Sunday, June 4, 2006

What Me Normal?

Ahhh, love these nights full of regrets. Two weeks after surgery and I'm like, what was I thinking? I know I know, look how I've improved so far. Tonight, it's not enough. Day by day laying around the house. Completely unable to affect anything. Nerve pain abounds as my nerve endings start to wake back up. My favorite is the one that runs from my lower back, right beside the incision, down my right leg to just behind my knee. Throb throb burn burn.

Couch potato, thats what they told me to be until my Dr's Appointment this coming Thursday. Unable to go to meetings, unable to go to church, unable to work. This is nothing I didn't know was coming. Reality is much more fun than imagining isn't it?

What I wouldn't give to feel normal right now. To be able to run down stairs and jump the last five steps. To go for a road trip, conduct an enrollment, deal with a crisis. I realize this will all pass. I realize this is only temporary for me. I know that I still have it better off than others. But It sucks right now and I want to vent. This week at the Doctor they are going to do an x-ray to make sure everything is aligned then their gonna tell me to start walking everyday. Thank God! A goal. A task.

Sorry to unload. Y'all are my group right now lol. Don't forget anonymity lol. It works if you work it.

Be better next time.




ellen said...


I am sorry you are going a little stir crazy and are still in pain. I pray you are able to be up and about very soon. Thank you for your very kind thoughts on my post about life's purpose and identity.

Helen Losse said...

Thanks for sharing, Larry. Thanks for being a part of this group. You are in my prayers.

Mandylea said...

Larry...I have a little inkling of how you are feeling. Not so much the pain, but the "uselessness" feeling. You ought to go to my site and then go to March Archives and read Gotta be honest with myself. It may make you feel like you are not totally alone. Hope you feel better soon, very soon.


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