Life in the Connected Lane

First off, too funny, the picture of the Blackberry Curve I am using I totally stole from fellow blogger Shirley Buxton. I didn't meant to but I was googling Curve pics and voila, her page came up. So gotta give credit where credit is due. Plus, her entry is an amazing read.

Finally I have a way to stay connected. With my new BlackBerry Curve there is E-mail, Facebook, the net, and phone; most recently I am a new fledgling junior blue bird on twitter. So, now what?

Don't know

Ain't life a hoot?

Larry

Magic Shoes

Its amazing to me how we take shoes for granted. They can literally make or break a person's workday. Mine recently died, they split at the heel and toe. Cheapskate that I am I decide to wait a few days to get a new pair. Not a good Idea.

Especially since I am on my feet eight to ten hours a day either waiting tables or tending bar.

I literally started having lower back spasms. The little man with the cheese grater on my spine was back. My feet hurt like maniacs in a padded room, and my shoulders and neck muscles started cramping. Of course observant fellow that I am didn't put two and two together until last night.

I went and bought me some new Wal-mart Magic shoes!

We'll see how today goes.

Larry

Around that Time

Holy cow, I went back and read all of my blog posts from beginning to end. Three things really stood out to me.

1. I was really inspired.

2. It was easy to see the slide into and out of recovery.

3. Its been four years since I started Hallelujahs.

This is amazing to me. At times I have felt like my blog was an unattended and ungroomed pet. I am so glad to have a record of where I was, where I went, and where I am going.

I feel ashamed that my level of spirituality is nowhere near where it was. The previous post explains some of that. I have developed a blogging routine now. I get up earlier, have coffee, listen to music and just write. It feels pretty good. Next up, visiting my neighbors again!

Larry

The Journey

Once a man has made that first move, once he has cast off his moorings, his associations, broken with his school, his church, his village store, and his relatives, it is easy to continue on. It is always easier to travel than to stop.

As long as one travels toward a promised land, the dream is there, to stop means to face the reality, and it is easier to dream than to realize the dream.

Louis L'amour

In the two years since I cast off my moorings and came to school I have found it hard to connect and to put into practice what I have learned.

Finding a church.

Finding a Celebrate Recovery to get involved with.

Finding a ministry to become a part of.

Friendships have been real but semi-shallow.

Focus. (I wanted to throw in another word that begins with F.)

My little family; Lisa my wife, and Alexis my daughter, changed everything to come up here to LeTourneau, and it has been a blessing, and a strange fogged, surreal dream. Our lives are better in most ways but shaky in others.

I have learned much but am adrift. Am I afraid to live the dream? I am realizing it but not living it.

Is it time to stop and face reality, that my calling is going to be messy and dangerous?

Engage or stay safe?

Larry

Where is it?

Oh where oh where, Has my Creativity gone? Oh where oh where can it be?

Nice huh? Thats all I could come up with this morning.

Have to blame my wife, she didn't tell me we were out of coffee creamer.

Its a proven fact that Coffee Mate Original Flavor in the liquid form, has it all over milk 2-1.

At least I can have some cereal.

Hope everyone is having a great day! It has been beautiful here in Longview all week.

Blessings!

Larry

Backed Up

I have this issue. You could call it an OCD thing but it is this quirk that I have had as long as I can remember.

I hate eating in a restaurant and having my back against the wall. Like an aging gunfighter from the wild west, it gives me the creeps to not see who is coming and going.

There is no rational reason for this. It is what it is. My wife always has to sit on the side of the booth not facing the door. Mabe I read too many stories of how Wild Bill Hickok died or something when I was a kid.

So today I am watching the history channel, they have this program where they do a segment on all 50 states. The portion I caught was on North Carolina. They spoke of tobacco, banking capitols, and how Greensboro was the beginning of the sit-in movement during the civil rights era.

These four African American guys walked into a segregated diner in Greensboro, bought some school supplies, and sat down at the lunch counter and asked to be served. They were asked to leave and they wouldn't budge.

The narrator of the show I was watching said the sherriff stood behind them and smacked his billy club over and over in his hand. It hit me that these guys were some of the bravest people I had ever heard of, and my flesh crawled at the thought of not being able to see what was going on behind me; and what must have been going through those guys minds.

The result? A huge following grew behind the sit-ins and eventually Woolworths desegregated.

Felt kind of foolish after I watched that show.

I think next time I'll sit facing the back of where-ever I am eating.

Larry

Out With the Old

Wow, its been a while hasn't it?

