Hallelujahs

Restless

2012-01-11T10:29:00.000-06:00

I have a bad habit. If I find a Texas Highways magazine, and it isn't nailed down, I sneakily abscond with it as quickly as I can. Texas Highways is the "official" travel magazine of Texas. Each issue takes the reader from one end of our state to another, highlighting eateries, honky-tonks, museums, parks, and anything of historical interest. Fortunately, I don't find them very often. This magazine triggers my insatiable wanderlust, the restlessness of my Scotch-Irish heritage.

I can't help it. The open road beckons with nooks and crannies of old buildings, diners, rolling hills, and twisty curves. The desire to be somewhere I haven't been is overwhelming. Sadly, its what led me down to South Texas where I had my accident. There isn't a day I don't thank God that I can still wiggle my toes. I need to blog it but its hard to revisit, at least to write about. So, for now Doctors, lock up your Texas Highways if I have an appointment, and the road? I miss you and will be back soon.

Larry

Christmas Gratitude

2011-12-25T14:31:00.000-06:00

Normally, New Year's Eve is the time for annual reflection but when the mood strikes the mood strikes. To say this year has been a struggle would be an understatement.

My mother-in-law, Aletha, has been on hospice care for the last year and her condition has been an emotional roller-coaster ride for my wife, her sisters, and all of us.

Alexis, our fourteen year old has struggled emotionally as she evolves into a young woman. With all the ups and downs of teen-age hood.

Finally, the disaster of my accident and five month recovery period.

With God's blessings I have recovered almost totally and managed to graduate from LeTourneau. My wife, Lisa is as beautiful and warm spirited as ever. Lex is doing well, and Aletha seems to be ok for now.

I am so grateful for all my family and friends without whom we could not have survived. We are so blessed.

God is So Good!

Merry Christmas

Larry

New Beginnings

2011-12-14T13:12:00.000-06:00

God is Good!
A huge chapter of my life has now closed. I graduated!
These last four and a half years of my life have been one of the greatest experiences of my life and one of biggest challenges.
It is bittersweet, I am so happy to be finished, but sad at the same time.

Now What?

Larry

Recovery Never Stops

2011-05-29T12:19:00.001-05:00

Wow, how cool is this? I am blogging mobile. I have the Blogger app which allows me to write from my EVO phone. awesome!

It has been a while since I have written and much has changed since I almost died in the accident. Now that I can blog by phone I can write about it, and I will.

I guess I will never really stop being in recovery in one way or another.

Ugh!

Larry

Leaving Anatomy

2011-01-25T12:53:00.000-06:00

I have to share my "man" trip with you.

Once upon a time, before school, I used to find ways to go off by myself for a day or so. Primarily, I would go off hiking, or check out some aspect of the area we were living's historical flavor. (ie, stuff that causes my wife's eyes to roll up in her head and fall asleep.) Since the new motorcycle entered my life, I have been earnestly seeking a chance to get away on some windy, twisty, roads and have me time.

A member of our recovery group recently had to move to South Texas to find work. We had been trying to find a way to get together to work on his fifth step. The phone and Skype, didn't seem proper so bingo! an idea was formed in the recesses of my brain. I would take the scooter and meet him half way, awesome! However, my wife had other plans.

My stepdaughter's fiance' needed help moving some things from Dallas to Houston. My wife, the lovely Lisa, suggested I take the bike to Dallas, load it on the moving truck, drive to Houston, meet my friend there for his step work, spend the night at my parents, and then take the long, scenic, way home. She is so amazing! So we plan it out. Due to work and school schedules I had to ride down early, like o-dark thirty from Longview to Arlington Sunday morning, before school started back on Tuesday. Plans are made, the fiance's dad rents the truck, and the newly betrothed gets a bus ticket to Dallas.

Mother nature however, had other plans. A wicked rain along with snow was rolling in that Sunday morning. Like a retired farmer playing dominoes with the boys at the local feed store my tv had stayed on the weather channel full time. You tend to do that when you ride. I changed my plans and decided to leave late Saturday night after work to beat the storm.

I got off work about ten thirty, gassed up, and headed home to load my gear. I finally rolled off campus at 12:30. Notice how my handy dandy backpack is packed and strapped to the rear of the Ninja, it made for a terrific back rest.

Of course it was going to be cold, the forecast called for the high thirties and then dropping below freezing in Dallas. Houston would be in the forties, and then dropping to the mid thirties Monday, and of course as I drove north to go home Monday it would continue to drop back to freezing. I had spent the last few months gathering gear and preparing how I would survive a cold ride. Being "student poor" I would be relying on layers to keep myself warm.

From the ground up, I had three pairs of heavy socks, boots, scooter shorts, long-johns, a pair of warm ups, jeans, and my windbreaker britches. From the waist up, a sport-dry undershirt, thermal pull-over, my thick nike sport shirt, a short sleeved t shirt, a zip up turtle neck pullover, my armored Joe Rocket ballistic jacket, and my leather jacket over that. Who know that eighties retread leather jacket would be of use again? From the neck up my balaclava head covering, a scarf around my neck and up to my nose, my warm beanie, and my helmet.

As I hit highway 80 headed West towards Dallas I realized something strange. I had the whole road to myself. Except for the occasional car coming from the opposite direction, no one passed me, and no one was in front of me. It was incredible. My only concern was an animal running into my path. I rolled into Mineola and it was a ghost town.

Finally, about four am I rolled into Dallas and spent what was left of the night at a family friends house. I had hardly closed my eyes when I awoke to the sound of rain banging on the roof and the sound of my alarm going off at 7:30 am. Quickly and quietly I got dressed, threw on all my gear and stepped outside. Great, my first ride on a big city freeway system and it was pouring down rain.

It took me an an hour and a half to get across town, I was soaked to to the bone, my clothes were drenched down to my socks. I was craving the heater of the Uhaul. Finally, wet and bedraggled, I met Ralph, the fiance', loaded the bike on the truck, and we were off to Houston.

Long story short, we made it into Houston and unloaded the truck. I met up with my friend and he bought me dinner at an awesome Mandarin Chinese place. We went to Starbucks and processed his fifth step.

The best part of that day was riding the bike north on highway 59 through downtown Houston and out to my folks house in Humble. I grew up driving all through the city, and to do it on the bike was awesome. It was incredible. Its hard to describe unless you've experienced it. There was a sense of freedom while blasting by the George R Brown Convention Center, Minute Maid park, and zipping up Atascocita Road to my folks house. Finally, I arrived gave big hugs, inspected the bike, washed my soaking clothes and went to bed.

I had a nice, but short visit with my folks, and took a great picture of me and my dad before I left Monday morning.

Got some gas at the local Chevron and took off home the long way around.

It was cold and grey outside as I headed north. I had chosen a route that took me inside two national forests, the Sam Houston, and the Crockett. I hit Cleveland, snuck around to Cold Springs, and up to Trinity, East to Crockett, Alto, Henderson, and finally home to Longview. It got colder and colder the further north I went. There were some great empty logging roads along the way.

The temp stayed about 38 degrees until I crossed the Trinity River. It was here my arse was frozen off and left on the bridge. Once I left the shore and was on the bridge proper the temp dropped to about 25. Every bit of warmth on my body and captured by my layers was sucked into the atmosphere. I have never been colder. It was compounded by my mistake of not stopping for a break in Trinity. I pushed on through 32 more miles to Crockett. I was ten miles short of hypothermia when I pulled into a Pizza Hut for lunch and a warm up. I added two more layers to my gear and now I was looking like Ralphie's brother from a Christmas Story.

I turned onto Hwy 21 and pulled off at my only touristy stop. The historic marker of the Caddo Indian mounds just outside of Alto. I knew I would regret it if I did not stop and get a pic.

My final stop before home was Lovelady, a town just East of Henderson. It was a thirty minute layover where I drank some coffee and tried to coax some warmth back into my body. I was bitter cold and had had enough of the weather. I wanted to be home and in my bed. On the final push through Henderson it started sleeting and I had missed tucking my scarf into my jacket collar so I had a draft blowing into my neck and shoulder. I didn't care I just wanted to be home and have my arse back.

Finally I rolled back onto campus. An amazing journey completed. It was miserable by all accounts but awesome at the same time. I had never been so cold or so happy in my life.

Larry

Shaking the Dust Off

2011-01-18T08:58:00.000-06:00

Wow, has it been this long? Did I actually forget that I had a blog? It has been forever since I posted. School, family, and work has kept me out of the blogging loop.

Hopefully, with the assistance of my government class, I will have time to blog more often. I am super psyched that this is my final semester of school. I get to graduate in the spring! Praise God! This four year journey is coming to a close.

There has also been a new addition to our family. Grace, the ninjette. She's amazing. We have been sharing some awesome adventures, and I look forward to sharing some of them and shaking the dust off the blog.

Larry

Staying and Resting

2010-06-16T11:17:00.000-05:00

How hard is it? To stay and Rest in God.

For me? the hardest of all.

I don't want to be alone with my own thoughts, much less with the God of the universe who pierces the darkness of my thoughts like a two edged sword.

I'm like a child who puts his hands over his eyes thinking he can't be seen.

How foolish, But He's got me none-the-less.

The Litter Box of Life

2010-05-13T12:07:00.000-05:00

We used to have a cat. Her name was Fancy. I was begged into it by my then five year old Alexis, and my wife, Lisa. I thought of their happiness verses the inevietable duties that would follow. Cleaning the litter box. After careful consideration, (all it took was the desperate looks on their faces that would have melted the heart of the abomidable snowman) I relented, under one condition, they would be responsible for feeding her, and changing out the litterbox. A job that is disgusting, and as smelly as a porta-can at a five day Lollapalooza concert.

Eventually, it became a battle of wills as to who would clean out the litter box. It became, a competition to see who would give in first, my wife or me. Niether of us wanted anything to do with that box. In doing so it became an eyesore and the smell would knock a buzzard off an outhouse. The poor cat was doing all she could to cover up her mess. Eventually she would move outside her box and go on the carpet.

Before you cat-lovers start gasping in anger, I know some of you have been here before. Finally, one of us (usually me) would change it out.

With my background being recovery, it occurs to me that individually, our lives can be like a giant litterbox. We are all sinners, and I imagine that our sins are that foul smelling to God. We run through life filling up our litter box with sin and because of the stench we don't want to deal with it. So it continues to rise until it spills over into other peoples lives; spouses, sons and daughters, parents, and friends.

James 5:16, Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.

How smelly is your litterbox? What are you doing to clean it out? When life gets crazy and all bejiggidy are you taking a look at your part in it? Do you have someone you trust that you can confess your sins to?

Do you have a nice large hefty trash bag to drop your litter in that won't break, so you can get it to the big can in the garage with the snap tight lid? God has a dumpster big enough for the worst mess if you will let him have it.

As for Fancy, she turned out to be a long haired cat that began to wreak havok on my daughters asthma. We had to find her a new home.

Now the competition is over cleaning out the mini fish tank. Ooo, I sense another analogy here.

Nevermind, the last one was bad enough.

Larry

Hectic Hurley Burley

2010-04-01T22:04:00.000-05:00

I have always wanted to use that title for a blog post. Now is as good a time as any. Thats what the last few weeks have been like. A crazy hurley burley mess. Or ginormous cluster, oh well you get the idea. However, as crazy as its been, much has been accomplished.

First, I am back in ministry. Celebrate Recovery to be exact. It has been exciting and scary at the same time. After all I have been away actively for three years. I started off with leadership training on a few Saturdays, and did my testimony on a Tuesday night.

Amazing, I had to rewrite it from my generic, pitch CR to the congregation testimony to keeping it real, and unfettered! It felt good, being honest about everything and leaving nothing sanitized. I processed four years of unvarnished hurts, habits, and hang-ups in one fell swoop, as well as much experience strength and hope. It was balanced, and impactful. God indeed, never wastes a hurt.

Other chapters in my life are coming to a close and I am happy for that as well.

I started back to school after Spring Break only to come down with a nasty case of bronchitis. Thank God it wasn't as bad as the last. I have recovered after three days.

So now I am trying to gear up to finish this semester at school strong. I am getting organized, focusing my time, and writing papers. Its going to be a tough busy push, but well worth it. Only one more year at school and I graduate!

Thank God he has brought me this far!

I wish all of you a blessed Easter weekend. Never forget what he has done for us!

He has risen indeed!

I Think I've Got it!

2010-03-19T01:12:00.000-05:00

Finally! One of my goals this week was to get the blog re-tweeked and fix the disaster of the last template I tried. The pressure of mid-terms kept me from it.

I like the new look! If any of you have suggestions please leave a comment. Feel free to give me a thumbs up or thumbs down review.

A blog is nothing without content and I hope to return regularly. I say this with the best of intentions however, it is really hard for me to find time for a sneeze much less blog. I will do the best I can, and I totally appreciate the prayers and support.

Cool news, my hibernation from ministry is over. I have been commanded (after I whined like a little girl becuase I couldn't figure out how to find time to get back to doing what I'm supposed to be doing.) by my academic advisor, Dr. Mays, to explore intern possibilities with a CR group. So, on Tuesday nights I have been back to Celebrate Recovery! (it was never lost, it was just hard to go due to my work schedule!) Since school comes first, I now have Tuesdays off. Woohoo, God is Great!

They are struggling to find men who are able to be leaders, God put us together right on time. Next Tuesday I am giving my testimony at New Beginnings Baptist Church, here in Longview. I am a bit petrified. My testimony has so many additions since the last time I gave it, I have to rewrite it.

The people at this CR are amazing! I had visited a few times a year ago but never connected. (you have to go back to do that!) I am so super-psyched that this bunch seems to be as sick, if not sicker than I am! I totally mean that as a compliment too. I feel very at home there. If your around Longview next Tuesday come check it out.

Last but not least, I am going to re-make the blogroll. (Helen, your already in. :) I am also going to add some of my new Twitter friends. If you are interested in being added please post a comment, twitter, or facebook me.

