today except we wall ourselves in to our churches and do "outreach", which is good but, not enough. We are essentially building walls around our comfort zones.

We go to church get our worship and lesson time. Maybe we go wednesday night and have food, fellowship, and fun. We tend to each other's needs spiritually and physically. What about the rest of the world?

Remember, my thinking on this is in the infant stage, and nothing I am saying here is new. I am fleshing out my thoughts. Some of you will say, cool! I never thought of this and some of you will go DUH!

Most churches I have attended or seen operate on a build it or lose it principle. There is always expansion. They construct new gyms, worship centers, nurseries or kidzones. These things are cool and they show that christians can fellowship and have fun outside of this nutty sinful world. However, how does this satisfy the great commandment?

I have no idea. I haven't gotten to that class yet.

Celebrate Recovery is the same. We post flyers, get in the newspapers have events but we are still drawing people not going to them. CR prison ministries do just that but for a lot of local churches it is attraction that brings folks in. Sometimes people bring friends, and we get to fellowship in small groups about our hurts habits and hang-ups. How does this "take it to the streets like Jesus did?


I am not speaking of missions overseas. Most of these brave, called individuals are trained to go amongst the people and cultures of where they are at. (did I just use the word amongst?)


What about here in the great USA?


How do we get to that guy who goes to work, comes home, and plops down in front of the Tv or X-Box? He never sees the light of day.

What about the lost woman who's reason for living is to find companionship that never works out, or the lost who know they aren't, living right but have no idea of an alternative other than Oprah, or Dr. Phil.

It is a culture of self, they see nothing but what is in front of their faces. There is no hope. I know because I lived like this for years. Finding solace in the party that never satisfies.


How do we take it to them?



Larry

Happy Fathers Day

What a day, did I mention I got a new backpack? It's a Hurley skater pack. Cool huh? I needed a new pack for my biking. My stepdaughter Tara got it for me. It even has straps to hold a skateboard to it.

Oh yeah, Can't wait to strap on a new stick. Sha right, like totally bogus man, like I need some more grindage on my spine.

I know I know, I am totally uncool.

My other stepdaughter Theresa bought me the Lord of The Rings online. It is my new preeciousss! Hope I have time to really play it.

Lexie my sweet nine year old soon to be ten got me some cool t-shirts.

I got a lot of loving from my girls today. That was better than any gift.

You know the song "Freedom" by Darrell Evans? I sang it at church today to the Iworship video. All my girls held up signs while I was singing that said We love Dad, You rock dad, etc. etc.

My best friend Mike sent me an Email today sort of nagging at me as to why I hadn't done a Father's day post. He thought maybe the recent drama with my family was affecting me or something. Two weeks ago it would have.

I saw my dad at church today and gave him a great big hug. Actually picked him up off the ground. (See, excercise works after surgery) Told him I loved him, and gave him a kiss. I love my dad.

See I am learning In my (oh no! I can here you groaning, not more program!) Sixth step what the true extent of my character defects are. My last post I spoke of my discovery of being truly selfish. (Like anyone else couldn't tell.) I am holding on to some resentments harder than I should. What better day to start relieving them than Father's Day?

What a blessing our Heavenly Father Has given us. Did you tell Him Happy Father's Day? I did, not for what He has done for me. But for who He is.

Thank you to everyone who stopped by to wish me a Happy Father's Day. Y'all made it complete!

Larry

Heavy Duty

Therefore confess your sins to one another and pray for each other so that you may be healed.
James 5:16

Ever have one of those days where you get a bunch of stuff off your chest and exhaustion sets in? Mental drainage? It s nothing a good run or bike ride wouldn't cure but I havn't the energy to get up, get going.

First Therapy, therapy days always drain me. It doesn't matter whether I go early or later in the afternoon. Dealing with your issues can really wear you out. My therapist hit me with some good stuff. "If every thing was perfect with your family how would your life be?" I rattled off a few answers, "work would be better." "anxiety would be gone" etc.

She then smacked the daylights out of me. "Wow, you sure are giving them a lot of power eh?" Nice huh? If she had been my sponsor I might have retorted with a colorful metaphor. She however is a proffessional and I have to give her her due. Great Logic there. I am stealing it to use on my sponsees.

Second, fith step. This is the step where you process all that stuff you put in your fourth step. Anxietys, fears, resentments, good stuff, bad stuff all on paper in columns where you can see your part in each of those areas. It is important to keep it balanced. A good sponsor will make sure you do.

I have done my fourth and fith step before. Having no one else at the time I used my pastor to help me through it. Honestly I left a bunch out. I told him some juicy stuff but some? Uh uh.

Man, what a burden. It took me a month to write it. and almost a month to set the time to read it. The first time was easier. Started on a Friday and finished on Monday. Met with my pastor on Wednesday. It was not easy by any means. Neither was today. I hit my sponsor with stuff I had never told a soul. Not even God. I walked away relieved. Shaking like a unbalanced washing machine, but relieved.

Jason, my sponsor says I'll feel better tomorrow. I feel better now.

Freed from the chains of my own guilt and shame.

Still pooped.



Larry

The 12 Steps and Their Biblical Comparisons Part II

Step One
We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable

I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.
Romans 7:18

Step Two

We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose.
Philippians 2:13

Step Three
We made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God — this is your spiritual act of worship.
Romans 12:1

Step Four
We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the LORD. Lamentations 3:40

Step Five
We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.
James 5:16

Step Six
We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
James 4:10

Step Seven

Humbly asked Him to remove all our shortcomings.

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:9

Step Eight

We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

Do to others as you would have them do to you.
Luke 6:31

Step Nine

We made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.
Matthew 5:23-24

Step 10
We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!
1 Corinthians 10:12

Step 11

We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and power to carry that out.

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly.
Colossians 3:16

Step 12

Having had a spiritual experience as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.

Galatians 6:1