I must say this semester has been brutal. My time has been limited and the stress of writing papers, and memorizing Greek paradigms has sapped my strength like a child and a pixie straw.

It is good to be back.

I have learned great things this semester, heck this whole year.

A sampling,

1. How to write a pure research exegesis paper.

2. I articulated my Framework of Youth Ministry (Helping hurting youth)

3. And learned How Greek grammer shows us the proper translation of the Bible

4. How intricately cool the human body is on the microscopic label and that there is no way that we crawled out of the primordial ooze.

Awesome eh?

However I find my thoughts are still scattered like shotgun pellets chasing skeet, and enormous discipline is required to get me through.

Over the next few weeks I am going to revamp and retune this blog.

The appearance will change as I bring it up to date, and I will be writing more.

I hope to return to a daily posting.

To all of you out there who have hung on and kept checking every day thank you!

Larry

My Mother-in-Law

I know, I know, I said I would start posting at least once a week. But as usual the best laid plans do not always come to fruition.

My mother-in-law, Aletha, had a massive stroke about 12 days ago. All three of her arteries were blocked and she suffered massive damage. My wife has been traveling back and forth to Alexandria, Louisiana and we have been juggling job, school, and baby sitting.

I ask for your prayers. Right now the care she is recieving at the hospital itself is not so great, and Aletha is in a lot of pain, and she is suffering. Please pray for her.

Also, please pray for My wife Lisa, her sisters Gail, Carol, and Debbie, and her Brother Bubba. This is a really tough time for all of them. Let God use this time for his purpose.

The other issue is that my laptop died, and for the first time in as long as I can remember I do not have a computer. It will take some time to buy a new one.

So for now I am relying on the computers at school, which is no problem but access is going to be sporadic.

I will post when I can.

Please pray for Aletha, and our family, for peace, strength, and wisdom in this time.

Love you all

Larry

The Dry Place

Life is amazing, and so hard to figure out at times.
Grace is a mystery and hard to accept.

The last two years or so have been so interestingly hard. Like driving on a road in the desert and occasionally stopping at a rest area in an oasis. Its a nice break but once you have visited the bathroom and seen what the vending machines have to offer, it is time to move on to finish your journey.

When Lisa and I took the plunge and moved to East Texas so I could go to school, we had no Idea what was in store for us.

The desert can be beautiful for its scenery but hey, people get heatstroke.

Times have been hard, and I'm not talking about the current "economic crisis". It is difficult to make a living, raise a family, and take 16 hours full time at school. We have been in survival mode, and when you are in survival mode in the desert the only thing you worry about is getting to the next water hole.

However, God has been using this time to prune us. To strip off the things that weigh us down so we can run the race faster and with more endurance. And as a former pastor of mine once said, pruning hurts.

Lately things have been changing. We are now living on campus in a married student apartment. Rent is so cheap with all bills paid. I scaled back a bit on my hours at school, and I'm not having to work so much. God has clicked everthing into place like a budding engineer makes a Lincoln Log House.

I've been looking over my shoulder so long that its kind of freaking me out.

But thats a good thing

O' God you are my God,

Earnestly I seek you;

My soul thirsts for you,

my body longs for you,

in a dry and weary land

where there is no water.

Psalm 63-V1

It makes the rest stop so much sweeter.

Larry

Christmas Break!

I have to say,

My butt has been kicked. I have no idea how I made it through this last semester at school, and at life in general.

It has been tough to say the least. I passed all of my classes, wooo hooo!

Financially it has been tight and my internet access has been sporadic. But there is light at the end of the tunnel!

My family and I are moving to the campus! Bills will be much cheaper, grades will go up, and driving time will be nil.

Thanks for all of your prayers, I could not have done it without them.

I will be back to posting at least once a week.

Blessings and Grace to all!

Larry

Prayer Needed

I know I have not posted for a while.

Things have been crazy.

I have been working 40 to 50 hours a week and trying to maintain sixteen hours at school, plus taking care of my family. The stress has become unbelievable.

To top it off we have been struggling financially. It seems if its not one thing its another. Mechanical issues with our vehicles, and now our landlord is not renewing our lease. So we will have to move sometime in the next thirty days.

ARRRGH!!!

Please pray for our family; for peace, for patience, direction. And for a breakthrough financially.

I know its all going to work out, but gosh its hard.

We feel trapped between the waves and the rocks.

Larry

Back to Campus!

I cannot believe it is that time again. Back to the campus I go for year two of school.

Next week I'll be back to learning. Last year by the Grace of God and some awesome professors I made it through Algebra, and English; luckily I didn't have to diagram any sentences. (whew!)