The Piper on the Berm

2010-03-04T00:47:00.001-06:00

Life has been pretty intense lately. Stress has been following me around like one of David Letterman's stalkers. The primary stressor has been Greek. Missing one day of work means losing a week. My schedule breaks down like this.

School, 15 hours a week, not counting homework time.

Work, 35 to 40 hours a week, all nights primarily.

Family, and life in general, Full time.

Like one of the Flying Wallendas, one little gust of wind can push me over the edge, and into the abyss. If crisis occurs it completely throws me off. Weekend before last I broke a rib. Down time? A day in a half. Therefore, I have been playing Greek catch up for a week. Three am has been my bed time.

Today, I finished catching up, and walked over to my Greek professor's office. On the way I discovered the piper playing on the berm. One could almost imagine the clans gathering for battle on the Scottish moor. I love bagpipes. In fact, when I die, my only last wish is to have them played at my funeral. (morbid I know) I want Amazing Grace piped when they lower me into the ground. Oops, I'm digressing.

I never have time to stop and just be. Today, when I heard the piper, I stopped, plopped down on the grass like a hippy at Woodstock, and was still. The sun warmed my face, the grass was semi-green, and in that moment, all was right with the world.

New Beginnings

2010-02-25T00:25:00.001-06:00

I hope everybody likes the new settings of Hallelujahs. There will be more to come in this revamping of my blog. It has been too long since I have given it the attention it deserves.

I appreciate all of you guys who have stuck with me so long, and I am grateful for all of the new friends I have met since beginning in 2006. It has been a long wonderful road and I hope my bipolar rants on life, recovery, and my poor attempts at being political, have struck a chord somewhere.

Its funny, at one time I thought this would be a political blog, but I found I didn't have the desire to add to the flotsam and jetsam already out there.

So, I will stick to what I know best, recovery, my crazy life, and the blessings God has given me in the good times and bad. I have recently added a direct feed to twitter, facebook, and rss. Yikes! this means I will have to start writing a lot more!. I hope to make new friends, find new blogs to enjoy, and continue to share my sick sense of humor.

Over the next few weeks I will be adjusting my blogroll and tweaking other things.

I could not be here today if it weren't for God placing all of you in my life.

Thanks!

Larry

Recovery and Pain

2010-02-22T15:21:00.000-06:00

What are we supposed to do when pain rears its ugly head and we are in recovery? Like a starving man on a deserted island, do I want water or food first?

I'm not talking about a headache or a little booboo on our toe, but real agonizing pain. The kind that disolves sleep, and prevents you from breathing. In my years of struggling with back pain I have realized, sometimes narcotic pain pills are the the only things that work.

Before my back surgery the only way I could function was to be on meds full time. Nothing else would touch the pain. If I wanted to get out of bed and go to work; I had to do what I had to do. Eventually I knew there would be a price to pay, and I paid it. It was one of the most suckish experiences of my life. It actually took me longer to recover getting off the pain meds than it did to recover from the surgery itself.

A week or so ago, I managed to bruise a couple of ribs on my upper right side. When I was at work Saturday night they broke. AGONY!! Like two children screaming in my ear, I couldn't move, breathe, laugh, or even get the hiccups without hurting. I finished my shift and headed straight to the emergency room.

They gave me a shot, which put me in lala land and took xrays. They saw more than they wanted because they then sent me in for a catscan. This is all fuzzy to me. Diagnoses? Fractured rib. BTW? Don't facebook or twitter when you are in this state of mind. I should have had my wife not give me my phone. (what you say will make no sense).

I was sent home with pain medication and prescription strength ibuprofen. Yesterday I stayed medicated and in bed. Today? Pain or not I had to get moving back into a routine. Time waits for no one, and my time was marching up my ribcage, like the Marine Corps marching band headed towards the barracks.

I have not taken anything stronger than my ibuprofen today for my pain. Tonight I return to work and will problably take something stronger when I get home.

I thank God he has taught me the lessons in life to avoid going back.

Larry

Under Construction

2010-02-18T00:46:00.001-06:00

Just a quick post. I have been playing around with a new format and have uploaded the current one. I think its pretty amazing. However, there are some glitches I have to attempt to fix. Please bear with me for the next day or so while I iron them out.

Thanks

Much Grace to You.

Larry

Reflection

2010-02-04T00:43:00.001-06:00

This post is a reflection paper I wrote on Robert E. Coleman's The Master Plan of Evangelism. It was a three page assignment covering how we could apply Jesus' methods of evangelism. First published in 1963, the book is a classic because Coleman takes us through the Gospels step by step, and shows us how Jesus taught the Disciples to carry on his mission after He Ascended. This book is a must read for any Christian, but more so for Pastors and church leadership no matter what the denomination. It is truly sad that this book and Jesus' methods aren't utilized as they should be. If so, the Church, Christianity, and today's culture would look very different today.

He Stayed With Them.

Why are we so drawn to buddy movies? One of my favorite mini-series is Band of Brothers. It is about a company of paratroopers in World War II. They trained together, fought together and in some cases were wounded, and died together. However, the men who survived the experience developed a bond that was never broken even 50 years later.

During my Celebrate Recovery days, in Humble, I had a similar group, whom I called my band of brothers. We were with each other in recovery and we taught others how to live a Christ centered life in recovery. We rescued each other, learned from each other, and called each other on our stuff. We were a team that forged a bond that has not been broken. Now we are scattered, and are attempting to spread what we learned from Christ, the Bible, and our program.

Unwittingly we were following a model Jesus created. Just as Jesus selected the men who were his disciples, I believe He, through the Holy Spirit put us together. Jesus and his "Band of Brothers" ate together, prayed together and shared their triumphs and failures with one another. Throughout this time, He taught the raucous band of blue collar hillbillies, and a tax collector, what was needed to carry His message to the world. It couldn't have been easy, they were obdurate, and at times egotistical. However, after Christ's ascension, and the Holy Spirit's descent, they laid the foundations of Jesus' church that conquered the world!

If I am ever blessed to be in a position of authority in ministry again, I would cultivate such friendships. We would learn from each other, pray with each other and through us create other small groups of 'brothers' to ripple out like a stone in water. Ultimately the effects may carry revival through the church, community, and possibly the world.

He Showed Them How to Live

No one led by example better than Jesus. He was tempted but did not sin. He was the creator of heaven and earth, yet he humbled Himself to take on the trappings of our flesh. Jesus did not sit under a shade tree, drink wine, eat delicacies, and order his people about. He led from the front. He never asked the disciples to do anything he hadn't done first. Most important he didn't ask them to die for Him, until He had died for them. All of the disciples except for John died carrying His message.

This is the example we must follow as we move into leadership positions of a church. Yes, delegation is important, and Jesus delegated, but we cannot ask fellow ministers, employees, and parishioners to do things we ourselves aren't willing to do. Even if that means we clean toilets and help with janitorial duties. We cannot sit on the sidelines and bark orders. We must get out into life and get our hands dirty.

Pastors are always telling us, "bring people to church", "go witness". At no time in my experiences in church did I ever see a pastor in public doing this type of thing. The one time I did see a "mega-pastor" and spoke with him he was mega-condescending. Jesus showed us how to pray, and when he was with the disciples, he led by example. He went off to pray by himself. Why is it that after some years of church I have never seen a preacher show us how to pray, or to teach us how he prays?

Jesus never forgot even the smallest iota of information. We have the Gospels, but as John said in his, there aren't enough pages in the world to tell all of the things Jesus said and did. We must follow the Master's example and lead by it.

He Expected Them to Reproduce

Just as God told Adam and Eve to "Be fruitful and multiply", so Jesus gave us the Great Commission. He wanted His message, which he promised Abraham would be a light to the world, culminating in Jesus, to be spread. Indeed it was, within 500 years after Jesus rose to heaven the known world was conquered by His church. How did they do this, and how do we do it today?

The disciples took it to the culture! Paul went to the Gentiles, he was able to relate to them and their culture. He was able to take his scholarship of Judaism and the message of Christ and filter it to the Greeks in the language of their culture. His example enabled the churches he founded to continue spreading the Gospel until the Empire was overturned to Christ.

The new wine must be people! Not programs, events, or the hottest, pop culture, Christian writer conference of the day. One quote hit me as I was reading this book, "where are our men? What are they doing for the church?" Seriously, what are the thousands of people who sit in church pews everyday doing for the Kingdom of God?

In any given situation the ratio is ten percent. Ten percent of the people do a hundred percent of the work. How do we get the other 90 percent out there doing? We must 1, Lead by example. 2, create a Band of Brothers, stay with them, train them, and have them multiply outward. 3. People are the masters of our fragmented culture. People are the ones who can relate Christ to the unreached in their sub-group. (Bikers, gamers, recovery, accounting, hunting, artists etc.)

Jesus selected his followers and trained them in the way they should go. His method has lasted for two thousand years. There are times it is forgotten. Every so often, it is grasped again and hugged like an old friend not seen in years. This is one of those times. We must grasp His method and like our predecessors lay the ground work needed to conquer the world.

Schools Out, For Now

2009-12-11T11:06:00.000-06:00

YaY! School is out, for now. I do not have to go back until January 11th. This has been a tough semester. I took fewer hours, however, there were many personal distractions. Plus, I have been working a lot of hours.

Praise God for getting me through.

My project for the next thirty days or so is to work on my Greek. By far it has been my toughest subject. I missed a few classes and it put me behind quite a bit. I never really caught up. As Dr. Hood told us last year, "missing one day is like missing a week." How True that is.

So, I am committing myself to working an hour a day translating the rest of First John. To hold myself accountable I am going to share what I learn each day with you.

We are also home schooling my rampantly ADD daughter. Since I have ADHD as well, it has been as challenging as a possum licking dirt out of a hair oil bottle (my fathers favorite metaphor, I have always wanted to use it).

Good Times!

Blessings!

Larry

VARKS and KOLBS

2009-10-23T12:03:00.000-05:00

What is VARK, is it the sound of a hair-lipped dog? VARK, VARK!

V.A.R.K. is actually an acronym; each letter represents a learning style: visual, auditory, reading and kinesthetic. VARK is very straight forward. You are asked a series of questions and you tally up the score at the end. You do some handy dandy math and presto! Your learning styles are known!

The VARK system is one of two in which we learned in Ministry of Teaching class what our primary learning styles are.

The Kolb system is the other. The Kolb system was created by David Kolb in the early nineteen eighties. It is based on the premise that we all have four learning styles and experience a four stage learning cycle.

The testing for this is more difficult than VARK. One rates their preferences on a list of statements. Then the scores are tallied not unlike filling out the stats of a baseball program at a Ranger game. The scores are placed in a column, graphed and voila! The Kolb system allows one to rate their learning styles in these categories; Concrete Experience - (CE), Reflective Observation - (RO), Abstract Conceptualization - (AC), and Active Experimentation - (AE). For the sake of this reflection, I will only concentrate on my learning styles.

The VARK questionnaire was easier to fill out than cooking canned biscuits, and tallying the results was just as simple. The following is a brief description of each learning style.

1. Visual – you learn best visually
2. Aural – you learn beast by hearing information
3. Read/write – you learn best by reading or writing information
4. Kinesthetic – you learn best by doing

As Joe Friday used to say, “just the facts ma’am, just the facts”.

The following numbers were my total on the learning scale.

Kinesthetic 8, read/write 5, auditory 4, and visual 1.

These numbers were as accurate as Annie Oakley on the shooting range. I learn best by doing. Like driving to an appointment in a new part of town, the driver never forgets where he was going, but whoever is in the passenger seat will generally not remember how to get there.

The second place finisher (here second place really does count) was reading/writing. This is not only listening and taking notes in class. This is literally writing out what I am supposed to be learning. Knowing these statistics has allowed me to load my learning arsenal with the proper ammunition.

For example, in my Greek class it helps me to recite my vocabulary words out loud in order to memorize them. Since I learn best by “doing and writing” I should be writing the Greek words many times, and actively translating on a daily basis. Oh, for the discipline of Erasmus!

David Kolb on the other hand is another kettle of fish entirely. At first, cynically, I felt Mr. Kolb had way too much time on his hands when he created his learning theory. However once I saw the fruits of the results, and was able to apply them, I made many pies!

Like VARK there is a questionnaire to fill out. It is a little more complicated but once finished you place the results on a graph, and your learning styles are known. Mine turned out to be concrete Experience (feeling), and active experimentation (doing).

This placed me in a category specified by Kolb as accommodating.

“The Accommodating learning style is 'hands-on', and relies on intuition rather than logic. These people use other people's analysis, and prefer to take a practical, experiential approach. They are attracted to new challenges and experiences, and to carrying out plans. They commonly act on 'gut' instinct rather than logical analysis. People with an Accommodating learning style will tend to rely on others for information than carry out their own analysis. This learning style is prevalent and useful in roles requiring action and initiative. People with an Accommodating learning style prefer to work in teams to complete tasks. They set targets and actively work in the field trying different ways to achieve an objective.” (class notes).

Unlike hieroglyphics out of Egypt these are not set in stone. This is not 100% how I learn, there are variations. However, it is fascinating how close it comes to being dead on.

Learning these "learning styles" has helped me in the following ways.

In intermediate Greek it has shown me a strategy in learning the language. Before I was like a rudderless ship, and had no plan for steering myself through the shoals of verbs, moods, and tenses.

Now, I understand, I need to be teaching what I know, writing over and over what I don’t know, and actively translating my Greek New Testament on a daily basis.

I have learned the way others learn as well. To be an effective teacher, pastor, and parent I must learn these variations and adapt them to each teaching environment.

I must be as flexible as an old car antenna, on the one hand not only receiving the signal, but on the other bending in the direction in order to pick it up and process it in a way my students and daughter can best understand.

Larry

Inspiration

2009-10-15T13:33:00.000-05:00

Just peeking in for a moment. I have been dreadfully busy at school, work, and family. Life has been hectic to say the least.

