Turning it over

I have mentioned in several posts about fear. The kind of fear that would paralyze me into inaction. Below are the top four.

1. Fear of being judged
2. Fear of rejection
3. Fear of confrontation
4. Fear of failure

Since the surgery my view of fear has gone from inaction, to utilizing my steps to deal with it. Pretty cool huh?

Easy? No. But I am getting there.

Today I was at one of my accounts. One of my more difficult ones. The owner is very forceful and aggressive. Good man, but for me extremely intimidating. I usually kind of sneak in, take care of my clients and sneak out. He's a very busy guy and views what I do as disruptive to his business. Anyway I go in. Make my manners to the office manager and head off to where I do my thing in the shop. I walk in the door and there he is, surrounded by five or six of his foremen right by the door I have to go through. My heart starts beating rapidly. Mask goes on, lips contort into a smile, hand goes up in a casual wave, he slightly tips his head at me and I make it into the break room. As I am setting up my stuff I can hear him really getting after his guys.

Evidently a client was really nagging him about getting an order filled more quickly. The owner was saying "You guys get this done so I can get this blankety blank blank blank, blankhead of my back". (paraphasing of course) He was really getting after it. Of couse in my mind, I am next. The guy he was talking about wasn't there, but I was. All I could think of was, I'm next and I'm about to be judged and humiliated in front of all these guys. Talk about ready to leave.

All this went through my mind in a nano-second.

Wait, wait I think. Romans 8-15 pops in my head. You did not recieve a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear but, you recieved the spirit of sonship. And by him cry Abba, Father.

My heartbeat returns to normal and the 12 steps come back to me.

1. Realize I am powerless. I have no control over this man
2. Remember that God is in control
3. And then I turned it all over to God

I began to pray for the owner of this company. I prayed that he would not be driven by his own fears. That he would take time and enjoy the abundance God has gifted him with.

The meeting they were having broke up and I finished setting up my equipment. I realized I wasn't afraid anymore. I was at peace. Amazing huh? I went on to have a very successful day with the guys I was there to see.

It really does work if you work it.


Larry

Tags: Fear, God, Romans 8 15, failure, recovery, steps, 12 steps, powerless, surrender