This year I have new challenges.

Elementary Greek (reading the bible in the raw)

Romans

Intro to Philosophy

Current Issues in Youth Ministry

Physical Science

Pretty cool huh?

I am excited about each class. Monday I have to drive over and pick up my books.

Keep me in your prayers

Please also pray for some of my coworkers: All are lost and need hope.

Lisa, Joe, Gina, Matt, and Nathanial.

May the Grace of God be with you all.

Larry

An Opportunity Down the Drain

I was listening to the radio on the way to work this afternoon and I heard a story about a woman counselor who was fired for not taking on a woman who was struggling in a same sex relationship. The full story is here.

The controversy is starting to boil.

My thoughts on the matter went something like this. Wow, this woman really missed an opportunity to be a witness and show the love of Jesus to this person she refused to counsel.

Jesus came to save the world not, to condemn it.

What would have happened if Jesus had turned the woman at the well away?

Larry

Jekyll and Hyde Christian

Why is it that after a spiritual high there is a spiritual low? Great behavior followed by bad attitudes and a serious lack of patience and understanding?

Is this me? or is it everybody?

If its just me, I get it. I tend to be a nest of radical reversals. Bi-polar anyone?

Sunday my wife and I went to a new church a co-worker attends.

It was awesome!

For the first time in a year or more I felt the true blessing of the spirit. I couldn't decide whether to laugh, cry or sing, so I managed a mishmash of gutteral, goofy grins, and semi-tears. Despite the conflicting emotions it was an awesome feeling.

My wife and daughter walked out chattering like magpies about how wonderful it was. Excited, for once to get involved in a church.

Everthing was about praising God. From the opening music to the offering it was all about the Lord.

It was not about which deacon's turn it was to pray that week, or the youth pastor having time to give the announcements.

It was awesome!

So what happens next? I get to work and promptly start chewing a guys butt for not doing what he was supposed to be doing.

And not in a constructively positive way. Granted the guy was annoying, running his mouth, whiniing, and being a jerk. But I could have totally handled it much better. There were several choice words I could have left off saying.

Oooo I'll celebrate the blessing I received in church by being an ass.

Nice one

Larry

Beauty and Prayer

The last few months or so I have been stumbling into friends from High school, either through Facebook or email updates.

Its awsome in a way but strange too. Some of my old friends I spent 12 years with from Kindygarten on.

The great thing about it is that I can pass on stuggles that need prayer.

Heres one, from Tom Hudson. Please keep his family in your hearts, minds, and prayers. I am posting his email unedited. This is for Baby Sarah Felicity.

I am sorry to be so late in announcing the birth of our precious baby. On May 14th our little Sarah Felicity was born at full term.

She was only 4 lbs 5 oz and 18 in long. She is a very sweet little girl little Sarah has a condition called Trisomy 18 which is a terminal condition. Only 5-10% of babies born with this genetic condition will live to see their first birthday.

By the grace of our dear Lord and the love and care of her family, Sarah is surprising everyone by how well she is doing. I am writing this because Sarah needs our prayers.

In particular, Lena asks for prayers that our little baby will nurse or be strong enough to feed from a bottle on her own. If Sarah is given a feeding tube, the hope is that it will be temporary. The feeding tubes will sometimes cause fatal infections in these infants, so nursing would be a really huge blessing.

Sarah is absolutely adorable, and Lena’s care for her has been remarkable. Along with caring for our 6 children Lena has been going through these last few months on very little sleep and needs prayers, her strength has been remarkable. This is a link to a youtube video about a baby boy with Trisomy 18.

Please ask anyone you know for prayers as this is an incurable disorder and we are praying for a miracle.

God Bless,

Tom Hudson

Please put the Hudson family on all of your prayerlists.

Larry

Back in the Fold

It has been a long year since my move up here to Tyler.

A blessed year with school but also a year in the wilderness.

I went from being completely grounded with Celebrate Recovery, church, and a plethora of family and friends, to wandering in the forest without a compass.

Tonight, I found my new CR home and it feels great.

I haven't posted much because there has been no inspiration. This is a blog on my recovery right?

How can I write if there hasn't been much recovery?

I haven't gone backwards but I haven't moved forward either.

Heres to the future.

Larry

3 AM Conviction

recently I have been plagued by a new phenomenon, insomnia. Work is going well but I don't usually get home till midnight. By the time I wind down enough to go to bed its two in the morning.

No biggie, I take a nap before I go to work and I feel fine.