Things are looking up. Greek is getting better. One of my problems in posting lately is my inspiriation has not been so good. I sit down, I log in, and... and... and... I log out. Its hard to be inspired when your brain hurts....

Life however, is good. Just the typical ups and downs of family life on campus.

See you soon!

Larry

Life in the Connected Lane

2009-08-05T22:46:00.000-05:00

First off, too funny, the picture of the Blackberry Curve I am using I totally stole from fellow blogger Shirley Buxton. I didn't meant to but I was googling Curve pics and voila, her page came up. So gotta give credit where credit is due. Plus, her entry is an amazing read.

Finally I have a way to stay connected. With my new BlackBerry Curve there is E-mail, Facebook, the net, and phone; most recently I am a new fledgling junior blue bird on twitter. So, now what?

Don't know

Ain't life a hoot?

Larry

Magic Shoes

2009-05-26T08:30:00.000-05:00

Its amazing to me how we take shoes for granted. They can literally make or break a person's workday. Mine recently died, they split at the heel and toe. Cheapskate that I am I decide to wait a few days to get a new pair. Not a good Idea.

Especially since I am on my feet eight to ten hours a day either waiting tables or tending bar.

I literally started having lower back spasms. The little man with the cheese grater on my spine was back. My feet hurt like maniacs in a padded room, and my shoulders and neck muscles started cramping. Of course observant fellow that I am didn't put two and two together until last night.

I went and bought me some new Wal-mart Magic shoes!

We'll see how today goes.

Larry

Around that Time

2009-05-23T10:41:00.000-05:00

Holy cow, I went back and read all of my blog posts from beginning to end. Three things really stood out to me.

1. I was really inspired.

2. It was easy to see the slide into and out of recovery.

3. Its been four years since I started Hallelujahs.

This is amazing to me. At times I have felt like my blog was an unattended and ungroomed pet. I am so glad to have a record of where I was, where I went, and where I am going.

I feel ashamed that my level of spirituality is nowhere near where it was. The previous post explains some of that. I have developed a blogging routine now. I get up earlier, have coffee, listen to music and just write. It feels pretty good. Next up, visiting my neighbors again!

Larry

The Journey

2009-05-22T10:40:00.001-05:00

Once a man has made that first move, once he has cast off his moorings, his associations, broken with his school, his church, his village store, and his relatives, it is easy to continue on. It is always easier to travel than to stop.

As long as one travels toward a promised land, the dream is there, to stop means to face the reality, and it is easier to dream than to realize the dream.

Louis L'amour

In the two years since I cast off my moorings and came to school I have found it hard to connect and to put into practice what I have learned.

Finding a church.

Finding a Celebrate Recovery to get involved with.

Finding a ministry to become a part of.

Friendships have been real but semi-shallow.

Focus. (I wanted to throw in another word that begins with F.)

My little family; Lisa my wife, and Alexis my daughter, changed everything to come up here to LeTourneau, and it has been a blessing, and a strange fogged, surreal dream. Our lives are better in most ways but shaky in others.

I have learned much but am adrift. Am I afraid to live the dream? I am realizing it but not living it.

Is it time to stop and face reality, that my calling is going to be messy and dangerous?

Engage or stay safe?

Larry

Where is it?

2009-05-21T10:10:00.000-05:00

Oh where oh where, Has my Creativity gone? Oh where oh where can it be?

Nice huh? Thats all I could come up with this morning.

Have to blame my wife, she didn't tell me we were out of coffee creamer.

Its a proven fact that Coffee Mate Original Flavor in the liquid form, has it all over milk 2-1.

At least I can have some cereal.

Hope everyone is having a great day! It has been beautiful here in Longview all week.

Blessings!

Larry

Backed Up

2009-05-08T00:43:00.000-05:00

I have this issue. You could call it an OCD thing but it is this quirk that I have had as long as I can remember.

I hate eating in a restaurant and having my back against the wall. Like an aging gunfighter from the wild west, it gives me the creeps to not see who is coming and going.

There is no rational reason for this. It is what it is. My wife always has to sit on the side of the booth not facing the door. Mabe I read too many stories of how Wild Bill Hickok died or something when I was a kid.

So today I am watching the history channel, they have this program where they do a segment on all 50 states. The portion I caught was on North Carolina. They spoke of tobacco, banking capitols, and how Greensboro was the beginning of the sit-in movement during the civil rights era.

These four African American guys walked into a segregated diner in Greensboro, bought some school supplies, and sat down at the lunch counter and asked to be served. They were asked to leave and they wouldn't budge.

The narrator of the show I was watching said the sherriff stood behind them and smacked his billy club over and over in his hand. It hit me that these guys were some of the bravest people I had ever heard of, and my flesh crawled at the thought of not being able to see what was going on behind me; and what must have been going through those guys minds.

The result? A huge following grew behind the sit-ins and eventually Woolworths desegregated.

Felt kind of foolish after I watched that show.

I think next time I'll sit facing the back of where-ever I am eating.

Larry

Out With the Old

2009-04-24T12:06:00.001-05:00

Wow, its been a while hasn't it?

I must say this semester has been brutal. My time has been limited and the stress of writing papers, and memorizing Greek paradigms has sapped my strength like a child and a pixie straw.

It is good to be back.

I have learned great things this semester, heck this whole year.

A sampling,

1. How to write a pure research exegesis paper.

2. I articulated my Framework of Youth Ministry (Helping hurting youth)

3. And learned How Greek grammer shows us the proper translation of the Bible

4. How intricately cool the human body is on the microscopic label and that there is no way that we crawled out of the primordial ooze.

Awesome eh?

However I find my thoughts are still scattered like shotgun pellets chasing skeet, and enormous discipline is required to get me through.

Over the next few weeks I am going to revamp and retune this blog.

The appearance will change as I bring it up to date, and I will be writing more.

I hope to return to a daily posting.

To all of you out there who have hung on and kept checking every day thank you!

Larry

My Mother-in-Law

2009-01-22T10:19:00.000-06:00

I know, I know, I said I would start posting at least once a week. But as usual the best laid plans do not always come to fruition.

My mother-in-law, Aletha, had a massive stroke about 12 days ago. All three of her arteries were blocked and she suffered massive damage. My wife has been traveling back and forth to Alexandria, Louisiana and we have been juggling job, school, and baby sitting.

I ask for your prayers. Right now the care she is recieving at the hospital itself is not so great, and Aletha is in a lot of pain, and she is suffering. Please pray for her.

Also, please pray for My wife Lisa, her sisters Gail, Carol, and Debbie, and her Brother Bubba. This is a really tough time for all of them. Let God use this time for his purpose.

The other issue is that my laptop died, and for the first time in as long as I can remember I do not have a computer. It will take some time to buy a new one.

So for now I am relying on the computers at school, which is no problem but access is going to be sporadic.

I will post when I can.

Please pray for Aletha, and our family, for peace, strength, and wisdom in this time.

Love you all

Larry

The Dry Place

2009-01-08T22:39:00.001-06:00

Life is amazing, and so hard to figure out at times.
Grace is a mystery and hard to accept.

The last two years or so have been so interestingly hard. Like driving on a road in the desert and occasionally stopping at a rest area in an oasis. Its a nice break but once you have visited the bathroom and seen what the vending machines have to offer, it is time to move on to finish your journey.

When Lisa and I took the plunge and moved to East Texas so I could go to school, we had no Idea what was in store for us.

The desert can be beautiful for its scenery but hey, people get heatstroke.

Times have been hard, and I'm not talking about the current "economic crisis". It is difficult to make a living, raise a family, and take 16 hours full time at school. We have been in survival mode, and when you are in survival mode in the desert the only thing you worry about is getting to the next water hole.

However, God has been using this time to prune us. To strip off the things that weigh us down so we can run the race faster and with more endurance. And as a former pastor of mine once said, pruning hurts.

Lately things have been changing. We are now living on campus in a married student apartment. Rent is so cheap with all bills paid. I scaled back a bit on my hours at school, and I'm not having to work so much. God has clicked everthing into place like a budding engineer makes a Lincoln Log House.

I've been looking over my shoulder so long that its kind of freaking me out.

But thats a good thing

O' God you are my God,

Earnestly I seek you;

My soul thirsts for you,

my body longs for you,

in a dry and weary land

where there is no water.

Psalm 63-V1

It makes the rest stop so much sweeter.

Larry

Christmas Break!

2008-12-16T16:16:00.000-06:00

I have to say,

My butt has been kicked. I have no idea how I made it through this last semester at school, and at life in general.

It has been tough to say the least. I passed all of my classes, wooo hooo!

Financially it has been tight and my internet access has been sporadic. But there is light at the end of the tunnel!

My family and I are moving to the campus! Bills will be much cheaper, grades will go up, and driving time will be nil.

Thanks for all of your prayers, I could not have done it without them.

I will be back to posting at least once a week.

Blessings and Grace to all!

Larry

Prayer Needed

2008-09-29T23:29:00.000-05:00

I know I have not posted for a while.

Things have been crazy.

I have been working 40 to 50 hours a week and trying to maintain sixteen hours at school, plus taking care of my family. The stress has become unbelievable.

To top it off we have been struggling financially. It seems if its not one thing its another. Mechanical issues with our vehicles, and now our landlord is not renewing our lease. So we will have to move sometime in the next thirty days.

ARRRGH!!!

Please pray for our family; for peace, for patience, direction. And for a breakthrough financially.

I know its all going to work out, but gosh its hard.

We feel trapped between the waves and the rocks.

Larry

Back to Campus!

2008-08-21T00:41:00.001-05:00

I cannot believe it is that time again. Back to the campus I go for year two of school.

Next week I'll be back to learning. Last year by the Grace of God and some awesome professors I made it through Algebra, and English; luckily I didn't have to diagram any sentences. (whew!)

This year I have new challenges.

Elementary Greek (reading the bible in the raw)

Romans

Intro to Philosophy

Current Issues in Youth Ministry

Physical Science

Pretty cool huh?

I am excited about each class. Monday I have to drive over and pick up my books.

Keep me in your prayers

Please also pray for some of my coworkers: All are lost and need hope.

Lisa, Joe, Gina, Matt, and Nathanial.

May the Grace of God be with you all.

Larry

An Opportunity Down the Drain

2008-08-19T23:22:00.000-05:00

I was listening to the radio on the way to work this afternoon and I heard a story about a woman counselor who was fired for not taking on a woman who was struggling in a same sex relationship. The full story is here.

The controversy is starting to boil.

My thoughts on the matter went something like this. Wow, this woman really missed an opportunity to be a witness and show the love of Jesus to this person she refused to counsel.

Jesus came to save the world not, to condemn it.

What would have happened if Jesus had turned the woman at the well away?

Larry

Jekyll and Hyde Christian

2008-08-12T11:23:00.000-05:00

Why is it that after a spiritual high there is a spiritual low? Great behavior followed by bad attitudes and a serious lack of patience and understanding?

Is this me? or is it everybody?

If its just me, I get it. I tend to be a nest of radical reversals. Bi-polar anyone?

Sunday my wife and I went to a new church a co-worker attends.

It was awesome!

For the first time in a year or more I felt the true blessing of the spirit. I couldn't decide whether to laugh, cry or sing, so I managed a mishmash of gutteral, goofy grins, and semi-tears. Despite the conflicting emotions it was an awesome feeling.

My wife and daughter walked out chattering like magpies about how wonderful it was. Excited, for once to get involved in a church.

Everthing was about praising God. From the opening music to the offering it was all about the Lord.

It was not about which deacon's turn it was to pray that week, or the youth pastor having time to give the announcements.

It was awesome!

So what happens next? I get to work and promptly start chewing a guys butt for not doing what he was supposed to be doing.

And not in a constructively positive way. Granted the guy was annoying, running his mouth, whiniing, and being a jerk. But I could have totally handled it much better. There were several choice words I could have left off saying.

Oooo I'll celebrate the blessing I received in church by being an ass.

Nice one

Larry

Beauty and Prayer

2008-08-06T11:14:00.000-05:00

The last few months or so I have been stumbling into friends from High school, either through Facebook or email updates.

Its awsome in a way but strange too. Some of my old friends I spent 12 years with from Kindygarten on.

The great thing about it is that I can pass on stuggles that need prayer.

Heres one, from Tom Hudson. Please keep his family in your hearts, minds, and prayers. I am posting his email unedited. This is for Baby Sarah Felicity.

I am sorry to be so late in announcing the birth of our precious baby. On May 14th our little Sarah Felicity was born at full term.

She was only 4 lbs 5 oz and 18 in long. She is a very sweet little girl little Sarah has a condition called Trisomy 18 which is a terminal condition. Only 5-10% of babies born with this genetic condition will live to see their first birthday.

By the grace of our dear Lord and the love and care of her family, Sarah is surprising everyone by how well she is doing. I am writing this because Sarah needs our prayers.

In particular, Lena asks for prayers that our little baby will nurse or be strong enough to feed from a bottle on her own. If Sarah is given a feeding tube, the hope is that it will be temporary. The feeding tubes will sometimes cause fatal infections in these infants, so nursing would be a really huge blessing.

Sarah is absolutely adorable, and Lena’s care for her has been remarkable. Along with caring for our 6 children Lena has been going through these last few months on very little sleep and needs prayers, her strength has been remarkable. This is a link to a youtube video about a baby boy with Trisomy 18.

Please ask anyone you know for prayers as this is an incurable disorder and we are praying for a miracle.

God Bless,

Tom Hudson

Please put the Hudson family on all of your prayerlists.

Larry

Back in the Fold

2008-08-04T22:43:00.000-05:00

It has been a long year since my move up here to Tyler.

A blessed year with school but also a year in the wilderness.

I went from being completely grounded with Celebrate Recovery, church, and a plethora of family and friends, to wandering in the forest without a compass.

