Jekyll and Hyde Christian

Why is it that after a spiritual high there is a spiritual low? Great behavior followed by bad attitudes and a serious lack of patience and understanding?

Is this me? or is it everybody?

If its just me, I get it. I tend to be a nest of radical reversals. Bi-polar anyone?

Sunday my wife and I went to a new church a co-worker attends.

It was awesome!

For the first time in a year or more I felt the true blessing of the spirit. I couldn't decide whether to laugh, cry or sing, so I managed a mishmash of gutteral, goofy grins, and semi-tears. Despite the conflicting emotions it was an awesome feeling.

My wife and daughter walked out chattering like magpies about how wonderful it was. Excited, for once to get involved in a church.

Everthing was about praising God. From the opening music to the offering it was all about the Lord.

It was not about which deacon's turn it was to pray that week, or the youth pastor having time to give the announcements.

It was awesome!

So what happens next? I get to work and promptly start chewing a guys butt for not doing what he was supposed to be doing.

And not in a constructively positive way. Granted the guy was annoying, running his mouth, whiniing, and being a jerk. But I could have totally handled it much better. There were several choice words I could have left off saying.

Oooo I'll celebrate the blessing I received in church by being an ass.

Nice one

Larry

Welcome to the Real World

Oh, My, Gosh.

I am back in the real world.

It seems I have led quite the sheltered life these last few years. I have been so wrapped up in Church and Celebrate Recovery, School and working at a church that I have forgotten how twisted the world really is.

Now that school is out I am working at a popular Mexican food restaurant here in Tyler.

My first day on the job, and almost every word from my co-workers is a plethora of F-bombs and worse.

My trainer and several others are openly gay. Tales of drinking bouts and sexual conquests seem to be the topic of conversation almost all of the time.

I cannot help but be reminded of my old life before coming back to Jesus. I also have to be careful, because when I get tired my old language, and way of thinking seem to bubble to the surface.

This is how Paul must have felt around the Corinthians.

It is ok though. When asked by the Pharisees why he was hanging around the dregs of society, Jesus told them that the healthy don't need a doctor, the sick do.

I have to figure out how to be a witness.

What a slippery slope eh?

I have been really studying how to be in the world but not of it.

I remember how empty my life was when I lived like there was no tomorrow.

I can't help but think the same for my co-workers.

Please pray for God to open doors for me to share.

And to keep me safe.

Larry

Egomania

I've been thinking this morning.

I know, dangerous eh?

Some of you can smell the smoke coming from my ears.

My family and I are headed off to church today for the first time in a month two.

Before the gasps and the judgment, let me explain.

When my family and I came to the Tyler, Texas, area for me to start school I was on a high. I was Mr. Recovery, Mr. Church, Mr. on his way to become a pastor by going to University.

Did I act this way? Nope. In true passive aggressive fashion when I did not recieve the welcome I felt I deserved I backed off. Kept my toe in like the co-dependent I am and ran like a scared rabbit the first chance I got.

Throw in my bi-polar, self-esteem issues and I had effectively isolated myself like a smoker in California.

School and my Job were different. I had to be there everyday. The longer I have stayed the more friends I have made. (ugh, I didn't mean to rhyme.)

So we are off to church today.

With true broken humility.


I might even wear a tie.


Larry


PS. A few changes, I have created another blog, Nausea. I havn't felt right posting worldly stuff on Hallelujahs. News, politics, etc. Please check it out. Helen, I will be disapointed if you don't call me on my stuff over there, You can reach it here.

Fellow bloggers, if you would like a link posted on the new blog let me know. Since its orientation is different than Hallelujahs I wanted to ask first.


Love you guys


Larry