Simple, except that lately I crawl in bed, doze for a bit, and then I am wide awake.

Sermons start rattling around in my head like a deranged pinball bouncing off of colorful lights. Ping ping, I toss, ping ping, I turn. ARRRGH!

It has occurred to me over the last few days that this is the only time My ADHD brain is still enough to know God.

So, I am guessing I need an outlet, and since I have no pulpit as yet, this blog will have to suffice. I have been negligent in posting because to be honest, I have not been inspired. Well, it seems I now have inspiration in spades.

After tonight I will begin posting the three am chronicles, Whatever Is rattling around in my head that keeps me awake will now be post fodder for my blog.

I'm thinking along the lines of Field of Dreams If I post it, readers will come, and the message he wants out there will be read.

I am under no illusions that all of my best posts were inspired by God, and that for the last several months or so I have not been listening very well.

So welcome to Hallelujahs, 3 am Chronicles or messages or whatever catchy title I can come up with.

Larry

Alone In the Dark

i had new person comment on one of my posts the other day about being back in the real word.

It was reassuring. I may be back in the real world but God is with me too.

As I bounced over to her blog, Supernatural Christian, I read the following post Called "Be Assured". In it she speaks of her sensitivity to evil in the world, and other people.

She is an awesome writer and a bit trippy.

Anyway I digress.

Tonight at work I snuck out to get a break from the hustle and bustle of closing the restaurant.

To be honest, I had to have a smoke. (Just keeping it real, yes I still struggle with the nicotine fiend.)

So I am sitting out there, and one of the guys comes out and pulls his car up close to where I am sitting. Now I am tired, my feet are hurting like a hammer whose seen to much action, and this jumps out after turning his stereo up loud so I can here the song that has been running in his head all day.

This cat is a good guy at work, does his job, doesn't gripe too much and he's an admitted bi-sexual. He's got that underground disco/techno lifestyle going. and for those familiar with it, you will understand what I am talking about.

I spent a lot of time in my past drinking and drugging in all kinds of bars: gay, straight, country, etc. Each one has their own subculture, of druggies and drunks.

So all of a sudden this trashy song starts blaring, thump, thump, thump. Bass and high-hat tripping right along. This guys starts lip-synching the lyrics to impress me with this song.

To be honest, I have heard worse, and at one time in my life I probably would have thought the song hilarious. However, all of a sudden my blood ran cold with fear and anxiety.

In my mind I started praying for the Spirit of the Lord, and it came to me that I needed to get myself back inside.

So I told the guy, I gotta get back and finish cleaning up, and rather abruptly went back inside.

On the drive home I thought about what had happened, and I thought about Given55's blogpost.

There was an evil presence floating around that moment, that second, this guy pulled up and cranked out his music.

It really freaked me out. I struggle with my own garbage and sin every day. But thank God I have the Holy Spirit inside, protecting me, admonishing me, saving me.

This guy didn't have that, he had something else, and in that moment I felt it.

Pray for this guy who I'll call Joe. (generic enough?)

Larry

Blast From the Past

You know, they say the past will always catch up with you. What goes around comes around.

They tell you to be careful what you put on the internet because it may, cost you job.

Little did I know a secret documentary I made in the late 80's with my best friend Michael Wilson would one day find the light of day.

We took off of a journey of epic proportions. In search of the ultimate big-foot, Elvis Presley.

Did we find him?

You decide.





Larry

Welcome to the Real World

Oh, My, Gosh.

I am back in the real world.

It seems I have led quite the sheltered life these last few years. I have been so wrapped up in Church and Celebrate Recovery, School and working at a church that I have forgotten how twisted the world really is.

Now that school is out I am working at a popular Mexican food restaurant here in Tyler.

My first day on the job, and almost every word from my co-workers is a plethora of F-bombs and worse.

My trainer and several others are openly gay. Tales of drinking bouts and sexual conquests seem to be the topic of conversation almost all of the time.

I cannot help but be reminded of my old life before coming back to Jesus. I also have to be careful, because when I get tired my old language, and way of thinking seem to bubble to the surface.

This is how Paul must have felt around the Corinthians.

It is ok though. When asked by the Pharisees why he was hanging around the dregs of society, Jesus told them that the healthy don't need a doctor, the sick do.

I have to figure out how to be a witness.

What a slippery slope eh?

I have been really studying how to be in the world but not of it.

I remember how empty my life was when I lived like there was no tomorrow.

I can't help but think the same for my co-workers.

Please pray for God to open doors for me to share.

And to keep me safe.

Larry