Tonight, I found my new CR home and it feels great.

I haven't posted much because there has been no inspiration. This is a blog on my recovery right?

How can I write if there hasn't been much recovery?

I haven't gone backwards but I haven't moved forward either.

Heres to the future.

Larry

3 AM Conviction

2008-07-10T03:37:00.000-05:00

recently I have been plagued by a new phenomenon, insomnia. Work is going well but I don't usually get home till midnight. By the time I wind down enough to go to bed its two in the morning.

No biggie, I take a nap before I go to work and I feel fine.

Simple, except that lately I crawl in bed, doze for a bit, and then I am wide awake.

Sermons start rattling around in my head like a deranged pinball bouncing off of colorful lights. Ping ping, I toss, ping ping, I turn. ARRRGH!

It has occurred to me over the last few days that this is the only time My ADHD brain is still enough to know God.

So, I am guessing I need an outlet, and since I have no pulpit as yet, this blog will have to suffice. I have been negligent in posting because to be honest, I have not been inspired. Well, it seems I now have inspiration in spades.

After tonight I will begin posting the three am chronicles, Whatever Is rattling around in my head that keeps me awake will now be post fodder for my blog.

I'm thinking along the lines of Field of Dreams If I post it, readers will come, and the message he wants out there will be read.

I am under no illusions that all of my best posts were inspired by God, and that for the last several months or so I have not been listening very well.

So welcome to Hallelujahs, 3 am Chronicles or messages or whatever catchy title I can come up with.

Larry

Alone In the Dark

2008-06-03T00:20:00.000-05:00

i had new person comment on one of my posts the other day about being back in the real word.

It was reassuring. I may be back in the real world but God is with me too.

As I bounced over to her blog, Supernatural Christian, I read the following post Called "Be Assured". In it she speaks of her sensitivity to evil in the world, and other people.

She is an awesome writer and a bit trippy.

Anyway I digress.

Tonight at work I snuck out to get a break from the hustle and bustle of closing the restaurant.

To be honest, I had to have a smoke. (Just keeping it real, yes I still struggle with the nicotine fiend.)

So I am sitting out there, and one of the guys comes out and pulls his car up close to where I am sitting. Now I am tired, my feet are hurting like a hammer whose seen to much action, and this jumps out after turning his stereo up loud so I can here the song that has been running in his head all day.

This cat is a good guy at work, does his job, doesn't gripe too much and he's an admitted bi-sexual. He's got that underground disco/techno lifestyle going. and for those familiar with it, you will understand what I am talking about.

I spent a lot of time in my past drinking and drugging in all kinds of bars: gay, straight, country, etc. Each one has their own subculture, of druggies and drunks.

So all of a sudden this trashy song starts blaring, thump, thump, thump. Bass and high-hat tripping right along. This guys starts lip-synching the lyrics to impress me with this song.

To be honest, I have heard worse, and at one time in my life I probably would have thought the song hilarious. However, all of a sudden my blood ran cold with fear and anxiety.

In my mind I started praying for the Spirit of the Lord, and it came to me that I needed to get myself back inside.

So I told the guy, I gotta get back and finish cleaning up, and rather abruptly went back inside.

On the drive home I thought about what had happened, and I thought about Given55's blogpost.

There was an evil presence floating around that moment, that second, this guy pulled up and cranked out his music.

It really freaked me out. I struggle with my own garbage and sin every day. But thank God I have the Holy Spirit inside, protecting me, admonishing me, saving me.

This guy didn't have that, he had something else, and in that moment I felt it.

Pray for this guy who I'll call Joe. (generic enough?)

Larry

Blast From the Past

2008-05-29T09:32:00.000-05:00

You know, they say the past will always catch up with you. What goes around comes around.

They tell you to be careful what you put on the internet because it may, cost you job.

Little did I know a secret documentary I made in the late 80's with my best friend Michael Wilson would one day find the light of day.

We took off of a journey of epic proportions. In search of the ultimate big-foot, Elvis Presley.

Did we find him?

You decide.

Larry

Welcome to the Real World

2008-05-20T23:54:00.000-05:00

Oh, My, Gosh.

I am back in the real world.

It seems I have led quite the sheltered life these last few years. I have been so wrapped up in Church and Celebrate Recovery, School and working at a church that I have forgotten how twisted the world really is.

Now that school is out I am working at a popular Mexican food restaurant here in Tyler.

My first day on the job, and almost every word from my co-workers is a plethora of F-bombs and worse.

My trainer and several others are openly gay. Tales of drinking bouts and sexual conquests seem to be the topic of conversation almost all of the time.

I cannot help but be reminded of my old life before coming back to Jesus. I also have to be careful, because when I get tired my old language, and way of thinking seem to bubble to the surface.

This is how Paul must have felt around the Corinthians.

It is ok though. When asked by the Pharisees why he was hanging around the dregs of society, Jesus told them that the healthy don't need a doctor, the sick do.

I have to figure out how to be a witness.

What a slippery slope eh?

I have been really studying how to be in the world but not of it.

I remember how empty my life was when I lived like there was no tomorrow.

I can't help but think the same for my co-workers.

Please pray for God to open doors for me to share.

And to keep me safe.

Larry

Miracles Do Happen!

2008-04-25T19:54:00.000-05:00

I have to give thanks to Jesus!

I finished my math yesterday!

HOOOORAAYYYYY!!!

I have a few papers to write, and take one more final.

My first year of school will be finished!

I could not have done it without Him!

Praise to my Lord and Savior!

Thank God!

More coming soon.

Larry

Love

2008-04-19T09:48:00.000-05:00

How do we show love today?

What does it mean to love?

Is it giving a man on the corner with a sign ten-dollars? Is it saying prayers with your child before bedtime?

Could it be a teacher going way above and behond the call of duty to help their student?

Of course the answer is all of the above.

My math professor's name is Dr. Judy Taylor. She teaches my college algebra class.

Patience of a saint this woman.

We speak of Job's patience and how he suffered however, he never had to teach older students how to factor.

In a previous post I wrote about destroying my computer in frustration.

She's the only reason I haven't.

Love you Dr. Judy

Larry

White Knuckle Rafting

2008-04-17T17:59:00.000-05:00

I have a confession to make.

I have really blown it this year.

Between school, life, and my own recalcitrant nature, I have completely let my recovery fall by the wayside like a hitch-hiker dissapating in the rearview mirror.

Lack of program + not being a part of something greater than myself has left me bailing water from a cardboard boat in the middle of some giant rapids.

My reaction to life in most cases is panic. And I have found myself hiding from me and my God in an attempt to somehow make it right. Of course this does nothing but worsen the problem.

Life is hidden with rocky shoals and I have done nothing less than chunked my paddle overboard. My knuckles seem to be permanently white.

I have finally recognized this and am taking steps (get it "steps") to rectify where I have gone wrong.

Anyone have a tow-rope?

I know who does.

Larry

Go Speed Go

2008-04-04T16:31:00.001-05:00

If I close my eyes for a moment I can stir a childhood memory.

Spinning music, an opening song and Speed Racer racing around the track in the venerable Mach Five. Other racers try to take him out but only succeed in flipping themselves over the guard rail and into oblivion.

Speed contended with such enemies as the car acrobatic team, the mammoth car made of gold, and some nasty arabs in the great desert race.

I remember every function and sound effect as if I were watching it right now.

How cool is this? They made it into a movie. Here is a link to the trailer.

This is going to be a good summer to eat a lot of popcorn I think.

Not only do we have the Speed Racer movie to look forward to but: Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull, Forbidden City, starring Jackie Chan and Jet Li: Batman-The Dark Knight, Ironman, and last but not least the new Ben Stiller Movie Tropical Thunder.

Escapism seems to be the rule this summer. If we can afford to drive to the theatre.

Happy Viewing!

Larry

GRRRR!

2008-03-31T20:00:00.000-05:00

Oh, My, Gosh

Can there be any bigger pain in the butt than College Algebra?

If anybody would like a moniter with pencil stuck through it please let me know.

Ebay might take it as an oddity, maybe I could market t-shirt pictures of it.

ARRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!

When I get through this it will only be to God's Glory.

There is no way I am getting through this on my own.

Larry

Spring Again

2008-03-27T16:32:00.001-05:00

Oh man, what an awesome day. Seventy something degrees, the wind gusting to twenty miles per-hour, and crystal clear sunshine on a poofy cloud day.

I to want walk barefoot in the fresh grass, and just sit with the sun in my face.

I praise God for the life giving sunshine and the renewing of my spirit.

Each year there comes a time for me when when I realize, winter is over, Spring is here, and there is no more seasonal depression.

Winter gives me the blahs.

Like electroshock therapy, last year's traumas are magically wiped away. Fortunately. I get to retain most of my personality.

Larry

Arizona

2008-03-25T19:24:00.000-05:00

Sadly, I have been tackeled by a bad case of writers block lately. No amount of strain on my brain has allowed me to post anything.

This has been increasingly detrimental to my educational career. I have just been able to pull enough text out of my grey matter to get by.

Spring break was a great experience for me. I was able to go on my first mission trip. Nine of us set out from the LeTourneau campus for the red dust giant, canyon country of North-Western Arizona.

Our mission was to repair some plumbing for the bathrooms on the church propertyand to sand and revarnish twenty-one pews.

We were blessed to spend time with the Navajo. Each day we were up with the sun, as it would curiously peek its head up over the mesas.

The group I traveled with were a great bunch of people. All were 21 and under except for the faculty advisor who had me by six years. (I wasn't the oldest!)

I was struck by two things while gone.

Those who know me best understand that I am just a hyper guy; pretty much spastic.

The Navajo we met were so calm.

Arizona time is slow time. Church property is fast time. The church is one hour ahead. The state does not recognize daylight savings time, but the church does.

The culture of the Navajo is so simplistic. Everything is what it is. I don't think I can properly put it into words. They are a beautiful minded society.

The kids I traveled with were so awesome. They were smart, funny, and serious about their commitment to Jesus. There was a true light shining from each of them, untainted, or jaded yet by the world around them. I felt a joy as my personal cynicism melted while I was gone.

I found myself wanting to be untarnished by the world, and for a while, in that moment my childlike purity returned.

I'll never forget that.

Larry

Egomania

2008-01-27T09:10:00.000-06:00

I've been thinking this morning.

I know, dangerous eh?

Some of you can smell the smoke coming from my ears.

My family and I are headed off to church today for the first time in a month two.

Before the gasps and the judgment, let me explain.

When my family and I came to the Tyler, Texas, area for me to start school I was on a high. I was Mr. Recovery, Mr. Church, Mr. on his way to become a pastor by going to University.

Did I act this way? Nope. In true passive aggressive fashion when I did not recieve the welcome I felt I deserved I backed off. Kept my toe in like the co-dependent I am and ran like a scared rabbit the first chance I got.

Throw in my bi-polar, self-esteem issues and I had effectively isolated myself like a smoker in California.

School and my Job were different. I had to be there everyday. The longer I have stayed the more friends I have made. (ugh, I didn't mean to rhyme.)

So we are off to church today.

With true broken humility.

I might even wear a tie.

Larry

PS. A few changes, I have created another blog, Nausea. I havn't felt right posting worldly stuff on Hallelujahs. News, politics, etc. Please check it out. Helen, I will be disapointed if you don't call me on my stuff over there, You can reach it here.

Fellow bloggers, if you would like a link posted on the new blog let me know. Since its orientation is different than Hallelujahs I wanted to ask first.

Love you guys

Larry

Israel 2008

2008-01-11T18:31:00.000-06:00

I have been offered the opportunity of a lifetime! As many of you know I am studying Christian Ministry at LeTourneau University to become a pastor. My future goal is to follow where the Lord leads me, and reach out to the poor, marginalized, and addicted.

I have been offered a slot in a class called physical settings of the Bible, a ten day trip to Israel that counts for three hours of upper Bible credit, and will be a wonderful addition to my education. It will give me a better understanding of how great our God is by walking in His very footsteps.

As my Biblical Department head Dr. Scott Hummel told me “I hope you will be able to travel with me to Israel in May. It will revolutionize your understanding of the Bible, and it will be a trip of a lifetime.”

This will be no picnic joyride. Our group will be gone for ten days. From early dawn until late night we will tour Galilee, Jerusalem, Beershiva, En Gedi, Gath, Capernaum, and many more places.

Dr. Hummel and our guide Mishi have promised “we will wear you out.” Journals and research paper progress must be turned in daily. In addition, each class member will be required to do an onsite presentation before the entire troup of students, guides, and professors (intimidating to say the least!)

I need your help.

Financial aid is helping to pay a portion of the cost but as a college student soon to be working another job, I am not making the money I used to. Please consider sponsoring me for this trip. The total cost is $3299, this includes airfare, travel in Israel, tips, hotels, three meals a day, and entrance fees.

I am seeking Sponsors who would be willing to contribute $100 to $200 dollars towards this wonderful educational experience of a lifetime, yet any amount will suffice.

The benefits are unimaginable and will contribute mightily to my call to ministry.

Please pray, to see, feel, and hear whether you are led to help out.

All funds must be received by January 28.

Checks should be made out to LeTourneau University with my name and Israel in the "for" section. Please note whether you would like your contribution to be tax-deductible. Please send checks to.

LETU/Larry Hicks
Po Box 7001 #1876
Longview, Texas 75607

Thank you for your consideration and may God bless you.

Larry

How Long?

2007-12-22T12:21:00.000-06:00

How long must we endure this inane election?

Republicans, Democrats, its the same ole garbage. Politics as usual. Milque toast politics at that.

Huckabee fighting the "establishment" yet hiring the "establishment" to run his campaign.

And tell me again why Oprah or Chuck Norris will set me on fire for their candidate? Will Oprah give me a car if I vote for Obama? Will Chuck give me some free excercise equipment?

Obama, running as the outsider, promises to bring change, yet brags about having more Clinton advisors than Hillary.

Hillary is promising everything but the kitchen sink.

Goofballs like Alan Keyes running with no hope of ever being elected. I would include Biden in this category as well.

I honor John Mccain's heroic service and surviving horrendous conditions in a Vietnamese prison camp but does it qualify him to be President?

Same thing with Hillary, she is going to fight for change yet is running on her experience of eight years of making all of Bill's decisions.

And what is the deal anyway with Huckabee and Romney trying to out religion every one?

I have not seen enough of Guliani and Thompson to offer an opinion because all I hear about is Huckabee's floating cross.

This has to be the most annoying Presidential election since I began voting in 1988.

Why would any decent human being ever subject themselves to this process? Oops, of all things politicians are accused of I don't think that is one of them.

We are going to have to hold our nose and vote this year no matter what party we belong to.

Larry

Whats That Sound?

2007-12-15T10:01:00.000-06:00

Hear that?

Thats the sound of thousands of college students getting some sleep. Some are snoring, some are drooling on the pillow, and some are sleepwalking. I know, I am doing all three.

I loved school until the last six weeks of the semester. I felt like the walls were closing in.

Like the trash masher in Star Wars I was up to my elbows in muck.

I wish all my fellow students out there a Merry Christmas, a happy New Year, and lots of good rest. Stretch out on the couch put a pillow over your head and snooze.

Thats what I'm going to be doing.

As long as my wife lets me.

Larry

Revenge of the Turkeys

2007-11-21T14:08:00.000-06:00

School has been kicking my tail. Thank God, Thanksgiving holiday will give me a rest and time to catch up.

I wanted to leave this story with you for the holidays. It needs some work and a lot more fleshing out. I think its pretty funny.

Enjoy.

Revenge of the Turkeys

Thanksgiving 2008, the sky lay over the land like an ephemeral ghost, leaving a creepy cast to the morning. The night before, a comet had shone its gleaming glow across farmer Brown’s many acres. Farmer Brown’s land had been in his family for generations. Since the first Thanksgiving, when the pilgrims celebrated with the Indians at Plymouth Rock, natives were sharing the indigenous turkey bird with the newcomers to the Eastern shore.

The Brown family became fabulously wealthy supplying Turkeys to the Thirteen Colonies. George Washington, Ben Franklin, and Thomas Paine had all sampled the delicious fowl. Down through the years enshrined in Thanksgiving lore the Big Brown Birds as they were called had been feasted on by Presidents, artists, and the super wealthy.

As the Brown family awoke this morning, silence gripped the farm. The rooster had not crowed. The horses did not whinny, and there was no gobble gobble from the barns where thousands of Big Brown Birds lived. Squinting from the eerie dawn light the Farmer Brown and his wife came outside to investigate. As he looked towards the turkey barn he heard a marching sound, the ground rumbled like an earthquake and the fog parted curtain-like revealing a scene that frightened him so badly he fainted.

Farmer Brown’s wife Bessie screamed. She was plump as a cherry tomato is round. Her cheeks were shiny red, with a pointy nose. Her fanny stuck out not unlike a turkeys’ feathery plumage. She stared in shock at what had scared her poor husband into unconsciousness.

Rows upon rows of turkeys marched through lanes of the farm. Looking like army ants carving trails in the grass as they advanced towards the wealthy country folk. Farmer Brown came to just in time to be wrapped up and taken towards the prep barn where the birds were cleaned and processed for shipment across the country. Bessie was dragged along behind like a worm on a fishing pole that had not been reeled in. Ominously the barn doors closed with a loud bang.

Several hours later several birds stood around a large turkey fryer. The propand flames beneath the fryer had set the oil boiling in the metal cauldron furiously. The head turkey passed out cigars as they made sure the temperature was at a constant 350 degrees. Taking a large drag off of his stogie the chief glanced at the timer. Inside the house the female birds opened the oven and basted the contents.

As noon approached the sun’s cool rays lit up the dreary, cold afternoon. One of the Big Brown Birds looked longingly at the large metal triangle in the middle of the yard. Rubbing his belly with delight he began to ring the dinner bell.

I can hear the groans now. Let me know what you think.

May the Grace of God be with you.

Larry

Michael Wilson

2007-11-08T17:49:00.000-06:00

First grade, the beginning of my academic career is when I first met my best friend, Michael Wilson. Mikey, had a shock of blond feathery hair, was heavy set bordering on chunky, and he wore glasses. We hit it off like peas and carrots right away. In fact, his father called us Laurel and Hardy; I was skinny as a rail and Mikey was the polar opposite. His mother, Mrs. Wilson, called me Eddie Haskell.

My friend was quiet but mischievous; and no one knew what he was up to. Our Physical Education teacher Ms. Brewster, a Martina Navratilova look alike, discovered us eating Red Fox chewing tobacco in the musty, and decrepit old gym. Mike quietly argued there was no rule against what we were doing. She bucked it all the way up to the principle for a ruling on whether or not we could.

When FM Christian radio was a new born baby in the 1980’s, Mike was determined to be involved, in his words “I was able have fun and get paid for it.” Plus, he was able to dally like a tinker in all of that expensive sound equipment. He became a DJ at fifteen and graduated high school early to become KSBJ’s program director. Along the way he met and networked with a slew of minor dj’s, Christian musical artists and secular bands.

Like a child of the depression Michael never throws anything away. In fact, where most of us chunked or fire crackered our toys away, he kept them stashed, not because he knew they would be collector’s pieces but because he is a packrat. He has tapes recorded off of listener sponsored radio (the dirty stuff we thought was so funny as kids), older than dirt Earth Wind and Fire posters, velvet Elvis paintings and even a tape of our dead friend Rex’s poor attempts at impersonating Richard Pryor.

In the early nineties he and his wife moved to Nashville, Tennessee, to work for WAY FM, Nashville’s first Christian Radio station. All of those contacts made earlier blossomed like a Tyler rose. Old friends led to new, and his long time other hobby without working, computers, led him to retire from radio. Gen-X Communications, a Bill Gates type endeavor, who was working out of a garage, led to an international Christian country music radio program spreading its tentacles around the world. Ironically, Michael despises country music the way a Baptist does a Jehovah’s Witness.

In 1997 Mad Dancer Media was born, an evolved version of Gen-X Communications, pioneering web design and enhanced cds. Michael has worked with a who’s who of recording artists, Michael W. Smith, DC. Talk, the Gaithers, Chris Tomlin, and most recently Michael Card. Mikey has a personality like a popular game show host and the self-taught know how of an MIT graduate. A lethal and effective combination linking brains and charm, not only in business, but for God’s greater glory, all of his work other than radio began as a ministry to others.

Michael is still a big guy, as his business has grown so has he. He has a petite little wife named Marilyn who missions to Moldova every year. He has two daisy pretty girls as towheaded as their mother and a son who is following in his daddy’s footsteps. Jonathan has taught himself to use the latest and greatest types of computers and sound equipment, a real chip off the old block. While I am finally completing the pinnacle of my education, we talk of old times, sharing a laugh of old ribald toilet humor. Like Siamese twins, Laurel and Hardy never grow apart.

Larry

Travel Tales

2007-11-06T19:26:00.000-06:00

I love to spend the day with my wife, Lisa. She is blond, vivacious, and has the same sick, goofy sense of humor I do. We have been married thirteen years. She is my true long lost love of my life.

Lisa and I travel together better than anyone I know. We are two kindred spirits of like mind in our taste for adventure through the rugged United States. Crisscrossing the map between Tennessee, Colorado, Arkansas, North Carolina, Louisiana, and we drive to all points in between. I rag her about being a blind navigator on a B52 bomber, and she rags me about my demolition derby style of driving.

We would take a day trip to the Texas hill country, stopping first for gas, Dr. Peppers, and pork rinds you know the type, they are salty enough to kill a horse, and hard enough break a crown on your root canal. With our quota of junk food, we head off into the unknown. We have been known to chunk a coin on a map and then go wherever it lands.

We landed on Port Lavaca one Saturday morning and headed off into the blue. Hot black top peeled the tires on a hot August day. She had the map and I had the plan, we were going to go fishing, right off the pier in Lavaca bay.

Lisa and I rolled into town after a long drive through the coastal praire, passing through such venerable towns as Victoria and Goliad. We were exposed to a telling snapshot of Texas history when we lollygagged through Mission La Bahia and the Presidio that guards it. Port Lavaca was a grungy place, a typical Texas fishing town. Lots of blue collar dudes with grease up to their elbows and smelling like the catch of the day, in Port Lavaca you either fish for a living or, are going fishing after you make your living.

We had one problem - no fishing poles. We cruised on over to the Wal-mart, we needed to rectify our lack of angling tools. Walking down the sporting goods isle, we scanned for tackle. First, a rod and reel, second, weights, and hooks. As we were checking out and paying for our stuff, I asked the tall, lean, inbred looking teen behind the counter where the best place to fish was. “In the water” was his reply. I am not the most brilliant bulb in the box (the real bulbs, not those squiggly things that would have Edison spinning in his grave) but I had figured that out already. I wanted to know what part of town was the best.

We had one more stop to make, the bait house. By now Lisa and I are starting to feel like a couple of hillbillies at a black tie dinner. Hurrying to complete our purchase before they guys from deliverance show up, we bought shrimp, shad, and some stink bait. We discovered why everybody in town smelled so good.

The fishing was lame, I have a picture of Lisa proudly holding a tiny croaking dogfish that someone should have shaved and made to swim backwards. Since it swallowed the hook, I had to gingerly cut the sucker in half so I wouldn’t get finned. I get the chills every time I hear the croaking sound of that fish in my dreams. Lisa and I spent the night in a fleabag motel with wood paneling, Captain’s wheel lamps, red shag carpeting, and lots of roaches. I am still in therapy for post traumatic stress disorder from the size of some of those bugs.

We finished off our trip the next day and luckily no further incidents occurred. So, if you like thousand yard stares into your soul and West Virginia inbred types, then Port Lavaca is for you. Watch out for dogfish, and if you see Merle at the sporting goods counter in the Wal-mart, tell him I said hi.

Larry

Humble Ghost Lights

2007-11-05T17:27:00.000-06:00

Way back in the mid eighties three friends and I set out from a DeMolay meeting at the Masonic Temple off of main street in Humble, Texas. Wayne Bell, Steve Pritchard, and I stepped out into the chilly wind and headed towards my house. It was a walk but back then in Humble, a safe one. Main street in Humble goes back a hundred or more years and it hasn’t changed much since. Old buildings like ghosts shivered in the Texas breeze as we walked down the dilapidated main drag towards South Houston Avenue.

Steve was six foot tall, had a Mohawk haircut and a whatever degree in tae kwon do, he was an intimidating fellow. Wayne, a fellow schoolmate at Humble High had been my best friend in middle school, but we fell out out when we ran away to Dallas in his daddy’s custom van. I was the clown, the prankster, the self deprecating, hide your feelings with humor guy of the bunch.

We walked the half mile to South Houston Avenue and shivered in our jackets like Jell-O at the kiddy table on Thanksgiving. We griped and moaned about the cold and kidded each other about which Rainbow girl we wanted to take to the next dance. There were very few cars out as it was ten o clock on a week night. Dodging the leaves on the lonely road we crossed South Houston.

Crossing our path like a black cat lays the Humble, Cemetery, inside the chain link fence there are headstones going back 150 years or more. The only people who will be buried now bought their plot decades ago. Looking carefully you will see headstones with Husband 1933 to 1975 on one side and Wife 1939 to --- on the other. The husband eagerly awaits the arrival of his long lost mate to sooth his rest.

The cemetery is a shortcut you hop the fence and cut catty cornered across the field, scrupulously not stepping on any graves. We always said if you stepped on one you were being disrespectful, truly I thought we would be dragged down into the ground to join the dead’s slumber party. Gingerly we climbed the fence and cut across.

Halfway through, one of us stepped on a tree branch, Crack! we all jumped ten feet and ducked behind a stone wondering what happened. Looking around I could see and hear the wind whipping through the naked trees as the moonlight cast funky shadows on the ground. Each gust, threw weird lights across our faces. Out of the corner of my eye I saw two heavy set women walking hand in hand on the side walk in front of the graveyard. Sneakily we stayed down behind the headstone and plotted our prank. It was simple really, on the count of three we would wail like banshees over and over again. Steve suggested a howling wolf noise but he was voted down in favor of the banshee.

One, stifle the laughter, two, take a deep breath, three, let it rip. We laid out the loudest, scariest howl ever created by the human voice. The noise was garbled between the banshee wail and the unstoppable regurgitation of laughter.

The two gals, bless their hearts, went from a huddled stroll in a Texas norther to a Carl Lewis sprint, I have never seen women that size run so fast. Rounding the corner they crossed Isaacs street and disappeared like phantoms into the shadowy, surreal night.

Walking on to my house I don’t think any of us stopped laughing. We had the rictus grin of frozen smiles locked into a permanent position. Arms around each other, vowing never to forget this moment we staggered the remaining mile to my home.

Larry

Simply Simpatico

2007-10-26T20:46:00.000-05:00

Oh lord, when something like this gets started it is tough to reign in.

When I was a kid we used to play dogpile. Who ever picked up the foot ball, the entire neighbor hood would tackle him and pile on.

This is happening today, and it is like a demented freight train, half derailed, and half still moving forward until it all collapses on one Bobby Caina Calvan. Bobby is a reporter for the Sacremento Bee who recently found himself in Iraq, after today he probably wishes Al Queda had kidnapped him.

You must read Bobby's blog entry, and then the comments before it was shut down.

Two warnings,

One, the blog entry is disgusting enough as it is but nothing offensive other than Mr. Calvan's boorish behavior.

Two, some of the comments to his blog post are vulgar so forwarned is forearmed. You adults out there should read it no matter what, rarely do we ever get to see a meltdown of these proportions.

I'll spruce this post later, for now enjoy. Simpatico, Bobby Caina Calvan.

Larry

Eternity

2007-10-23T11:42:00.001-05:00

Michael Card Lecture

2007-10-13T13:56:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago our Foundations for Christian Ministy class was fortunate to have Michael Card Come and speak to us.

Michael Card is one of the pioneers of Christian music. He wrote the song El-Shaddai and Emmanuel. His career spans over twenty years, and he has authored fourteen books.

The following is my report on his visit.

Day 1

I thoroughly enjoyed the time Michael Card spent with us. His music in chapel was wonderful, thoughtful and poetic. Each song opened my eyes to a new way of thinking.

The lecture time with Mr. Card simply put, awesome! The diagram of Philippians 2: 6-11 again opened my eyes to new ways of thinking. In Christian and secular recovery the context of radical reversal is “you have to surrender to win”. Secular recovery means surrendering to the program. Christian 12 step, surrender to Christ. Men can’t seem to get over the surrender part. They have been told for years surrender is disgraceful.

These are my favorite radical reversals, Servant/Lordship, Exaltation/Humility and obedience. (Funny, that’s all of them) Let’s not forget obedience. He spoke of how Jesus was a true revolutionary redefining everything. His teaching was so against the culture of that time.

Michael humanized the New Testament for me, telling us about Jesus’ cooking skills for the disciples. He called out the “take up your mat and walk guy” by showing us the whiny fool he really was. The blind man whose sight was restored by Jesus really made the Sanhedrin look foolish.

He wrapped it up with humility, you aren’t your gift. What a trap the devil sets for us. We start to believe our own press. We become arrogant and foolish. Jesus met people where they were. If all you can see is yourself you can’t do this.

Day 2 Laments

All of the “wisdom” books of the bible seemed to be searching for someone. For all of Solomon and Job’s knowledge they knew something was missing. Isaiah was shown the “suffering servant” but the “go between” (Christ) would not appear for many years.

Michael also spoke of everybody having laments.

Another radical reversal, only when broken are we made whole.

Theodicy focused my attention as well. I have always heard that argument, If God is love how come there is suffering in the world? We live in a sinful world, unperfected. However Jesus is the world’s suffering, he is in Darfur, concentration camps, my life. We have to take up our cross and follow Him.

Mr. Card really focused a lot of loose ends for me. I have always seen bits and pieces of what he talked about in my mind. I have never been able to connect the dots. I am very blessed to have learned from this man. I will be reading his books, and listening to his albums. I hope he comes back again and again.

Larry

Future Shock

2007-10-10T23:24:00.000-05:00

Since beginning school I have been exposed to new ideas, new concepts.

When I arrived at LeTourneau my mind was set on what I wanted to do when I graduated.

We are now at midterms and my mission seemingly has transformed.

I am no longer sure if being a Celebrate Recovery pastor is the future.

There, I said it. Its out there in the open. Have I grown past it, or does God want me on a different track?

I have two choices right now.

One, to participate in a CR step study at my new church, with the ultimate goal of beginning a new Celebrate Recovery at the church. Safe, comfortable, been there done that. When I first arrived here it is what I wanted. (notice how I said "what I wanted."

Two, there a huge number of witnessing type things offered by LeTourneau student missions. On of them is to a halfway house for men in recovery. This is an actual go to em and spread the Gospel. I have always wanted to do it, but have always been tentative, like a puppy going through a semi-open door.

I won't have time for both, school and work overwhelm me as it is. So, I have a decision to make, safe and comfortable in my lazy boy, or taking the plunge out of my zone.

Praying will help stimulate my decision. Pray for me to gain the wisdom of what to do.

I know what I want, I need to make sure it is what He wants.

Larry

Making Sense

2007-10-08T22:24:00.000-05:00

Our world is senseless.

Events occur we'll never understand.

I went to school with a guy named Len Gustafson whom I didn't know very well.

His mother was one of my my teachers.

Last week he was killed by a drunk driver in a horrible car accident, leaving behind a wife and two children.

They interviewed his family on the news and it broke my heart to see their grief. I can only guess the agony Len's wife and children must be going through.

Please pray for Len's family. Pray also for his friends.

Larry

Psalm 13

2007-10-07T19:56:00.000-05:00

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me, forever?

How long will You hide Your face from me?

How Long must I wrestle with my

Thoughts,

And everyday have sorrow in my heart?

How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, O Lord, my God.

Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;

my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"

and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

But I trust in Your unfailing love;

my heart rejoices in Your salvation.

I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me.

Another one of those "here is where I am today."

Hmm, I caught the slide this time. I cannot do this on my own. I can't do it at all.

Only Him.

Larry

Christians and Politics

2007-10-06T15:46:00.000-05:00

What place do Christians have in politics?

Is it something we should even mess with? As I grow closer in my walk with God, and learning more about Jesus I am inclined to view the world differently. I am forced to take a second look to ideals I have held for years. I have viewed the world with a conservitive lens for as long as I can remember.

In high school we had representatives of the Republican and Democratic parties visit our economics class. I grilled the heck out of the Democrat. How can you be for abortion? How can you be against SDI, the strategic defense initiative, otherwise know as star wars? My parents affected me sure, but most of my values are common sense to me.

How do Christian values play out in all of this?

I believe homosexuality is a sin, it's wrong. Why however, are certain groups wasting all this time and money to battle the "gay" agenda? Who is witnessing and showing them God's love? When I came back to Christ I had a major past to get over. When I honestly repented the holy spirit began the sanctification process. God won't work that way with gays? Why send missions to Africa, how about San Francisco? Is sodomy worse than the preacher having an affair with the church secretary?

Jesus preached to the poor and the despised. What about illegal aliens swarming over the border? Who is witnessing to them?

What about athiests and the left? Why are we debating and fighting? Who is praying and witnessing to them? A lot of athiests and agnostics went to churches where the pastor was sleeping with the church secretary. Who is showing them the real love of Christ?

Where are todays Peter's and Paul's?

What ever happened to hate the sin love the sinner? Pray for our enemies? The great commandment?

Just some stuff rattling around in my head.

Blessings!

Larry

School Writings

2007-10-01T17:33:00.000-05:00

Every so often I would like to share writing I've been doing at school.

Constructive criticism would be nice, no tomatos.

This is the LeTourneau clock tower it lies in the middle of the campus.

This paragraph is from a descriptive writing assignment.

You have to imagine a sunny but cool autumn breezy day.

This is the only picture I could find of the tower. I wahooed it from a fellow student.

The Bench

I sat upon a bench by the clock tower. Shadows and light danced through the waving trees throwing their reflection on the ground and sidewalk. The color of the brick flickered as the sun shone. Golden, then red, golden, then maroon the hues changing with the wind. The breeze caressing my hands and neck giving me a quiet but exhilarating chill as the sun shone on my face like a warm heating pad. I forgot about my stuffy nose, the white droppings of the birds on the tower bells and my achy body. Everything came together in that moment and I was still and knew God.

A bit cheesy perhaps but my first foray into this type of writing.

Larry

End of an Era

2007-09-28T17:47:00.000-05:00

There is a moment in life where you can't do certain things anymore.

Like a glued together pixie stick some things hang by a thread.

My wife and I took our family to dollar night at the East Texas State Fair. All my girls from smallest to tallest went with us.

The smell of exotic fair foods wafted like fingers beckoning a stranger to some mysterious delight. Gigantic turkey legs, sausage on a stick, cajun boudin, and funnel cakes were devoured by the hungry mob walking purposfully towards the next ride. The girl's eyes were huge taking in the whirling dervish of lights illuminating the fair.

I knew the tilta-whirl would most likely make me loopy and nauseous, it did not disapoint. Eyes glued to my kids, the ride couldn't stop fast enough. Bow-legs trembling like rubberbands we spun off to the next torture device.

Alexis wanted to ride the Orbiter, a maniacal contraption designed to spin, toss, and hurl you into space. Believing myself superman like Lexie and I boarded the ride. The carny pulled the lever and away we went. Horizontaly spinning along the axis, pulling up vertically, and spinning like a cat in a washing machine. I realized my mistake.

There's a reason signs are posted stating pregnant women, people with heart problems, and you guessed it, back injuries shouldn't ride this ride. I figured I was healed and I am, however the g- forces of the ride threatened to pull all of that titanium out of my back. I dug my heels in to hold myself steady, my spine went the other way. It was a petulant child trying to get to the animal machine at Walmart.

I had figured those signs were just legal disclaimers. They mean what they say. Thank God all that beautiful work didn't become undone. My advice? Pay heed to the signs, else you end up next to the bearded lady and the guy who guesses your weight.

The man with the flying spine could make some bucks.

You think?

I'm going to miss roller coasters.

Larry

Big Toe Bactrim Blues

2007-09-17T13:12:00.000-05:00

Owwwwwww!

Ever hurt yourself badly enough that all common sense goes out the window? The kind of hurt that transcends reality?

The devil really uses that eh? After that toolbox drawer fell four feet onto my big toe I let out a string of bad words that you wouldn't believe.

My toe bled a lot and It split the toe-nail in half. Luckily it didn't break and no stitches were required.

Beautiful experience, a trip to the ER. (where's Lou when you need her?) We waited 30 minutes to be triaged, throb throb. Then 45 minutes to go back to room six, throb, throb, burn. 15 minutes to be X-rayed. Then the piece' de resistance a 20 minute soak in some freezing betadine.

I got a wooden shoe, bandages, a scrip for bactrim and a nice limp, oh did mention no school or work today?

Right, no school, playing ketchup. The bactrim is chewing up my stomach. I really thought about writing a song about the whole experience.

(to the tune of your favorite blues song)

I've got the big toe bactrum blues!

Pulled out the drawer
fell on my toes
all full of tools
what pain! and off we goes

I've got the big toe bactrim blues!

I get to the back
I get an x-ray
nothing broken! Hey uh heyyyy!

I've got the big toe bactrim blues!

The nurse scrubbed my toes
in beta-dine
it was so cold!
I lost my mind

I've got the big toe bactrim blues

I got a wooden shoe so i could go home
No bending my toes
gotta get my scrip, bactrim baby!
My stomach is ripped

I've got the big toe bactrim blues

My woman left me! Toe looked so black
She couldn't take it, she lit out for Hackensack
Heya heyyy!

I've got the big toe bactrim blues

(wife didn't really leave, she has done a good job of taking care of me!
no pain pills were involved in the writing of this song)

Thank you and Goodnight!

Larry

Service

2007-09-14T13:07:00.000-05:00

Jesus said, we are to love one another. Therefore like Him we must serve one another.

If you have a servants heart it is pretty easy to serve at church, school and the community.

What about at home?

Sadly, I find myself lacking in this department. Remember the post I shared about being selfish?

Selfish with time, and labor for the most importants in my life. I have gotten better but there is still room for improvement especially since there are nine of us living together in a cracker box.

My wife works all day comes home and finds herself having to do things she shouldn't have to. Where am I? Not picking up the slack as I should.

I am commited to fixing it.

I start out with a bang but I find my staying power stinks. I pray for the discipline to maintain the "surge".

Home is where the heart is.

Keep it sacred

Larry

Blah Blah Blah!

2007-09-10T12:51:00.000-05:00

Let me preface this post.

This is not I repeat not a bipolar rant! No slide down the ramp here today.

I have the don'ts today. I'll admit it I lollygagged on my homework this weekend and had to stay up late last night to get it done. Got to bed around two am.

The days of me staying up late to do work are gone. I cannot afford to slack.

I am too tired today.

Things that happen when I am tired.
1. Discipline is a real chore. (focus)
2. Yawning way too much.
3. I get touchy, little emotional things become big emotional things.
4. Due to number three I put my wall up. (safety)

I am still adjusting to school and the move. I have not really connected with any friends here yet. It is difficult, I don't live on campus and working prohibits coming to evening events. Sitting alone in chapel and lunch gets tedious after awhile. That's ok though, God knows where I am at and He will provide when it is time.

On the Home Front we joined a church. Compared to First Baptist Atascocita this place is huge. God is really working there.

Friendly Baptist Church, the pastor is wonderful and the folks there are well, Friendly. I will get plugged in as quick as I can.

I also miss my "band of brothers", my best friends whom I have been through the wars with. Talking on the phone isn't the same as hanging out.

See, told you I was touchy.

What are blogs for.

Larry

Incarnational Ministry

2007-09-06T12:57:00.000-05:00

School is really incredible. I get to learn and be spritually fed at the same time. I have already learned new concepts in ministry that just boggle my mind.

Incarnational ministry is nothing new. I have had snippets of the concept, and in the back of my head had it rolling around but could never make it cohesive. It is still rambling around up there and always will be.

My thoughts so far on what I have learned. Incarnational ministry is what Jesus did. The word becoming flesh. Jesus basically went to the people, he met them where and how they lived.

This is what we should be practicing today except we wall ourselves in to our churches and do "outreach", which is good but, not enough. We are essentially building walls around our comfort zones.

We go to church get our worship and lesson time. Maybe we go wednesday night and have food, fellowship, and fun. We tend to each other's needs spiritually and physically. What about the rest of the world?

Remember, my thinking on this is in the infant stage, and nothing I am saying here is new. I am fleshing out my thoughts. Some of you will say, cool! I never thought of this and some of you will go DUH!

Most churches I have attended or seen operate on a build it or lose it principle. There is always expansion. They construct new gyms, worship centers, nurseries or kidzones. These things are cool and they show that christians can fellowship and have fun outside of this nutty sinful world. However, how does this satisfy the great commandment?

I have no idea. I haven't gotten to that class yet.

Celebrate Recovery is the same. We post flyers, get in the newspapers have events but we are still drawing people not going to them. CR prison ministries do just that but for a lot of local churches it is attraction that brings folks in. Sometimes people bring friends, and we get to fellowship in small groups about our hurts habits and hang-ups. How does this "take it to the streets like Jesus did?

I am not speaking of missions overseas. Most of these brave, called individuals are trained to go amongst the people and cultures of where they are at. (did I just use the word amongst?)

What about here in the great USA?

How do we get to that guy who goes to work, comes home, and plops down in front of the Tv or X-Box? He never sees the light of day.

What about the lost woman who's reason for living is to find companionship that never works out, or the lost who know they aren't, living right but have no idea of an alternative other than Oprah, or Dr. Phil.

It is a culture of self, they see nothing but what is in front of their faces. There is no hope. I know because I lived like this for years. Finding solace in the party that never satisfies.

How do we take it to them?

Larry

Computer Lab

2007-09-03T13:16:00.000-05:00

Guess where I am? School between classes. Coming to you almost live from a computer lab deep inside Letourneau University.

Very cool eh?

I am making some adjustments to font and color. I have never really flirted with this.

I am trying to make Hallelujahs easier to read.

Pray for Mrs. Norma today. She may have had a stroke or heart attack this morning.

Blessings!

Larry

The Bipolar Roller Coaster

2007-09-02T22:48:00.000-05:00

After a carefull review of my blog posts I have discovered a few things.

1. Some of it is pretty good writing.

2. Could I possibly be anymore bipolar?

3. How about co-dependent?

Now I am not the sharpest tool in the shed, but why didn't you guys diagnose this for me?

How many times did I post with, "sorry I havn't posted for a while things have been stressfull". "I have been busy".

Oh my gosh and then the old, I am finally in God's will, my heart is on fire for my mission again. IE: Top of the roller coaster. Followed by I think I am dying. The bottom.

Man, I hit bottom quick too.

I'm making a promise that will probably be broken. No more I'm king of the hill ma!

No more Titanic sayings "I'm king of the world!"

Let's get to the good stuff shall we? I love school! It is a true blessing from God. I have never felt so at peace in my entire life. No anxiety, no depression, no fear.

Whatever happens happens.

I am so blessed to have this opportunity. No way am I taking this for granted.

I have waited for a while to say that. I didn't want this to be a repeat of past posts.

Up, do you hear the clanking of the cars going up the chain?

Feel the pause before the bottom drops out?

The rushing of the wind as you hit the drop?

That is how my brain has worked for as long as I can remember.

Cool revelation, one of my assignments in english comp is to set up a blog here on blogger. I am already ahead of the curve eh?

Let me know if I start to get whiny again... The only thing I may whine about is homework.

Even then it is such a blessing I may not.

Larry

Long Week's Journey Into Next Week

2007-08-25T19:57:00.000-05:00

It is official, I am a college student at 38 years old.

No biggie, lots of people older than me go back to their education.

For some reason this has been a dream. I have been waiting for the rug to jerked out from under me. Sorry no financial aid. You can't come here, go home.

When signed for my books I totally knew it was going to happen. Can you believe $607 dollars for books?

Thursday I signed into the school and got my time for picking my classes the next year.

Let me tell you I felt like I was in a sea of twelve year olds. No disrespect intended. They seemed so young! I did not see anyone enrolling that looked have my age. Not that I'm really old but wow, I managed to be just a tad self concious.

Friday was better. I met my academic advisor he helped me to decide which classes to take. I'm doing 15 hours. Schedule is as follows.

Intro to Phychology (Getting to know why I am taking crazy pills.)

Foundation to Christian Ministry (My adviser teaches this class. I like him, score!)

English Comp 1 (I actually get to learn how to write properly. My blogging should improve.)

Intermediate Algebra (My kid brings fractions home and my brain melts.)

Biblical Literature. (Learning how to really really study the bible.)

I go Monday, Tuesday, and Friday. Not bad eh?

I think I got a hernia carring my books home from the store. You would'nt believe the calculator they tried to sell me. You have to go to MIT just to learn how to work it. I went with ole trusty. (The one where you actually understand the symbols on it?)

I am nothing but praising God for this opportunity. I have a part time job working at a church, I actually get paid to do what I love!! How cool is that?

Everything is a blessing for me now. The shadow of the last two years seem to finally be fading.

How Great Is Our God indeed!

Larry

Poison Ivy

2007-08-21T18:56:00.000-05:00

Isn't there a song about poison ivy? The Coasters sang it right? I think there was a movie about it too. Some chick ruins a family or something.

Let me tell you, the real thing is worse! Painful, itching, scabby, nasty I would rather have a good burn or broken arm. I have no idea where I got it from either.

The good ole homestead here in Tyler is something of a throwback. Our house is over 40 years old and small. We went from 3300 square feet to somethng like 1300 with one teeny-weeny little bathroom. I have all my girls and the two dogs. It has been quite the learning experience.'

1. My showers now last two minutes.

2. There is no such thing as going to the bathroom in privacy anymore.

3. No dishwasher

4. When we first moved in, no dryer. All we had were 110 plugs, it was set up for a
gas dryer. What the heck is a gas dryer?

You know what? I love it. All my life I have been so spoiled it's nice to be a bit primitive for a change.

I sign in to Letourneau University on the 23rd and register for classes on the 24th. On Monday the 27th I'll be wearing the old college beanie! Did I just use the word beanie in a sentence?

I can't wait to throw the frisbee on the quad, and get a raccoon coat! One of my best friends and fellow university attender at U of H says I've seen to many movies.

Somehow I don't think Letourneau Is going to be like Animal House.

My major will be Biblical ministry with a possible minor in cross cultural evangelism, or a youth track. I'm not entirely sure. Where ever God wants me I'll go.

I am just thankful I didn't get the poison ivy somewhere personal.

Larry

Welcome to Tyler

2007-08-01T12:24:00.001-05:00

This will be a quick post. I want everyone to know that I am alive and well and living now in Tyler, Texas.

It has been a difficult time packing, loading, unloading, unpacking. We are whooped.

The good news is that I have been accepted into Letorneau University in Longview, Texas.
I will be Majoring in Biblical Studies, the minor? I don't know yet.

Right now I am praying for all of the financial aid to come through so I can start in the fall. If not,spring will be fine. Whatever God's will is I will follow. When I have a bit more time I will get back to you with the gory details and links.

Prayers appreciated!

Blessings!

Larry

Has it Been That Long?

2007-07-09T17:42:00.001-05:00

Has it really been that long since I last posted?

Wow, I have really been slack lately. A lot is going on in my life. Changes for the future. Changes for what God has been calling me to do. I have been afraid of taking the plunge. Now I am ready.

Now I am preparing for rain in the fields.

Please pray for my family and I as we make these changes. I will give more information a bit later.

Tune in next week... For another chapter in the drama of Larry!

And now a word from our sponsor Soapy Suds Bathroom Cleaner!

I will try and post again tonight or tomorrow with an explanation. Everything is for the better and for the Glory of God.

Blessings!

Larry

Ps. Guess which one is me.

Yesterday, Where I Was

2007-06-21T09:05:00.000-05:00

To You O' Lord I lift my soul

Save me from myself.

Change me from the inside out

Show me the path from darkness

So I might shine in Your Holy Light

Burn away my impurities

Help me open all my rooms to You

Christ Jesus Save me from my open Wounds

Heal my aching heart

With Your Never ending Love

Let me feel the joy of Heaven above

Give me peace from my Troubled Soul

Make me Whole

I cry out to You,

sometimes with no answer

I allow sin to drive me away

Protect me with Your armour

Keep me safe today

I am sifted like wheat

I bring it on myself

I have no direction

Will You show me the way

I realize I am dense

It takes me awhile to get it

Shorten the time O' Lord

Let me surrender to Your will

I am stubborn and my heart

is hardened

Soften it O' God I pray

You gave me Christ

Because of Your Love

He died for me

to escape Your Wrath

Bring me peace dear Father

Your beauty is unrivaled

This world so intricate and fine

I have to pray

I have no desire to stay

Come Lord Jesus Come

Rescue me from this pain

Take me where there is no sin,

No corruption

Lift me up on wings like eagles

I want to run and not faint

Larry

Happy Fathers Day

2007-06-17T22:19:00.000-05:00

What a day, did I mention I got a new backpack? It's a Hurley skater pack. Cool huh? I needed a new pack for my biking. My stepdaughter Tara got it for me. It even has straps to hold a skateboard to it.

Oh yeah, Can't wait to strap on a new stick. Sha right, like totally bogus man, like I need some more grindage on my spine.

I know I know, I am totally uncool.

My other stepdaughter Theresa bought me the Lord of The Rings online. It is my new preeciousss! Hope I have time to really play it.

Lexie my sweet nine year old soon to be ten got me some cool t-shirts.

I got a lot of loving from my girls today. That was better than any gift.

You know the song "Freedom" by Darrell Evans? I sang it at church today to the Iworship video. All my girls held up signs while I was singing that said We love Dad, You rock dad, etc. etc.

My best friend Mike sent me an Email today sort of nagging at me as to why I hadn't done a Father's day post. He thought maybe the recent drama with my family was affecting me or something. Two weeks ago it would have.

I saw my dad at church today and gave him a great big hug. Actually picked him up off the ground. (See, excercise works after surgery) Told him I loved him, and gave him a kiss. I love my dad.

See I am learning In my (oh no! I can here you groaning, not more program!) Sixth step what the true extent of my character defects are. My last post I spoke of my discovery of being truly selfish. (Like anyone else couldn't tell.) I am holding on to some resentments harder than I should. What better day to start relieving them than Father's Day?

What a blessing our Heavenly Father Has given us. Did you tell Him Happy Father's Day? I did, not for what He has done for me. But for who He is.

Thank you to everyone who stopped by to wish me a Happy Father's Day. Y'all made it complete!

Larry

So Long Self

2007-06-08T22:27:00.000-05:00

Ahhh the sweet feelings of spiritual awaking. Flowers in the spring, fresh falling snow in the winter. Sunset on a summers eve. Recognizing your primary character defect?

Priceless.

I am a selfish person. There I have said it. I have admitted it to the world. The mask has fallen, scales have dropped from my eyes.

Since recovery started for me four and a half years ago I have known I was self-centered or else why would I have drank, used drugs, people and possesions? The exact depth of my selfish self- seeking self (Please allow myself to introduce my--self.) I never really understood until today.

From my hard partying days to my recovery, delusions of my own grandeur abounded.

I have always focused on the exterior, the symptoms, drugs and alchohol, lust.

Me me me, I'm a victim. Oh my gosh stuff just keeps falling into place.

If only mom and dad hadn't done this. If only my friend hadn't done that.

Sheesh, is there anything greater than the freedom of God leading you to self realization? Is there anything greater than Christ doing for us what we could not do for ourselves?

None of this would have been possible with out Jesus. None of this would have been possible without my doing a thorough inventory (step 4) and confessing to God and my sponsor the exact nature of my wrongs (step 5).

People choke on these two steps. They would rather run screaming from the room than face their wrongs. I certainly know I procrastinated for ever.

I say, God brought me to it when he knew I was ready.

See what I said, selfish

I leave you with the lyrics of one of the greatest recovery songs ever.

My song.

So Long Self - Mercy Me

Well if I come across a little bit distant.
It's just because I am. Things just seem to feel
a little bit differentYou understand. Believe it or not but life is not
apparently About me anyways But I have met the One who really is worthy So let
me say.
So long, self
Well, it's been fun, but I have found somebody else. So long, self There's just no room for two So you are gonna have to move So long, self Don't take this wrong but you are wrong for me, farewell Oh well, goodbye, don't cry So long, self.
Stop right there because I know what you're thinking.
But no we can't be friends And even though I know your heart is breaking This has to end And come to think of it the blame for all of this Simply falls on me For wanting something more in life than all of this Can't you see?
Don't feel so bad (don't feel so bad)
There'll be better days (there'll be better days)
Don't go away mad (but by all means)
Just go away, go away.
So long, self
Well, it's been fun, but I have found somebody else So long, self There's just no room for two So you are gonna have to move So long, self Don't take this wrong but you are wrong for me, farewell Oh well, goodbye, don't cry
So long Self

Larry

Heavy Duty

2007-06-07T19:34:00.000-05:00

Therefore confess your sins to one another and pray for each other so that you may be healed.
James 5:16

Ever have one of those days where you get a bunch of stuff off your chest and exhaustion sets in? Mental drainage? It s nothing a good run or bike ride wouldn't cure but I havn't the energy to get up, get going.

First Therapy, therapy days always drain me. It doesn't matter whether I go early or later in the afternoon. Dealing with your issues can really wear you out. My therapist hit me with some good stuff. "If every thing was perfect with your family how would your life be?" I rattled off a few answers, "work would be better." "anxiety would be gone" etc.

She then smacked the daylights out of me. "Wow, you sure are giving them a lot of power eh?" Nice huh? If she had been my sponsor I might have retorted with a colorful metaphor. She however is a proffessional and I have to give her her due. Great Logic there. I am stealing it to use on my sponsees.

Second, fith step. This is the step where you process all that stuff you put in your fourth step. Anxietys, fears, resentments, good stuff, bad stuff all on paper in columns where you can see your part in each of those areas. It is important to keep it balanced. A good sponsor will make sure you do.

I have done my fourth and fith step before. Having no one else at the time I used my pastor to help me through it. Honestly I left a bunch out. I told him some juicy stuff but some? Uh uh.

Man, what a burden. It took me a month to write it. and almost a month to set the time to read it. The first time was easier. Started on a Friday and finished on Monday. Met with my pastor on Wednesday. It was not easy by any means. Neither was today. I hit my sponsor with stuff I had never told a soul. Not even God. I walked away relieved. Shaking like a unbalanced washing machine, but relieved.

Jason, my sponsor says I'll feel better tomorrow. I feel better now.

Freed from the chains of my own guilt and shame.

Still pooped.

Larry

Keepin' It Real

2007-06-05T23:27:00.000-05:00

So, how real do you keep it when blogging? Are we shiny plastic people? Or do we lay it all out on the line?

Some blogs I have perused are vile, full of hatred and anger, an 80's punk show flyer. Show us how you really feel eh?

How far do you go with personal angst and agony? Do you name names or protect the not so innocent? I know when I finally finish my autobiography I'm not pulling any punches.

Fortunately I am doing another fith step Thursday with my sponsor. I also have therapy an hour before. So I'll be getting some needed processing done this week.

It seems I am never to escape family drama. No matter what I do it'll allways be there. God grant me the serenity etc. I feel like the elderly Michael Corleone. "No matter what I do they pull me back in!" It affects me down to my core.

When I was a kid things could be tough at times. (I am still being too chicken to keep it real here) I have bent over backwards to not make those mistakes with my girls. I never want them to feel as I did and still do. I don't get why my family doesn't do the same.

To accept the things I cannot change. I feel like I am taking crazy pills wait, oh yeah, I am.

If you can't tell I am very frustrated as I write this post. I wanna keep it much more real but the shiny won't come off just yet. My codependency still abounds I guess.

Larry

New Day

2007-05-29T21:56:00.000-05:00

Is the sun shining? Do I see light at the end of the tunnel? Am I jumping the gun?

I am always hesitant to get too excited about tomorrow. Have to make sure I'm not on a slide.
It isn't very fun to tell folks how great I am feeling then, next day can't get off the floor. Ah the bipolar hula!

Anyways, work is going good again for right now. I am getting my excercise like a good boy, and am getting better about my eating habits. Seems almost like old times before the wreck.

It's amazing what you can do with focus!

Right now.

Larry

Back on the Bike

2007-05-28T22:17:00.000-05:00

Do you feel the winds of change?

Soon this weight will fall away

And take you to a place

Only found through these winds of change

Winds of Change, Kutless

What a good weekend. I have been back on my bike twice. Day one, 4o minute or so ride. Day two an hour. I almost ate it today on the wet trails. It is tradition here that it always rains Memorial day weekend. This one was no exception.

Of course I did the obligitory Memorial Day guy thing. Watched two hours of the series Band of Brothers. I had never seen the last two episodes. Fantastic, I never cease to be in awe of the people who serve in uniform for our country. I watch our guys over in Iraq and Afganistan on the Military Channel and feel like a complete pansy. Incredible what they do.

Anyways, the above lyric is from a song that gives me hope when I'm down. I try to listen to it once a day.

I'm starting a new side-bar of what I am listening to. Just wanted to share some of the tunes that have given me a boost.

Trust me,

There have been a lot

Larry

Finally, The Awards Are Out!

2007-05-27T19:18:00.001-05:00

Last month Shirley Buxton presented me with The Thinking Blogger Award. It was the first blog award I have recieved from my peers, and coming from her was a true honor. So today, finally, I am awarding five blogs that really make me think.

1. Three Kid Circus. I love the name of Jenny's blog. I have tons of kids in my house and I love her stories. The post that really got me was "Bad to the Bone" I was laughing hysterically. When I was a kid we weren't allowed to say "butt" either, we had to say bottom or even worse, fanny. (is it any wonder I have issues?)

2. A LifeTime on the Ride: Mandy has been one of my blogging buddies since I started. This past year has been a huge growing experience for her, and I have enjoyed and found strength in her writing. She has gone from severe depression to running freaking marathons!

3. The Soiled Chamois: This one is a bit different. Jason is an endurance mountain biker. Half the time I am not sure what he is talking about but, (bike terminology) he is totally driven to what he does. Jason writes about it with humor and flair.

4. Acute Politics: Teflon Don does an awesome job writing on his experiences in Iraq. It is almost like you are there with him. We need to honor him and all our serving men and women in uniform past and present for Memorial Day. Actually they should be honored everyday for their sacrifice.

5. Blah Blah Blog: Linda (aka Lou) not only has a great sense of humor but is a great humanitarian as well. She is a nurse who spends her summers on mission trips. Make sure you check out her emergency roomisms.

So all of y'all check-em out. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

Larry

Eternity

2007-05-22T19:10:00.000-05:00

Ecclesiastes 3-11

God has planted eternity in the human heart.

How do we fathom this? God has planted eternity in our hearts. It means that each of us, no matter where we are from. No matter what our culture, He has done this for all of human-kind.

Paul tells us in Romans that people instinctively know about God. He has placed this knowledge in our hearts as well.

In my life I denied this for years. Things were wrong, and I could never quite put my finger on what it was. My lifestyle was fueled by the weekend. The never ending I owed it to myself whether I deserved it or not. Then Monday morning "welcome back to reality."

Self medication with a prescription of lies and fears with a dose of as needed, leaves you lost in the world. This place we live in with it's decieving beauty is empty without God. We can see what he has created but, without him it is hollow, nothing. We see without seeing. We know but don't. Going through the motions.

I knew my life was wrong. A disaster, with a gulf of no hope. Hope is like sight. You don't know what's missing until you recieve it. The last time I visited the eye doctor he changed my contacts. I tried the new lenses and "wow!" I can see!

I had no idea my lack of hope until I had it.

In Christ I'll have it for eternity.

Larry

The Journey

2007-05-20T19:45:00.001-05:00

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. An ant builds a mound one grain of sand at a time. Faith as small as a mustard seed can move a mountain.

Jesus is a lamp to our feet, a light unto our path. A light at our feet means we can only see what is right ahead of us. Single steps, single steps. The kiss principle, keep it simple stupid.

Sometimes something so small is the way to go. I don't have to slay the dragon all at once, I'll just hack away and pray for progress. My thought processes seem to be getting back to normal. My focus is much better.

Right now.

I hate to go more than that because I don't know what tomorrow holds. I pray for strength and the peace that passes all understanding. I also pray that I will totally accept the Grace and the supernatural love that God has for me. I do but, my brain has a hard time encompassing it.

Hey, I journaled three days in a row...

Pray for George, that he will come to know Christ and accept His Grace.

Larry

Crossroads

2007-05-15T20:58:00.000-05:00

Up, down. Up down. You know it is really cool that I finally know what I'm dealing with in my Life. I recognize the cycles of mania and depression.

Stuff makes sense now. Changes will have to be made. Commission sales may not be the best thing for me anymore.

What to do? I have been praying for The Lord to open another door for me. Stability would be a good thing.

I am coming to a crossroads. Which way do I go?

God will tell me. If I shut up and listen.

Larry

Love Part II

2007-05-14T14:50:00.000-05:00

I recently finished reading Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller What a fantastic Read! I got so much out of it.

You can read stuff and something clicks that blows your mind. A new way of looking at things.

Here is something that really changed my thinking from reading the book. I am totally relating to what spoke to me as I read. These are not quotes from the book. If it smooshes with it consider it a paraphrase.

You have to completely accept God's Supernatural Love.

I am the greatest in the world at talking down to myself. When I say a bad word. Have lustful thoughts, let my eyes wander, or watch something I shouldn't, I feel guilty to the point of paralyzation. Like Jim Carrey in the movie Liar Liar. You know, the bathroom scene. "Excuse me! Do you mind! I'm Kickin' my own ass!"

Paul tell's us "While we were still sinners Christ died for us." Jesus knows how broken and twisted we are. That's why he did what he did. We were beyond the law. Now we are free!

Shame and guilt can torture us into believing, how could God love us? This is satan seperating us from the Sheperd. Good conviction is a tug, a desire to do better. If you hear, you suck, how could you do that, what is wrong with you, it is of the devil.

All you have to say to remember is, Jesus died for me!

Larry

Love

2007-05-11T09:49:00.000-05:00

I loved my morning devotional today.

I thought I would share it with you.

2007/05/11

Loving Out The Fear

by Jon Walker

All of you should be of one mind, full of sympathy toward each other, loving one another with tender hearts and humble minds. (1 Peter 3:8 NLT)

God enables us to love the fear out of one another.
We drive fear from our families and friends by loving one another so supportively that every one feels safe inside the group (1 John 4:18). This safety allows us to bring our humanity into the open, including all our pain and joy, our ups and downs, our victories and defeats.

It means you give to others the same uncommon safety Christ gives you – to be real, to be sad, to be messed up and confused, yet to be loved.

God challenges us to create a Christ-community where we love like our lives depend upon it (1 Peter 1:22) and where we can each “live and move and have our being.” (Acts 17:28)
We’re to weep as one and celebrate as one, caring for each other equally (1 Corinthians 12:25-26) as we comfort and confront, warm and warn, cherish and challenge within an atmosphere of supportive safety.

Loving the fear out of each other requires that we develop:

Tender hearts – We give support to each other because God gives us support, and we’re to encourage others with the encouragement we receive from him. (2 Corinthians 1:4)

In the New Testament, the word ‘support’ can literally mean “to increase one another’s potential.” (Romans 14:19 NJB) We strengthen one another by extending love, instead of fostering fear, and we do that by offering relationships that are safe and sympathetic.

Humble minds –True humility focuses on the worth of others. We understand our value in Christ, and we understand that God shapes each of us for a unique purpose.

Godly eyes – Loving the fear out of our family and friends – in fact, loving the fear out of the world – means we see others for what they can be, not for what they appear to be now. Jesus called Peter a rock when the fisherman was still acting on impulse (Matt. 16:18), and God called Gideon a mighty man of courage when he was hiding from the enemy among piles of grain. (Judges 6:11-12) God calls us to encourage and affirm each other (1 Thessalonians 5:11), seeing those around us in terms of their purpose and mission in life.

So what?
God enables us to love the fear out of one another. You can love the fear out of others, and you can allow the fear to be loved out of you.

We exhibit tender hearts when we say to one another:

It’s OK to have a bad day.·

It’s OK to be tired.·

It’s OK to admit your mistakes.·

It’s OK to say your marriage is failing.·

It’s OK to confess your addiction.· It’s OK to share you’re scared.·

It’s OK to want a day away from your toddler.·

It’s OK to grieve this loss.·

It’s OK to doubt, to be confused, to cry.

We exhibit humble minds when we say to one another:

It’s OK to be happy you got a new car.

It’s OK to celebrate that you got a huge raise.

It’s OK to joyfully tell us you lost 17 pounds.

It’s OK to say you won the sales competition.

It’s OK to shout “Hallelujah!” because God’s presence in your life is so good.

It’s OK to tell us these things because we will be as happy for you as if these blessings had come to us, and we will join you in hearty celebration.

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Spam

2007-05-08T21:40:00.000-05:00

Ahh Spam! Is it fried? Baked with jelly on top? Or is it that annoying stuff that clogs your email no matter how many times you block?

What a great name for email adverts. Nobody really knows what or where the original Spam comes from and it is kinda hard to know where this email stuff comes from as well.

Don't get me wrong, I like spam. Fried and dipped in mustard. Baked with grape jelly on top... Hey, don't knock it till you have tried it. I also like chocolate cake and a glass of buttermilk with salt in it. Oops, I probably scared all my readers away with that one.

But this email spam is pretty annoying.

I only wish I could get that money from Abu Mbinki the poor widower who could be rich If I could just give him my banking info. Man if I could only collect half of the laptops and Ipods I'm offered I could open my own electronics store. How about opening a pharmacy? Dude, what about the stock tips? Busting the Dow wide open, man what a dream! Free theme park tickets, Motorola Razrs. Wow, spam offers so many incredible opportunities! I'm not even going into the dating ones or the natural male.... Ahh never mind.

I think I'll just stick with the one in the can.

Larry

P.S. I am working on my thinking blogger awards.

Making Sense

2007-05-01T22:34:00.000-05:00

Moments of clarity. The light bulb comes on. Something clicks, and suddenly you get it.

How does this happen? How do we get away from the foundational things Jesus has given us? Then suddenly we get it again?

I know what I have to do in my life, but dang it, I don't. I know what He wants from me, I fight.

The verse in the song Hold Me Jesus is so me.

"I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want than to take what You give that I need."

I am like grandpa's mule who needed a two by four to get him moving. The call is there but I will not pick up the phone. I will not listen to the messages either because I don't want to hear them. So they pile up.

Paul said it best.

"I know that nothing good lives in me. That is my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is right, but I cannot carry it out.

I don't want to be blinded to get it. I don't want to be swallowed by a fish either.

I better shut up and know He is God.

I want to thank Shirley Buxton for awarding me the Thinking Blogger Award. It means a lot coming from her. I admire her writing a great deal and for her to say I write beautifully was a wonderful compliment. Even more is her support and her prayers. So watch out fellow bloggers this award will be coming to five blogs that really make me go "hmmm." (I can't help being a cornball.)

The history behind this award can be found here.

Larry

The Bi-Polar Hula

2007-04-24T14:23:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted for a while. I am sorry if any of you have worried. It has been a difficult time for me both at home and work.

After the first of the year my family went through a trauma of sorts. Some extreme personal differences erupted between my parents and I. The end result being, I left the family business. All of this happened while I was still recovering from the effects of coming off of my pain medication.

Since then I have been struggling with major depression and anxiety. Trying to build a new business and maintain my recovery. Needless to say it has been tough.

My doc put me on Prozac which enabled me to get up off of the floor. I still struggled with doing something, anything productive. Each day was a battle. I couldn't focus on anything. Prayer, recovery, work, family, whatever. A friend told me that if you are taking antidepressants and you are still depressed you are probably bi-polar. "Yeah dude what-ever" I said. "Denial!" I had seen so many in recovery diagnosed with bi-polar I didn't want anything to do with it. Lithium? No way not me!

I blew it off for a week or so and then I started getting desperate. I looked up the symptoms and went, oh. I set an appointment for my psychiatrist. He put me on lamictal. I am building up the dosage right now, but I feel normal again. He hasn't officially diagnosed me, however if it looks like a duck it probably is.

The icing on the cake is that I can focus again. That is the real miracle. I feel connected with God, my program, and my family. I finished reprocessing my "traumas" with a new fourth step today and feel better than I have in weeks.

So, I hope to be back more consistantly and to not be so freaking serious about everything.

Aloha

Larry